The Boston Bruins vs. the Montreal Canadiens: A Trying Game Seven

Have you ever spent fourteen hours at a school? I wouldn't recommend it. Unless you can re-route your TV studio's server so that you can watch the Montreal Canadiens/Boston Bruins seventh game of their first round series.

Needless to say, the only good thing to come out of this (as I was cheering for the Bruins) was that I finished my homework—although that happened long before the game started.

Setting up the cast: It's been a while since I did a running diary with other characters—so let me introduce Ian Duggan and Bianca Zuniga. They're dating, and Ian is a classmate who was finishing up his documentary tonight—I stayed to keep them company.

There were other people there like Abiey, Richard, Mike, Courtney, Megan, and BA, but you won't hear from them. In fact, that's the only time you'll hear about them at all.

Let's get to it!! 

7:02: Elliott Friedman informs us that Guy Carboneau is wearing his luck tie—is this bad news for the Bears (sorry, couldn’t resist)? With that, we hear that when Carey Price is on his game, he doesn’t have to move more than six inches.

7:05: A riveting musical interlude and the Bruins and Les Habitants take to the ice. The Bruins are met with a chorus of boos, while Carey Price leads the Bleu, Blanche, et Rogue out to a rousing ovation. The camera keeps going back to Saku Koivu—my first Tim McCarver moment arrives at the same time as well, and here it is: Saku Koivu will have a huge role in this game—he’ll either win, or lose the game for the Habs.

7:08: It’s refreshing not to hear anyone boo the National Anthem.

7:09: And here we go, if you didn’t have enough of him during Leafs games, its Bob Cole!! With him is Greg Millen—who ranks up there with Jamie Campbell, Tim McCarver, and Mike Wilner amongst broadcasters I can't stand.

7:11: And the puck drops, as we start with a little end-to-end action as Montreal rings one off the post. This is probably a good time to mention that I haven’t eaten since 6:30am and I’ve been staring at a computer screen all day—I may fly off the handle at some point during the next few hours—God help you if there's overtime.

7:15: There it is! The first goal of the game goes to Montreal and Ian (Also cheering for the Bruins) drops a few F-Bombs as we watch Mike Komisarek’s point shot get tipped as it ripples the twine. Ian does his best Bob Cole impression of “what a great goal” to quell his rage.

7:17: The B’s are buzzing but they can’t get anything past Carey Price. The more surprising thing is how Tim Thomas is daring enough to dive and slam into Steve Begin head-to-head on a breakaway. It looked a lot more painful than it was I guess as both were fairly quick to get up.

7:19: After a bunch of ‘close-but-no-cigar’ cheers from the crowd, Thomas quickly covers up to get a faceoff. If anyone can tell me what the Montreal fans keep cheering (Whether it's Thomas or Bruins—there's some repetitive cheer going on) I’d love to know.

7:20: We take our first TV timeout, as Boston leads in shots 6-3, but trails 1-0. Now we get to watch another one of those Bud Light commercials—today talking about “Do Sports Announcers Disagree to have something to talk about”.

My immediate answer: Yes.

Except they don’t disagree amongst each other, so much as they disagree with the fans. Just ask Mike Wilner what it’s like to fight a fan for no reason—he’s gotten an entire post-game show out of it. Needless to say, the Flyers lead the Capitals 1-0—what a great night for hockey!

7:25: We’ve been able to reach the mid-way point of the first with nothing else eventful happening—aside from Zdeno Chara being booed constantly, which somehow gives me this idea: Would a reality show with the 6’9 Chara and the Congo-native Dikembe Mutombo work? Would it feautre the least understood dialogue in the world?  If anyone’s seen the NBA special on Dikembe on Youtube, they know it’d at least be enjoyable on his end. I think this show at least deserves a pilot episode.

7:28: As I’m rambling, the Bruins go to the powerplay, which is fairly uneventful. In other words, it’s still 1-0.

7:32: Another penalty is called against Montreal and Guy Carboneau is not happy, which catches Greg Millen’s attention. I don’t know why Millen is making a big deal about this, I don’t know why Carboneau would want to throw a picnic if one of his players took a penalty.

7:36: We’re still fairly uneventful here, although Ian has gone and made some microwaveable noodles as we wait for Bianca to decide on what she really wants to eat.

In the meantime, Canada’s Under-18 team won 3-2 (I left after the first goal of the game went to Sweden—that’s how long I’ve been at school), while Martin Brodeur, Evgeni Nabokov, and Henrik Lundqvist are your Vezina trophy candidates. I’m personally voting for Nabby.

7:39: CBC’s fast fact—the Montreal Canadiens are 2/29 on the powerplay during the series. This is made relevant by the fact that Mark Stuart just took a penalty—I wonder if Claude Julien is mad?

7:41: Note to all American readers—there’s an upcoming CFL reference: David Boston is coming to the CFL! Just another castoff NFL receiver that the Argos will put up with an average showing from for a season-and-a-half and then release. The good news is he hasn’t caught a pass in two years! I love Toronto Sports.

In other news: The first period is over. 1-0 Canadiens.

7:47: Don Cherry’s annual playoff rant: GRINDERS WIN GAMES!!! Complete with highlights from Calgary’s last game, I think I know who he wants to win game 7—although he seems to think that San Jose was just “waiting” to get to game seven. Kind of like Eddie Murphy was just “waiting” for pre-op transsexual Atisone Seiuli.

Something I didn’t know: Eddie Murphy released a song called Put Your Mouth on Me. I’m not sure how to feel anymore.

7:50: Reasons why Don Cherry is anti-Montreal: He coached in Boston, he was the fastest coach to 250 wins, he had an insane winning percentage, four first place titles, and many other reasons. Some of these may be wrong as he talks way too fas for me to type, but I think we can all take solace in the fact he just didn’t start bashing French people…yet.

7:57: Chris Higgins forgoes the “emotional speech in between periods” and instead answers a few questions for Elliot Friedman.

I have a question though: Do the coaches actually plan around the between-period interviews and then time their speeches accordingly, or do they just go ahead with them?

Maybe Higgins just missed the “be-all, end-all strategy on how to defeat the Bruins". Or maybe Guy Carboneau just re-tied his favorite tie. We’ll never know.

8:02: The most eventful thing that came across the airwave since the second period started is that Glen Murray isn’t on the Boston bench to start the period. Somewhere Sean Crowe just wept into his pillow.

8:07: Washington is losing 2-0. It’s been 4:20 in the second period of this game, and nothing has happened. No one has even done any hitting—which is probably the reason we’re considering renting Grindhouse right about now.

8:09: That’s it—I’ve given in. Bianca is telling me “who the stick to her candy apple is” by lurking photos on Facebook. There are two things wrong with that sentence: 1) I just used the word “lurking” which has become way overused since things like MySpace and Facebook came to fruition—which account for seven of the top-ten reasons why the Internet is the devil, and 2) I just realized that of the 14 hours I’ve been at the school, I’ve been on Facebook for 12 hours. I suddenly feel like that single, 40-year old guy with binoculars that lives in that house on the corner of your street.

For some reason I want to rent 40-Year-Old Virgin now.

8:12: As good as Phil Kessel has been the past few games, Carey Price has been even better tonight8:14: Montreal takes another penalty, and if Boston scores they may just package Sergei Kostitsyn back to London—or Belarus.

8:18: 2-0 Montreal. Although we both hate it, we have to admit that Mark Strait scored a very nice goal.

8:21: I have a theory that the world is again Boston this year: Everyone wanted the Patriots to lose in the Super Bowl, and they did. People who ignored the Bruins existence for years are now back on the bandwagon, and now they’re losing. Kind of depressing eh?

8:23: My stomach is getting the better of me—time for Dairy Queen! But first, Jean Chretien makes an appearance!! In all honesty, I think it's been way too long since we've had a Prime Minister I've supported—or was so enjoyable to have parodied. Is it possible to bring Barack Obama to Canada?

9:08: Well, we’re back from Dairy Queen, the server forgot my Iced Tea, told me what was in the salad when I asked her what dressings were available for the salad, they were out of chocolate-chip cookie dough for the chocolate-chip cookie dough blizzard, and we were next to a TV when Montreal scored at 8:31pm on a powerplay. It turns out the Andrei Kostitsyn won’t be heading back to Belarus anytime soon, and I wasn’t really surprised when it was Chara walking out of the box. In other words, it was a waste of time…

9:11: Washington is winning! Yes!!! I can’t believe something good actually came of that trip!!

9:13: Seriously? The lettuce in this salad (also from Dairy Queen) is older than Chris Chelios. BT is not impressed.

9:15: Something I’ve never understood: Why do the Habs fans always sing the national Flip-Cup theme song (Ole, ole, ole ole…ect.)?

9:19: Note to self: When camera is rolling, don’t pretend you can rap (There will be a link to this eventually…unfortunately).

9:22: An update from Alexander Ovechkin…er Ron MacLean. Speaking of Ovechkin, he scores to put the Caps up 4-2!! At least Ian is happy about something now.

9:23: There it is: Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey, Gooooood-byyyyyeeeee. All I have to say, is at least I’m not in any way connected, or trying to re-connect to, the Boston Bruins. This is painful—even if you’re a Leafs fan.

To further emphasize my point, Marc Savard of all people takes a penalty.

9:29: There it is. The fourth goal, and again it’s Andrei Kostitsyn. The fact that I have to put up with the “Nah, Nah, Nah” chant for even longer. There should be a mercy rule.

9:30: I guess the fact that Toronto missed the playoffs saves them this embarrassment. Meanwhile, Bob Cole reminds us that a lot of people didn’t even think Montreal would make the playoffs this season. And just so you know, Greg Millen says that Carey Price is there too. Believe him.

9:33: Does the fact that the other Kostitsyn brother scored even mean anything? Not really, other than the fact that I feel sorry for Tim Thomas—I mean is there any goalie in the league that’s worked harder or longer just to sniff the big time?

9:36: Saku Koivu is given the final words on the ice with Elliot Friedman. Although I can’t stand the Canadiens, I have to tip my hat to Koivu—he’s one of the most respectable, persevering players in the NHL. He may not be the best scorer, but if I had to choose one hockey play for my kids to emulate, it’d be Saku.

9:37: I’m done. Carey Price is still doing an interview (so Koivu didn’t have the last words), and the only thing that proves is that, despite his struggles, the kid is for real. He came up huge in the biggest game of his career with nerves of steel. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to comprehend just how great he is—because he’s going to be good.

Oh by the way, Washington won. Thank God for game sevens!