The Portland Trail Blazers just won the Internet.
At 15-3 on the year entering Tuesday's matchup with the Oklahoma City Thunder and tied for the best record in the Western Conference, Portland decided to troll the entire Eastern Conference in fewer than 140 characters:
Is it too late to join the Eastern Conference? Asking for a friend.— Trail Blazers (@trailblazers) December 4, 2013
Blazers: one bazillion gajillion; all of the Eastern Conference: nothing.
UPDATE: Monday, Feb. 3 at 9:45 p.m. ET by Grant Hughes
The Washington Wizards struck a blow for their beleaguered conference on Feb. 3, knocking off the visiting Blazers by a final score of 100-90. They didn't miss an opportunity to fire back at Portland and the West:
---End of update---
Portland's use of social media here is golden, and it caused quite a stir in the sporting world:
“Mouahahaha RT @trailblazers: Is it too late to join the Eastern Conference? Asking for a friend.”— Mary Patrux (@MaryPatrux) December 4, 2013
Some of the fan responses to the troll-tastic tweet were just as good:
Lmfaoo Blazers with the troll of the year.— Dionne (@Lexquisite_) December 4, 2013
The Eastern Conference gotta fight the Blazers after that one.— october's first born (@DrJayJack) December 4, 2013
The reply from the Phoenix Suns was even better:
@trailblazers We asked you to keep that on the down low. That eager to get rid of us already?— Phoenix Suns (@Suns) December 4, 2013
Don't worry, Portland. I won't tell anyone if Phoenix doesn't.
What I cannot do is fix the Eastern Conference. No one can. As of Dec. 4, two teams—the Miami Heat and Indiana Pacers—stand above .500. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, via B/R's Howard Beck, this is the first time since 1972 that's happened.
Out West, meanwhile, 10 teams have a winning record and 12 are at .500 or better.
Although the Blazers are presently perched atop their own conference, their interest in heading East is understandable. They're a perfect 8-0 against Eastern Conference teams on the season, including a victory over the mighty Pacers.
Joining the opposing conference would work in Portland's favor most come playoff time.
The way the East is shaping up, the Blazers wouldn't have to worry about facing a team above .500 until the conference finals. You cannot buy that kind of luxury. It's priceless.
Where would the Blazers finish if they played in the Eastern Conference?
It's also not a scenario the Blazers will experience. Teams aren't allowed to just switch conferences (to the best of our knowledge). Commissioner David Stern would never allow it. The Association's Stern-in-training, Adam Silver, wouldn't either.
If they did, the Blazers would almost certainly need to trade places with someone. And which team would agree to swap spots with the Blazers? The Celtics, perhaps? They're sitting atop the Atlantic Division in one of the most improper tank jobs we've ever seen.
Playing out West would allow Boston, among other (unofficial) Andrew Wiggins-Jabari Parker chasers, to tank the right way, gobs of losses and all.
So make it happen, NBA. Please. The East needs a few good teams, not scads of failed tank jobs and playoff outfits below .500 like it has now.