The French Open Drinking Game

Robert OrzechowskiAnalyst IMay 24, 2009

Now that the French Open is finally here, allez allez!!  Break out the beer and hard liquor and let the French Open Drinking Game begin!!

Here are the rules and directions of the game:

 

1) Every time a frenchman/woman gets knocked out of the competition:

Down a bottle of Beaujolais wine. If wine is not available, anything fermented with alcohol will do (including mouthwash).

 

2) Every time Roger Federer shouts "Come On!":

Drink one stein of Swiss Beer followed by a glass of Swiss wine OR one stein of Swiss wine and a glass of Swiss Beer (if Federer is losing). A Swiss cheese taster is optional.

 

3) Every time Novak Djokovic thumps his chest, head, eyes, ears or other extremities and directs it to his box:

Mute the tv, put a blindfold on and sip beer with a straw directly from a vat.

 

4) Every time Anna Ivanovic....

Just salute her and shoot back a shot of whiskey wishing she was your girlfriend. Girls take an extra shot and be thankful you still have your boyfriend.

 

5) Every time Andy Murray wins a set:

Knock back a half a bottle of Beefeater's Gin because it is not guaranteed he will take the match. British people can add bitter herbs.

 

6) Every time Stan Wawrinka wins a match:

Bite into Kielbasa, drink a shot of vodka and yell  VA_VA VAVRINKA!!!!! Yes, he is Swiss but when you are Polish, you think Polish!!

 

7) Everytime Maria Sharapova shrieks in a high voice "Hpoo!!!" after hitting the ball:

Down the entire bottle of Smirnoff Ice and make sure the five coolers are well stocked.  You may have to send Igor on a Smirnoff run.

 

8) Once Fernando Verdasco is knocked out of the tournament:

A toast of cognac to those French women who be wined, dined and f******. A glass of Baby Duck to the French woman who was ovulating.

 

9) When Marat Safin wins a match:

Try to divide the Bolshoi Vodka.  When that does not work (and it won't) break out into a fight. The most scarred face has to go out to get another bottle.

 

10) Every time Andy Roddick booms a 150/mph serve:

Two rounds of Jack Daniels but make sure your baseball caps are on straight.

 

11) Every time commentator John McEnroe says "Unbelievable":

Drink pure "Southern Comfort" and obnoxiously yell anything to block out what else McEnroe may have to say.

 

12) Every time Carolyn Wozniaki serves:

Carlsberg Beer throughout the serving game. For men, put on your ex-ray glasses. For women, make sure the men get a good close-up view of what would be dessert for dinner that night.

 

13) Every time Bjorn Borg is mentioned:

Knock back a half a dozen Swedish meatballs.

 

14) Every time a replay happens:

Replay exactly what you were drinking at the time of the original play but at the same speed as the recap.

 

15) Every time Jo-Wilfred Tsonga wins a match:

One serving of any meat or fish must be eaten off the George Foreman grill.

 

16) Every time Serena Williams wins a match:

Play "I like big butts" song while drinking from any mickey available. Dance is purely optional.

 

17) When Rafael Nadal says "tankyuverymuch"!:

Drink the remaining contents of your alcohol because the French Open is officially over. 

 

18) When Roger Federer wins the French Open:

Stop smoking the wild stuff and realize that that is Rafael Nadal. You should stick to the drinking game.

19) Every time Lleyton Hewitt comes to the net:

Down two steins worth of Emu Beer.  When done everyone must stand at attention and scream "God Save Us From The Future King"  followed by "Australia, Australia, Australia - WE LOVE YOU!"

 

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