Stop. Put down that coffee. Stop eating cereal. It's time to pay attention.
If you haven't seen Tomas Hertl's amazing fourth goal from last night's game against the Rangers, you have to see it right now.
Seriously!? Did that just happen in a NHL game? Yes. Yes it did.
If you're like most hockey fans, you probably watched that clip at least 10 times all the while saying "What!?" or "How did he even..." or like me—you might have just been smiling the whole time. Lucky for us, Twitter was invented so we can see what other people thought moments after they just saw the goal!
Jake was thinking beyond the goal:
Tomas Hertl is getting laid rn by 5 California women. One for each goal and 2 for the last one 👌— Jake ♠ Spade (@iamjakespade) October 9, 2013
Steve gave him props and a shout-out to the genetalia:
What Hertl did, is just unreal, unreal. Full speed in a game, straight balls to do that. Props bro— Steve Oleszkowicz (@SteveOles) October 9, 2013
Bou got descriptive on location:
WOW! Tomas Hertl putting the biscuit on the top shelf next to dads peanutbutter http://t.co/RQY9r8q5LL— bou pistolas (@sirbou) October 9, 2013
Trevor got religious and thanked BasedGod. #TYBG
"And the Lord Stanley sent his only son, giving him to his people saying,'This is my Son. You shall call him Hertl. Praise his Based name.'"— Trevor (@trevorergas) October 9, 2013
Rhys was late to work:
Eddie felt the same way Jake did:
Well Thomas Hertl def got laid tonight.— Eddie Vargo (@Eddie_GaGa) October 9, 2013
Robes brought reality back to Philly fans:
That awkward moment when Tomas Hertl has more goals than the Philadelphia Flyers— Robes from 1991 (@__Robespierre) October 9, 2013
Rotten got political:
Sharks update! The US government shutdown just ended so Tomas Hertl could be awarded the Medal of Honor.— rottenj2 (@rottenj2) October 9, 2013
Jake never wants to let go:
Hertl is probably still scoring right now.— Jake Payne (@JakePayneSports) October 9, 2013
And Seann won the internet:
Tomas Hertl 19 years old. Scores 4 unreal goals against the New York rangers in the NHL. Seann Matthews 19 years old. Didn't leave the house— Seann Matthews (@seannmatthews) October 9, 2013
Teenage Mutant Ninja Hertl Power indeed.