Every so often the beautiful game goes big budget on us, gets some Industrial Light and Magic quality CGI, and tries to go from the little movie that could to Star Wars.
This never works.
We Americans usually think its cool of football/soccer to try and go from homely to hot, and it even draws our attention for a quick minute, but then we realize that we'd rather watch the NFL Scouting Combine.
I won't lie the whole David Beckham spectacle was quite impressive.
Honestly though, Becks popularity has more to do with things like his W Magazine cover, twenty hairstyles, and Posh Spice than his actual "footballing" ability.
After all, watching Beckham bend it isn't really all that exciting after you've seen him whip in a cross, or take a free kick for the upteenth time.
If you were trying to convince your boy that the NBA was cool you wouldn't tell him about Tim Duncan grabbing boards, or Steve Nash dropping dimes?
Look Nash occasionally throws a sweet lob or a cool no look, but common wouldn't you rather watch LeBron YouTube Tim Duncan?
Isn't it more exciting to watch Adrian Peterson run over the Chargers, or Devin Hester shake the entire Denver Broncos punt cover unit?
That's why Americans will never fall for soccer, because we don't appreciate it athletically.
Enter Cristiano Ronaldo...
Cristiano has everything we Stateside look for in a great athlete.
The kid is flat out dominating. He shakes defenders with a barrage of moves that make poor English blokes look stupid on a regular basis. He's lightning fast and is capable of dribbling through the best defenses in all of Europe.
He's the Devin Hester of soccer.
At just twenty-three years old, the Portugal native can score in every way. He can bend it like Beckham, finish like old school Ronaldo (the fat Brazilian one), drill them from outside the area like Captain Fantastic Steven Gerrard, and head them home like Ruud Van Nilsterooy.
He's the Kobe Bryant of soccer.
No look passes, back heals, bending crosses, and flick-ons routinely lead to goals for his teammates, and look as easy as cake to the young man.
He's the Magic Johnson of soccer.
His amount of game winning goals, big time penalty kicks, and match winners have been so numerous in his young Manchester United career you almost wonder if he really does have ice water running through his veins.
He's the Tom Brady of soccer.
So do me a favor and try and catch one of his "matches" or if you can't wait until then click on this link...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi-7vMnDxWI
You'll only get a glimpse of Ronaldo's skill set, but it may at least show you that there's more to soccer than just 0-0 scores.
I realize that the Premier League isn't really on TV that much, and that the Champions League is only on about once a month on ESPN 2, but if you get Fox Soccer Channel or Gol TV check out a few games.
Perhaps you'll start to understand why the beautiful game is called just that. I'm not saying you have to stop watching NFL Total Access, just that soccer is worth the second chance you thought it didn't deserve.
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