Patrick Thoresen's Groin Thanks Officials for Putting Away the Whistle

"It's always a great day when you don't have to have one of your testicles removed"—Jay Onrait.

I guess you could say that Patrick Thoresen is having a good day then.

The Philadelphia Flyers' left winger took a Mike Green slap shot off of the groin last night and was rendered useless for the remainder of the play—culminating in Washington's tying goal.

Talk about getting blue-balled (every male reader just grimaced at the thought of this).

Initially, I didn't realize that Thorensen was hit in the testicular region; As I watched the play unfold, I saw a young man block a shot, as so often happens in the NHL playoffs, but stay down in obvious pain.

Now that I know that he was hit in the groin, I can only think of one thing:

Thank God it wasn't Al MacInnis wiring one in from the point.

The news hit the wire today that Thoresen is being released from the hospital after an ultrasound last night, and a second one this morning revealed that there was nothing seriously wrong regarding the situation in Thoresen's nether region.

Paul Holmgren described the situation as "actually good news"—which is surprising (the fact that there is good news), seeing as he was "reamed off the crotch" by a frozen rubber disc going roughly 95+ mph.

The one complaint from the Flyers however, was from head coach John Stevens who thought there should have been a whistle on the play.

Now the NHL Rulebook states under Rule 18 (injured players) subsection F:

“When a player is injured so that he cannot continue play or go to his bench, the play shall not be stopped until the injured player's Team has secured possession of the puck; if the player's Team is in possession of the puck at the time of injury, play shall be stopped immediately unless his Team is in a scoring position.

(NOTE) In the case where it is obvious that a player has sustained a serious injury, the Referee and/or Linesman may stop the play immediately.”

Now I did watch the play, but I'll be honest—I can't remember if the Flyers gained control of the puck while Thoresen was writhing on the ground in pain. The only thing I remember is that he was down—for a LONG time, or at least longer than he should have been.

I do believe though that he had a serious enough injury to be awarded a stoppage in play.

If a player is down on the ice long enough for the people at home to wonder why a whistle hasn't been blown, or there's enough time for TSN to cutaway to a shot of him in pain on the ice (more grimacing necessary), is that not serious enough?

The four official system is meant for them to not miss anything on the ice. Granted each has their own specific calls that they center on throughout the course of a game, but this is a rule that can be called by any of them.

Coming from someone who'll usually defend officials, I'm pretty disappointed in how this play turned out.

Since the beginning of the season, the Flyers have been using questionable tactics to take opposing players out of the game. Although it wasn't intentional on Mike Green's part, could this be a little retribution on the part of karma?

If it is, then that's pretty petty on the part of whoever controls karma to take the reprocussions of  a team's actions out on one guy’s future family (I'm not up on the science or balance of karma—does that mean bad karma for me?).

Hopefully his kids aren't born with the Washington Capitals logo imprinted on their foreheads—especially if the Flyers end up losing.

Who knows? What's done is done. The only thing that remains to be seen is if Patrick Thoresen recovers in time to play in game two, and knowing him, he still won't think twice about blocking a shot after receiving the worst groin shot in the history of, well, groin shots (I mean listen carefully on that link up there—you can HEAR it).

So for having the ability to make an entire gender cringe and grab themselves out of sheer fear and pain (as well as probably shed a few tears for your sake), get well soon.

The fact that you got up and skated off makes you more of a man than I ever could be.

Today's games on Versus include:

Boston Bruins @ Montreal Canadiens-Game 2 at 7:00pm Eastern

Dallas Stars @ Anaheim Ducks-Game 2 at 10:00pm Eastern