My dad said it best, “I went to a drug bust and a baseball game broke out.”
Actually, I think that’s a twist on an old Rodney Dangerfield line, but you get my point.
The saddest thing about Manny being Manny is it overshadowed some of the cool things that happened in yesterday’s Phillies loss.
Wait, has Flattish lost her mind? Cool things and loss? Can you even use those two words in the same sentence?
Yes. I was 20 years old and the guy’s name was Trevor and he had a terrific body. Are you with me so far?
Anyway, everyone has said plenty about Manny and we’re about to be inundated with what a bad boy A-Rod’s been, so let’s find something else to talk about.
Like ballplayers—more specifically the Philadelphia Phillies. Ahhhhh, I feel better already.
Was it just me or was Jayson Werth having a great time last night in spite of everything? He was sliding and catching and hitting and running and scoring.
He was like that happy stray dog that runs up to you in the park and sets down a log three times the size of his body and then barks twice, meaning, “Wanna play!”
I’d take him home.
Shane Victorino extended his personal hitting streak to sixteen games. And what about that pickle? I thought Shane was fried, and as much as I appreciate deep-fried pickles I couldn’t bear to watch my favorite little Hawaiian get luau-ed.
Then, the call...Obstruction?! I thought that’s what my dad was when my dates came to pick me up.
Shane’s pickle has definitely topped my list of favorite all-time baseball plays. Sure, it’s dirty ball but it’s dirty ball that worked in the Phil’s favor. You can’t fault a guy for wanting to get around the bases; that’s all part of the game (which is probably why my dad ran interference).
And Shane’s savvy had nothing to do with performance enhancing drugs (which I’ve heard make it hard to slide into home). It was just good old-fashioned baseball - as refreshing as seeing a new Matthew McConaughey movie.
Raul’s performance in left field had similarities to that of Pat Burrell. NOT!
How about JA Happy? Sorry, I can’t stop smiling and I just can’t drop the ‘y’. That kid’s got balls coming off the bench and cleaning up that mess with three-and-two-thirds scoreless innings.
Mitch Williams said he looked so good he believes the next pitcher who falters will be replaced in the rotation by Happy, and Mitch mentioned names—Joe Blanton and Chan Ho Park. Curiously, Brett Myers, who’s slated for Sunday’s game was not in the mix.
Maybe he’s found his mojo? On that note, maybe we should start consulting with his wife instead of all those sports professionals.
Now for a bit of bad news. Jamie Moyer was screwed by the home plate umpire. Wait, that didn’t come out right. He was the victim of bad calls. That’s better. Jamie needs the corners—he deserves the corners.
If the ump was simply stingy with the zone, that’s one thing, but he was as irregular as a dirt-eating donkey. And it simply left a stench. I’m hurt because I want Jamie to reach 250 wins simply because it’ll make for a great moment (like that one with Trevor). And that’s what life’s all about – great moments.
So even after suffering a two-game sweep in new Citi Field and helping the Mets almost double their home field number of dingers, we’re still in first place.
Come on home, boys. As Tom Bodett would say, “We’ll leave the light on for you.”
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