Top 10 Ways You Know Your Season Is Going Bad

10. Keiichi Yabu (RP-SF Giants)

Yabu was working his arms out using elastic bands. If you are a pitcher or baseball player, you know about the elastic bands that people place anywhere to do simulated throws and stretch arms out.

Yabu was doing this when the hooks snapped and the elastic band whipped around hitting him in the eyes.

He lost vision for a second and then his vision became blurry. He recently made his first relief appearance of the season so he will be fine. Here is an article on his injury.

9. Elton Patterson (DE- Orlando Predators AFL)

It is one thing to get hurt in the game.

But Elton Patterson was warming up and pumping up the crowd. He jumps up and down as if in a huddle yelling, "What time is it? Game Time!!!" until he stops, drops, and rolls.

Watching it I feel bad for the man but cannot help but laugh. Here is his highlight. 

8. Brandon Marshall (WR-Denver Broncos NFL)

What makes this injury so great is that he lied about it and made up an embarrassing story about it.

He originally stated he slipped on a fast food bag (McDonald's, I believe) and fell through his TV, severing an artery, muscles, and a few veins on his arm.

Embarrassing right? Not the truth though.

He came forward a day later to tell the truth. He did put his arm through a TV, but it was done while wrestling with his family. Basically his family went WWE on him and through him through a TV.

I am waiting for him to come out and tell everyone he punched the TV when he lost to a family member playing Madden 08 on his PS3.  

7. Your cleanup batter has 106 Home runs entering the season and his career high is 19 Home runs.

Your Ace pitcher had a 4.53 ERA last season and already has his ERA up to 6.30 in two starts.

This is a bad sign. If not for Aaron Rowand, this team would struggle to hit 100 home runs this season. Thankfully, after Zito the rotation looks good for the Giants.

6. Patrick Roy (Coach- Quebec Remparts of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League)

He was suspended for 5 games for telling his son, a fellow goaltender, to fight another player.

Roy was always a heated, testosterone filled player who may have been under the medical condition known as 'roid rage (just me guessing, no evidence to support the claims.)

Anyway, Roy is not the person with the bad season, it is the team he coaches.

Just imagine a practice. "Hey, skate ten suicides and the last one to finish has to fight me."

Or "After our passing drills we are going to head over to the gym and learn some Tae Bo from some Billy Blanks videos I found, so you can fight better you bunch of wusses."

Or finally, "Hey I want everyone to meet our newest addition to the team, he is mean, he is crazy, and he will do anything to win a fight. Meet our new assistant coach: Mike Tyson."

5. You played for the New Jersey Institute of Technology basketball team and just went 0-29.  Not only did you have the worst season ever, but now you get to come back next year and continue the streak.

This seems like something that can haunt a program forever. It really does not help the recruiting process and really everyone just wonders how they could not win one game. Even the Miami Dolphins found a way to win last year.

4. Your name is Barry Bonds. You can play but no one wants you. This may be a redemptive story if someone signs him but for now its just sad. No joke on this one

3. Your name is Clutch the Bear (Mascot of the Houston Rockets) and Tracy McGrady just dared you to wrestle Booker T of the WWE. And you did so admirably, but still. Take a look.

Even though wrestling is fake, you still do not want to wrestle if you are a mascot. Mascots are lovers not fighters.

Still, respect goes to Clutch. I became a closet Rockets fan because of that guy, so it cannot be that bad of a season. No, I take that back: I do not like the Rockets I just like Clutch. Take a look at his other videos here, here, and here. I mean, he even has his own music video!

2. You are the favorites to win the World Series and you decide to spice things up in the league by starting off in thirtieth out of 30.

Here is to an 0-7 start with a total of 15 runs in those 7 games. Granted, they did win but they have a over-hyped starter and a great player at 3B, but he is no savior.

They can still do it, which is why there are 162 games in a season, but it will be no easy task in the deep AL. Even then the NL can always surprise a team and win the whole thing. 

1. You are the Chicago Cubs and are celebrating 100 years of infidelity!!! Go Cubs!  Let us all hope this does not last 100 more years. 100 is usually a good number, but for not winning a championship in 100 years, it really puts a damper on spirits.

But man does it make for one crazy story. Bartman, Black Cat, Collapses, Billy Goats and everything else that made this one of the most loved losers of all time. Here is a stirring tribute to those Cubbies.