It's Official: I Want to Be Matt Leinart!

MSNBC calls it a setback for Leinart, the Arizona Cardinals, and the NFL.

I call it a setback for my ego.

Seriously, I thought I had been pretty adept with the ladies back in my "playin" days, but I have to tip my hat to Matt Leinart, he's doing better.

Really, what the heck do a bunch of pencil pushing, PC patrolling, namby-pamby reporters know about the good life?

While they are hunched down in the bushes outside of some celebrity's house waiting to drill them with questions, the celebrity is IN the house living the life of, well, the life of a celebrity.

I referenced my good ol' days, but I have an excuse for my seeming ineptitude compared to Leinart: I wasn't a rich, famous, professional starting quarterback.

There! I feel much better now.

In comparison to the women Leinart has already been rumored to have been with, this group isn't really up to his normal standards—but sometimes, quantity IS better than quality.

Now that's always a welcome sight...the beer bong!

What the media will now have you believe is that Bill Bidwell, Ken Whisenhunt, and the Cardinals organization are embarrassed and humiliated by these pictures. The truth of the matter is they aren't.

You see, only the people that have never seen on TV, had gone to, or heard about a party are going to be shocked.

If you've never beer bonged a twelver or been in a room where someone has, then you've been sheltered.

You may want to take a trip to your local hardware store, purchase a funnel and tubing (preferably 3' to 4'), stop by the liquor store, snag a case of your favorite beer, and call a friend over (to hold the assembled bong).

Drinking is a serious issue if abused or done prior to operating heavy machinery—nobody is making light of that. Why do people have to make light moments dark?

The guy was having a fun time in the privacy of his home. He wasn't killing dogs, selling or doing drugs, throwing dollar bills at strippers, or punching out newly turned adults.

Matt Leinart does have a couple of problems, though. The first problem is that he doesn't have enough arms to put around his girlfriends. If he asks real nice, I may give him a hand.

The second and biggest problem that he has is that one of his so-called friends doesn't know the meaning of "private party."

If I were Matt, that would be the only problem concerning me.