Kobe Bryant can market anything.
Over the past 17 years, we've seen the Los Angeles Lakers superstar plaster his brand anywhere it could fit. From shoes to jackets to ice baths, the Black Mamba's label is (in at least some capacity) everywhere.
So, it's only fitting that Bryant would use his Achilles injury to take branding to the next level.
Bryant tweeted an Instagram picture of his Achilles boot—clad with a conspicuous Nike logo—because, well, he's Kobe
Why wouldn't his Achilles boot be endorsed by Nike? This is the Mamba, after all. His name can sell anything.
But the boot isn't enough. If Bryant and Nike are going to do this right, they need to sell the whole rehabilitation process—not just the equipment that will fuel it.
Which brings us to Bryant's recovery methods. How does he intend to neutralize the injury?
By dominating it.
That's what the caption beneath the picture read, at least:
YES! Dominate the boot. Dominate tendons. Dominate the cast. Dominate rehab. Dominate dominating demure dominants domination. Wtf u ask?!? "Your Welcome" #dominatehashtags
So there you have it. No need to concern yourself with the intricacies of his physical restoration. Using the Kobe System, he's simply going to dominate the reclamation proceedings from start to finish.
How long will it take Bryant to recover using the "Kobe System?"
To think we were worried the 34-year-old had incurred one internal abrasion too many.
In other news, if Nike could find a way to sponsor the ground Bryant walks on or the air he breathes (or both), they probably would.
Admittedly, I'm not sure you can get more creative than this, though. This isn't some carbonated beverage or a pair of greasy ground-beef patties Bryant is slinging. This is medicinal footwear. It's an entire rehabilitation system.
Why the hell not?
If Michael Jordan can push underwear, Bryant can surely combine fashion with function and sport the most recognizable Achilles boot there ever was.