The 2009 WWE Draft: Random Thoughts and Nagging Questions

Memmie B.Contributor IApril 14, 2009

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JUNE 15:  Batista poses in the ring during WWE Smackdown at Acer Arena on June 15, 2008 in Sydney, Australia.  (Photo by Gaye Gerard/Getty Images)

The Draft

Welcome to Raw – it's a big thing ALL the announcers are there. There is JR, Cole, Jerry (DOM Lawler, and three other guys.  Not sure of their names. One looks like the little guy with glasses from tough enough a few years back. Why is Lawler orange?

Bastisa’s back. 

Vickie G. comes out doing her “Sister Mary Elephant” routine. 

First Match Cena vs Jack Swagger? (ECW) who comes down the ramp, there are heels and faces and well just rookie jerks out of their depths.  One quickly could see this kid knew he is having a rare RAW appearance. 

He really needs to impress —He doesn’t—Swagger‘s timing was off for most of the match. His spots clearly faked, the camera guy is not kind to this kid. Swagger needs to learn his camera angles. Lord I sound like Tyra Banks on ANTM (Guys ask your girlfriends for an explanation). 

Way too many spots of him standing looking at the camera and breathing, not mugging or playing up the action, nope just breathing. I understand it’s like a T-ball player playing in Yankee Stadium.   

Speaking of the camera work, WHO is operating the cameras? The close ups Cena’s teeth would make a dentist proud.

Draft pick: wait for it...Wait…Triple H to Raw (Gasp) couldn’t see that coming.

Love Santino Marella—honestly do I need to elaborate on why?

Draft pick—CM (Make me a Superstar, please) Punk to Smackdown—brief case thing worked out so well for him last year.  Heck let’s do it again.

The Miz w/ the Morrison vs. Kingston—good match. Miz more fun to watch—came with built in audience. Is good in the ring , better on the mic. Who will they push … Draft pick Morrison he’s pretty... NO Wait Miz to Raw? Miz squishes Morrison. 

Lawler says something I agree with?  I need to rewind the DVR this can't be true.  It is the right guy going to RAW.  I will duct tape the cynic in me an enjoy the moment.

And yes  Jerry (DOM) Lawler is still orange. I don't need to adjust my TV settings.

15 guys in t-shirts: Draft Pick x2 Smackdown, picks first Kane ('Taker and Kane Brothers of Destruction back together again and the feud be far behind.) and second Jericho in speedos. Alrighty then moving on.

Oh Christian – It’s good to see him back, he will win. This means someone in back pulled short straw and will get sent to the ECW.

They need someone who can command the crowd’s attention, Flashy, Someone with great verbal skills and buckets of charm and charisma.  Like Edge – built in feud with Christian in hand. 

Draft Pick: Vladimir Kozlov -Yeah that’s what the little show that could needs a guy who doesn’t speak moves like a robot and squishes all he touches (if he has a big hat, stripped tie and 20 years maybe they have something.)

CM (Make me a Superstar, please) Punk now of Smackdown vs. Matt Hardy now of RAW  - Can Jeff be far behind – he comes, there they go. Match over CM Punk kinda won; well he still has the briefcase.

Draft Pick: Another nameless cookie-cutter blonde goes to RAW this one has a pink belt. I remember not long ago one could tell the woman wrestlers apart. Now they really should make them wear football jersey numbers on their chest so we can tell them apart.

Next Up  Jericho vs. Tommy Dreamer, (when did he come back) I really need to read the ECW spoilers more.  I’ll say it now “Jericho wins” time to get a soda.

Draft Pick: Ray Ray goes home to Smackdown. Good Move, I like Ray Ray.

The BIG match of the night. Bastisa doing the Warrior’s rope shake—Shane takes Dave out.  Wait for it...Triple H wins.

11:05 the long fade stare down bring in a close shot of the future of the WWE Randy Orton. Ok I just had to see if that sat any better in print.


Three Hours and I’m left with a few nagging questions:

Was the camera guy the same one 'Taker landed on and was that why he felt the need to keep a REALLY close eye on the wrestlers, or was there a bet that Cena had spinach in his teeth?

Why did it take so long for Triple H to write himself back onto RAW?

Is there anyone left on ECW? If there is would I recognize them?  

Just how much money does the WWE pay in EPA fines annually for all the drums of peroxide the divas use?

Is Jerry (DOM) Lawler orange because he fell into one of vats peroxide while trying to sneek a peek into the "Diva's" dressing room?

Why did this take three hours?

And last question does anyone else find themselves remembering drafts of the past like when Flair drafted Taker and how well that story angle played out?