As (the real) Opening Day is just around the corner, it is now PSA time.
In an effort to curb the bottle throwing, base coach attacking, and Frankie Francisco chair hurling, we have compiled some general rules of behavior that the average fan should follow.
Now, you hard core fans, continue to be obnoxious.
1.) There will be no WAVE during the game. You block our view enough by getting up every three innings for food. Just sit down, watch the game.
The Wave is never acceptable unless there is a black and white ball rolling on the field...and the stadium is round. The batter's eye cannot do the wave, so you shouldn't either.
2.) Your ticket has a seat number printed on it. Look at it BEFORE you walk down the aisle, memorize it, then proceed to find your seat by matching the aisle, row, and seat numbers.
3.) Typically, there is an aisle on either side of the row. If you are in seat five and you notice that the last seat in the row is 15, go down to the next aisle. Disrupting 10 people is not polite.
4.) The time printed on your ticket is not a suggestion. Be in your seat by first pitch. People who arrive during the fourth or fifth should expect to find their seats filled and their tardiness mocked.
5.) Try clapping and cheering without the help of the scoreboard. Just because it doesn't read "Make Some Noise" doesn't mean you can't.
6.) Standing during the game is only acceptable in rally and game winning situations. Don't yell at me for standing during the last strikeout—some of us want to win the game.
7.) Beach balls are only acceptable if you are in California or if you are playing a Californian team. Dodger fans, now is the time to visit the 99¢ store and stock up.
By following these simple rules, your baseball experience, and that of your neighbors in the stands, will be significantly improved.