If Georgia Bulldogs Basketball Were a Car

If Georgia Bulldogs basketball were a car, it'd be one of those hideous mid-90's Geo Metros that are, for some reason, still on the streets.

No, I take that back.

It be a Geo Metro with a busted taillight that's gotten you pulled over twice.  And it can't pass the emissions inspection.

Georgia basketball is ugly, broken down, has gotten in legal trouble, and wasn't even all the great a few years ago, in its "prime."

Sound much like those Metros?

This article is not about what Jim Harrick's reign did to the UGA program. If you need a history lesson, get on Wikipedia.

Too lazy to do that? I'll sum it up for you: Ever heard the joke about student-athletes' test questions being as easy as "how many halves does a basketball game have?"

Or "how many points to you get for a three-point shot?"

Yeah, UGA professors actually put those, and more puzzlers like them, on tests for Bulldog ballers back in 2003. Needless to say, the NCAA proceeded to tear us to shreds.

Stripped of scholarships and down a decent coach, we basically had to take what we could get afterwards.

You're coaching a mid-major and have shown the slightest glimmer of potential? Welcome aboard, Dennis Felton!

You have a pulse and want to play for us? Suit up!

Obviously, the road back to respectability was going to be long and tough to traverse, but believe it or not, Felton got us back on our feet ahead of schedule.

Searching both near (Channing Toney and Billy Humphrey of suburban Atlanta) and far (Sundiata Gaines of New York, Dave Bliss of Wassau, WI, and Terrance Woodbury of Virginia Beach), the new regime brought in guys who weren't exactly stars, but contributors nonetheless.

In other words, we weren't planning on hanging with Kentucky any time soon, but we at least couldn't be referred to as a "high school squad."

In Felton's first season, 2004-05, the Dawgs went 2-14 in conference play. The next year, they bumped it up to 5-11 and scrapped to the .500 mark (15-15) for the whole season.

Then, in the 2006-07 campaign, led by the blossoming Gaines and Bliss, Georgia struck it even in the SEC, going 8-8, and actually, for a minute, were on "the bubble" for the Dance.

Yes, they ended up in the NIT and lost in the second round, but hey, it was to formerly ranked Air Force. I'm beginning to see the light.

Times were dark. Three Bulldogs got suspended just before the 2007-08 season began: Albert Jackson, Takais Brown, and Mike Mercer.

It was later announced that all three were due to "academic violations": Apparently, these guys hadn't gotten the memo that their tutoring sessions were mandatory.

Funny thing was, A.J. got just six games, T.K. nine, and Dirty Mike a staggering 15. Think they all just missed a lesson?

As it ends up, Brown and Mercer must have been more than just absent from class; they were both dismissed in November, before either had even served part of his suspension. This followed Toney's departure a year earlier, for Alabama-Birmingham.

With the top two scorers of the previous season gone, Georgia understandably struggled.  Ajax came back, but was hobbled and timid; Rashaad Singleton got fed up with his lack of minutes and quit midseason.

Once again, the major lifting was left to Sundiata and Dave, though Woodbury scored in streaks and Jeremy Price surprised as a young big off the bench.

Humphrey got arrested for underage consumption of alcohol and possession of a weapon on campus but was at least on the court enough to prove he was a dangerous outside scorer.

The regular season concluded anticlimactically, the Dawgs having won just four games. But the team went into the SEC Tournament with nothing to lose, and you know what?

They friggin' won the thing. So ridiculously improbable; it was as out-of-place as the hurricane that descended on the hosting Georgia Dome!

Yet somehow, the misfits banded together to claim an automatic tourney bid. Jackson had realized some fire, T-Wood had emerged as a new leader, and...Georgia lost in the first round of the NCAA Tournament to Xavier.

But hey, they sure flashed some potential. Things to build on!

If only.

Billy Humphrey got kicked off the squad in the middle of the summer for another alcohol-related incident. Add to that Gaines' and Bliss' graduations and an injury to stud recruit Howard "Trey" Thompkins and the Dawgs were looking thin well before the season started.

They didn't do the Red and Black so proud in the win column in 2008-09: just three SEC victories (albeit one over Florida). But worse, no player could recapture the emotion of the past spring, and Coach Felton took the fall, getting axed in January.

Assistant Pete Herrmann took over, and UGA at least avoided any more defections or run-ins with the law for the remainder of the season.

That is, until just after the campaign ended; it was recently announced that guards Zac Swansey and Troy Brewer would both be requesting their transfer papers.

As Iron Maiden once said, "Run to the hills!"

All this being said, you know what? I straight-up refuse to be negative for the entirety of this piece.

I can safely say that I love the three rising sophomores this team boasts: the aforementioned Trey, a big with range; Dustin Ware, a speedy and heady point; and Travis Leslie, an athletic wing.

And I can safely say that through all this cleaning up and weeding out, we definitely have our roster whittled down to the character guys. Stand up, Albert, and be counted.

I don't care that the chances of getting Bobby Knight as coach get ridiculously more infinitesimal each day.

We don't need his old butt; the attention we got from him claiming to be "interested" was enough to make people look. We might just strike gold with another dip into the mid-major ranks, or who knows, maybe Jeff Capel is tired of the Sooners.

So look for Daniel Miller and DeMario Mayfield, our signees, to make an impact, and cross your fingers that this group of Dawgs walks the straight line. This might be a bandwagon to hop on...some day.

I mean, the dealership will at least give you a few bucks' trade-in credit for that Metro, right?