The Wrestling Crystal Ball: Will The Rock silence Jericho at Wrestlemania 25?
Please note I am not a psychic, seer, clairvoyant, or Nostradamus.
I am simply The Crystal Ball, and this is how I see the lead up to and how Wrestlemania will go down.
Rumors are all around that Hulk Hogan will be facing someone at Wrestlemania.
Even Hogan himself has been blogging on his Twitter.
I wonder if his Twitter is 24 inches?
Sorry, I couldn't resist that joke... brother...
On Hulkster's Twitter, he states his favorite letters are CJ and JC. Which many are to believe are either Chris Jericho or John Cena.
While I'm sure Vince McMahon still hasn't decided who to put Hogan in with at Wrestlemania yet.
I'm going to have to lean toward Hogan facing Cena.
Raw ended last week, with Lawler saying "I don't even know if Cena is even going to Wrestlemania now"
I can see Cena saying seeing he doesn't have an opponent for Wrestlemania and he wants to challenge the person he keeps hearing he's compared to so much and go old school at Wrestlemania, which will prompt Hogan to come on Raw the following week to answer the challenge.
It would definitely be a fan favorite vs. fan favorite match. Although logistically, it would be kids 12 and under for Cena against Hogan with the 25+ and older crowd of men and woman who were lil' Hulkamaniacs back in the day.
I could only hope for a Cena heel turn though at the end of the match, which to me would make the whole Cena vs. Hogan match worthwhile. If your going to turn Cena heel, what better place and person to do it with then at Wrestlemania with Hulk Hogan.
As far as JBL, here's my prediction: JBL will announce do to his unlimited wealth which for some unknown reason has been unaffected by the failing economy, he has invested in a company from Canada called Clone-Aid, which JBL has given millions of dollars to in the past several years to give him the greatest surprise of all time and the greatest chance at winning the WWE championship ever: JBL will announce he has paid for Andre The Giant to be cloned.
JBL will then bring out the cloned Andre The Giant, which due to Clone-Aids technology has been age progressed to the age of 30. JBL will then announce Andre will be facing either winner of the World Championship matches at Wrestlemania, Either Edge, Big Show, or Triple H or Orton.
Upon beating one of the following "Cloned Andre the Giant tm", will hand over the title to JBL seeing he has been just as bad at winning the title from anyone than Ted DiBiase himself circa 1988.
I see in the Diva's Battle Royal slated for WM 25, a last minute addition being added, who will win it all.
La Parka. Which will stun the fans in attendance and pay per viewers alike.
But at the end of the battle royal, when La Parka wins he will take off his mask only to reveal none other then Amy Dumas, aka Lita.
Upon being asked why Lita disguised herself as La Parka she will explain it's the only way she could get backstage without getting any heat, not to mention she wanted to promote her rock band which has yet to take off after four years, The Luchagores. And one more thing, so she could attend Booker T's Fan Fest the same weekend, incognito.
I predict if Lita doesn't win as La Parka, then Sunny, Trish Stratus, or Mickie James will win.
On to Jericho...
In the coming weeks, Jericho will continue to attack and ridicule wrestling legends.
Some of the following will be Honky Tonk Man, Terry Funk, and Kevin Von Erich.
Who will come out and face Jericho at Wrestlemania, though?
This one is a tricky one, indeed.
As I see into the future, I see several timelines branching off.
One is Steve Austin will come out and attack Jericho.
Another is all the legends will come out at Wrestlemania, led by Mickey Rourke.
Rourke will not actually wrestle, but lead the way, and stand ringside, as a slew of WWE legends beat Jericho to a pulp.
Last but not least, is a shocking scenario.
Jericho's former body guard Ralphus will come out and try and stop Jericho from ridiculing anymore legends.
Jericho will laugh at Ralphus and say something like the following:
"Ralphus you are a leech and hanger on, much like the fans here. That's why I kicked you to the curb A-long time ago. You were holding me back just like these fans here were holding me back. I gave you a job, when I found you, you were a pathetic truck driver. And then I gave you the greatest job ever. My body guard. And it went to your head being my bodyguard. You pandered to these fans, just to placate your ego.
Ralphus I thought you were dead. What Rock did you climb out from under?"
Ralphus will respond with his toothless slurred speech and say..."This Rock"
"The Rock Says" song blares though the stadium.
Yes it's none other then Dwayne Johnson.
The fans erupt.
Dwayne Johnson makes his way to the ring to a deafening crowd.
Jericho looks on with disbelief.
Dwayne looks around with his cheesy smile at all the fans.
Jericho begins to talk.
"You know Dwayne (mocking his name) I used to respect you, I really did.
Until of course, I beat you and Steve Austin in the same night to become the undisputed champion.
But see something happened A-long the way.
You realized I was better than you in every way, and you couldn't stand it could you Dwaaayne? So what did you go and do? You packed up your boots, and took off and left wrestling to become a big Hollywood star. Isn't that right, Dwanye?
Because you knew as long as I was around you would never...eeeeeeever, be as good as me.
See but I proved even more, Dwayne. I, too, went to Hollywood, I did acting, I did "Celebrity Duets," I wrote a book. I showed that not only can I beat you in Hollywood, I can and will always beat you in the ring.
Dwayne interrupts... "No, no Chris, that's great and all. You've really made something of yourself. (rolls eyes) Who did you sing with on the show 'Celebrity Duets' again, anyway?"
Chris is about to talk
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO IT WAS"
fans go nuts
"You know that's cute and all Dwayne. I see your still pandering to these morons.
Still using catchphrases. What were they again. "Do you smell what.. oh that's right it's Dwayne Johnson now.
"Do you smell what Dwayne Johnson is cooking"... "You jabroni" " You roody poo candy ass" "I'm allergic to cinnamon" "You know Mars, take me to your leader.. uhhh eeeer"
Yeah Dwayne we all know them.
Dwayne get's serious and stops smiling
"You know Chris, let's cut to the chase, I'm here for one thing.
I've seen the way you've been treating the legends of the WWE lately.
And quite frankly I'm sick of it.
See I happen to be from a family of second-generation wrestlers.
And I know what it means to these legends. I know what it means to give it all to this business.
These legends aren't broken down has been's, they live and breathe this business every single day"
Jericho interrupts again.
"Cut the crap Johnson, you are the biggest hypocrite around. You don't think any of the fans actually believe your crap, do you?
You have no idea what it's like to be these washed up has been legends, who sell themselves so they can make a quick buck at a high school gym. No see Dwayne, you are the biggest hypocrite of all.
You don't care about this business.
And you have no idea what it's like to be down and out like any of these legends.
You used wrestling to go onto bigger things Dwayne.
Everybody knows it.
I know it, the fans know it, your ex wife knows it"
Dwayne Johnson hits Jericho.
Dwayne Johnson starts beating up Jericho.
All of a sudden all the legends that Jericho beat up every week rush to the ring.
The fans are going nuts.
Dwayne Johnson smiles at the legends and motions them to come in and help take turns at beating up Chris Jericho.
All the legends come in.
Ricky Steamboat, Jimmy Snuka, Roddy Piper, so on and so on..
Roddy Piper picks up a mic.
as all the legends stand behind Dwayne
"You know Dwayne, I've known you for a long time"
"Hell I've known you since you were known as "The Pebble" huh huh"
I've seen you grow up being around this business.
Your Dad, your dad Rocky Johnson was a great wrestler, great guy around the locker room. and your granddad, hell he was a Jimmy Snuka before there was a Jimmy Snuka.
"But the thing is.. the thing is Dwayne, is you turned your back on the business that made you and your not one of us.... get em boys"
All the WWE Legends beat up Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
The fans erupt.
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