The Most Awkward Celebrations in Sports
When the feeling of victory floods an athlete's veins, rule books and bottles of popped champagne are tossed from his repertoire (just ask Gregory House). During this emotional breakdown, he will suppress appropriateness and embrace creativity as he prepares for what he expects to be the world's greatest display of passion. Or so he thinks...
A celebration is no simple piece of art. It requires patience, a crafty approach and sometimes a sharpie. But for the fine gentleman we're about to meet, a slight slip on the steps to a winning masterpiece cut their historic run short.
As they rumbled, fumbled and tumbled their way toward wince-worthy notoriety, these competitors quickly realized that memories aren't always memorable.
Let's take a look at the most awkward celebrations in sports, in which epic failure clouded brilliant achievement.
Prepare yourselves for a melting pot of emotions.
20. The 'Bama Bump
Forget the cliched Yolo phenomenon, leave nothing behind is this Alabama duo's main motto.
One teammate leaps for what he believes will be another harmless chest bump, while his teammate attempts to procreate. Speechless moments.
19. Introducing Marky Mark Madsen
First let's appreciate Rick Fox's background bro-ness. Shades, backward snapback and puffs of permed hair escaping the sides. Awesome.
The rest is on the man, the legend, Mark. The white-man overbite perfected.
18. Waving the Flag
Rarely are the words admirable, awkward and awesome entangled in the same discussion, but the American women's soccer team somehow managed to make it happen.
Great goal, epic smiles, wavy finish.
17. A Caddy's Cadillac
Entering the par-3 15th hole of this year's WGC-Cadillac Championships, English golfer Paul Casey promised caddie Craig Connelly that they'd split the Cadillac seen eloquently gracing the green behind the tee box if he hit the hole-in-one.
And of course he hit it, the caddie nicknamed "Wee Man" immediately seen jumping around like he's at a House of Pain concert.
Unfortunately, the Cadillac was for hole 13. Fail permanently ingrained.
16. The Whirl of the Squirrel
It's been called the squirrel, but Kelly Washington's hipster remix of Cyndi Lauper's most beloved single seems more in tune with a rambunctious horse.
On second thought, this pompous prance would be the perfect complement to Dave Chappelle's Samuel Jackson Beer commercial. Take a look.
15. Crouching Footballer, Hidden Robot
This intriguing compilation offers us exactly what we yearn for when watching Stoke City striker Peter Crouch.
A stoked bloke with a stroked toke at madness. Say that five times fast...
14. The Life and Times of Khalid Askri
As he proudly chest-pumps his way toward the stands, it becomes clear that Moroccan goalie Khalid Askri's fate is being scripted in a different manner than he once envisioned.
Rather than a dramatic, tear-jerking documentary about a legendary footballer, Askri's career has become a classic comedy about the imperfections of a distracted goaltender.
He would be back for an encore.
13. Gus Frerotte's Heady Approach
After crossing the pylon unscathed, a fired up Gus Frerotte decided to live dangerously.
At least he's doing better than Owen Schmitt of the Seahawks.
12. Disaster Strikes Thrice
Wide-open touchdown run? Check.
Spike to testicles? Check.
Resulting punch to face from opponent? Check.
Tumble into a different opponent's knee caps? Check.
Disturbed referee? Priceless.
11. Gary Neal Kneeling in Defeat
There's failure and there's brilliant humor. This scrapes both extremes.
Spurs guard Gary Neal rarely hogs the spotlight, but when he does he makes sure to deliver.
10. Joakim Noah It All
Ladies and gentleman, Joakim Noah.
The ponytail and toothed gap almost make us believe the former Gator is an actual rock star.
But during his SEC crown celebration in 2007, Noah resembled the eccentric pilgrim who enjoyed the first bite of cooked turkey. We haven't even approached the mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce yet.
9. West Coast Roasting
An exciting, heart-warming celebration from Darnell Dockett and his Arizona teammates quickly becomes disaster as a jealous referee attempts to join in.
Perhaps he should re-read the celebration handbook. Crotch grabs were tossed from the menu in '81, let's keep up with the times please.
8. Kicking and Screaming
First quarter, 7:43 left, 0-0 score, fans obviously clinging to the edge of their seats. And he hits it!
Kicker Bill Gramatica hits the most epic, the most animated, the most ridiculous 43-yard field goal in history before his knee completely shuts down.
It became one of those "save yourself!" moments as Gramatica faded slowly toward the ground. A story of true heroism.
7. The Art of Golf
Minnesota's Tom Lehman and Germany's Bernhard Langer collide for arguably the most confusing victory bump we've seen since Andy Reid merged with DeSean Jackson back in '09.
A roller-coaster ride starting with a semi-bump-high-five immediately crumbles before our eyes. Breathtaking footage.
6. Getting Down with Al
Charismatic former Marquette coach Al McGuire will forever be remembered for his historic broadcast of the 1996 NCAA Regional Championship, when his hips uncontrollably broke it down with Syracuse players after they secured a spot in the Final Four.
Early optimism turns to utter failure as McGuire quickly becomes that crazy bridesmaid who's had four too many Appletinis.
5. Yao Ming's Destiny
While stocked with fashion ideas and culinary traditions, westernization was bereft of a high-five handbook for all those hoping to master the art of colliding hands.
A brief memo describing the phenomenon was all that survived, and this was the result.
4. Francisco Gallardo Embraces the Moment
Let's stick to hand slaps and rear rumps please, this is just slightly out of line.
A screeching finish for this lovely couple.
3. Breaking Tradition
It's been said that two is always better than one. Do with that what you will.
Like a 10-year-old who's just broken his new toy, Spokane Chiefs captain Chris Bruton is first frozen with shock and then quick to reassemble.
Luckily, the real Memorial Cup is safe and sound in the Hockey Hall of Fame. #noexcuses.
2. David Krejci's Victory Surprise
Following his team's epic overtime win in Game 1 of this past season's Eastern Conference quarterfinals against the Washington Capitals, Bruins center David Krejci received easily the most crushing hit of the night.
As the Czech skater recovers, we continue to wait on an expected suspension for the glass.
1. Pete Weber's Strike to Claim It
Who do you think you are...I am.
Victory in the ruthless and hard-hitting sport of bowling is similar to the first bite of an avocado...it's amazing but you're not really sure why.
Pete Weber simply added some balsamic vinegar and a hefty touch of salt.
Follow me on Twitter for more in swaggerous sports. Follow @z_pumerantz