The professional wrestling industry has no shortage on the embittered and rant-happy. Sure, it can be an ugly business with unhappy endings, and those who choose to sound off about its pitfalls have every right to be heard. But there eventually comes a time where it becomes necessary to move on.
Maria Kanellis is the cutest troll on the Internet. It's difficult to discern what breed she is, given her uncharacteristically good looks for a troll, but one's best bet would be bitter.
The once-relevant former WWE Diva is telling anybody willing to listen that The Bella Twins took her job. All she's doing is playing up the characters that the Bellas—Brie and Nikki—portray on their new hit show, Total Divas. The E! Network presents the Bellas as self-absorbed, conniving starlets who are uninterested in sharing their spotlight with anybody.
Unbeknownst to Kanellis, she's adding a veil of legitimacy to their brand.
It all started in 2011 when Kanellis implied that the pair shared a hot tub with then-VP of Talent Relations John Laurinaitis.
Kanellis' unemployment-line jabs continued on the AfterBuzz TV show when she used a segue to infer that the Bellas had labiagytis. When the diagnosis insults start up, that's when stuff starts getting real.
Earlier this month, Kanellis continued her one-way feud with the Bellas when she fired off this tweet:
I was offered a @wwe contract and the Bellas made sure I didn't get it. I'm not bitter. I just don't like people that mess with my career.— Maria Kanellis (@MariaLKanellis) July 9, 2013
Ah yes, the infamous "I'm not bitter" disclaimer. How could anyone confuse the rapid-fire cheap shots, thinly veiled accusations or abject scandal-mongering with bitterness?
Kanellis' window to reappear in headlines came during the aforementioned Total Divas program. Kanellis followed the Bellas shot-for-shot, tweeting her displeasure with every frame they appeared in.
I will be live tweeting during @TotalDivasE I love watching women beg for a ring. Haha...— Maria Kanellis (@MariaLKanellis) July 26, 2013
Hahahaha ha!!!! The Bellas are vets?— Maria Kanellis (@MariaLKanellis) July 29, 2013
Every time the Bellas say they are vets it makes me want to vomit! #askfirstladymaria— Maria Kanellis (@MariaLKanellis) July 29, 2013
Awwwww poor Bellas. Kharma is a bitch. @TotalDivasE but I feel bad for the Funkadactyls.— Maria Kanellis (@MariaLKanellis) July 29, 2013
Kanellis' misguided anger is a byproduct of Vince McMahon's almost defining ability to brainwash. During a YouShoot interview following her release, Kanellis came off as intelligent and innovative. But when it came to discussing why she is no longer with the WWE, she became naive.
She seemed to feel that John Laurinaitis was solely responsible for her exit and refused to make any negative remarks toward the McMahon family. She glowed with admiration as she discussed Vince McMahon writing her a goodbye letter upon exiting. Never had a pink slip seemed so charming.
In reality, no major decision of hiring or firing goes through the WWE corporate offices without Vince McMahon's exuberant stamp of approval.
If the McMahons loved Kanellis as much as she felt they did, she wouldn't be desperately fighting off obscurity on Twitter.
Her so-called rivals wouldn't be preening at the top of the WWE Diva hierarchy. And Kanellis would have been included in that recent WWE Diva poll, which seemed like a passive-aggressive shot at Kanellis by the WWE based on its timing.
always have Ring of Honor to simulate her days in the limelight. As she continues to fight her war, continued accusations of job-blocking will fall on deaf ears. Her platform will keep shrinking. Each taunt will come one taunt closer to dementia.
She will go quietly into the night. She has no other choice.
#STHU: Chavo Guerrero | Gail Kim | Matt Hardy |
Chris Jericho | Chyna | WWE-Twitter | CM Punk | WWE Turkeys | Nash-Warrior | Madusa | Anonymous Bottom Feeder | Sheamus-Bryan Complainers | Jillian Hall | PWI 500 | Montreal Screw Job | Shawn Michaels-Wrestling Fanatics | Maria Kanellis