WWE Opinion: Madusa Demands a Match with Beth Phoenix, Please Shut the Hell Up

Alfred KonuwaFeatured ColumnistFebruary 8, 2012

The professional wrestling industry has no shortage on the embittered and rant-happy. Sure, it can be an ugly business with unhappy endings, and those who choose to sound off about its pitfalls have every right to be heard. But there eventually comes a time where it becomes necessary to move on.

When I see fit, I will single out those who have abused their piss-and-moan privileges and request that they cease all complaints and/or diatribes and live what's left of their lives. Taking cues from an old Chris Jericho catchphrase, I implore you—the disillusioned wrestling personality—to please shut the hell up.

Disclaimer: For those if you who suggest I turn the other cheek and ignore subjects of #STHU articles rather than write about them, this read is not for you.  In case you haven't noticed, I'm not in the 'ignore developing stories' business.

Former WWE Women's Champion Madusa—known during her WWF days by the moniker Alundra Blayze—still feels she has something left to give the wrestling business (in addition to the WWF Championship she infamously took with her when she left for WCW).  Unfortunately, the WWE wants no part of it. 

I almost feel bad about doing this to such an elder stateswoman of professional wrestling.  One doesn't have to be a boy scout to know the true, warmhearted value in helping an old lady cross the street.  Now here I am, throwing one under the bus.  BSA Troop 31 isn't going to be very pleased with this. 

But Madusa isn't your typical old lady.  At 47, the well-traveled and decorated former champion is closer to being a cougar than a grandmother.  And while she remains in great physical condition, any possibility of an in-ring return with the WWE seems to be more unlikely with every aging day that goes by. 

Despite a career filled with accolades and championships, Madusa will forever be remembered for her role in the Monday Night Wars between WWE and WCW that fired off one of the first shots in a high-stakes battle for pro wrestling ratings supremacy. 

Debuting with WCW in 1995, the former three-time WWF Women's Champion memorably stormed the announcer's set and unceremoniously dumped the WWF Women's Championship in a trash can. 

And while Madusa has admittedly regretted the incident, she has never seemed to find her way back to the WWE since the WCW went belly-up in 2001. 

Now, reinvigorated by lord-knows-what, Madusa has once again conveniently chosen WrestleMania season to make waves as far as a potential return is concerned. 

Madusa's seemingly delusional campaign to return to the WWE has been an ongoing affair for close to a year now.  Last February, she called out then-WWE Divas Champion Michelle McCool on her official website:

“Who ever the champion is will be the one I have an angle with or create an angle to make a new champion.. or as a tag partner…. miss McCool….”

Of course, Madusa's challenges were ignored by anyone of note, and her plans for a return to the WWE did not come to fruition.  Fast forward one year later, and nothing has really changed.  Madusa still wants to return, she's still blurting out challenges with dead championship in tow, but the name has now changed from Michele McCool to Beth Phoenix.

Madusa still plays with her toy belt on occasion, and even tweeted an image of herself wearing said belt in an effort to taunt Beth Phoenix.  

Phoenix actually responded to this particular challenge without mentioning Madusa by name, but not much else was made of the incident. 

Madusa continued her social-media campaign for one more match, which sounds more and more like a cry for help, with this tweet

"Bite me, pull my hair, whip me w/ the strap but make damn sure @TheBethPhoenix u fight like a champ and not a p---y diva!!"

This sounds like a challenge more befitting of adult film star Phoenix Marie rather than Beth Phoenix.  Perhaps cyber-bullying lessons from Michael Cole may be in order.  

As Madusa continues to clamor for a challenge that is far from a dream match in the eyes of the current WWE fanbase, she needs to consider a few things:

A. Most WWE fans of today think Madusa is a ride at Six Flags.

B. The WWE rarely, if ever, makes out-of-house accommodations for a Divas match (like they're doing by bringing in the Rock to face Cena) as the depleted division usually has to just work with what they got, which isn't much, and

C. Kharma and Beth Phoenix is quite possibly the only money Divas match currently in the WWE, with Natalya-Phoenix a distant second sure to be given away on free TV regardless. 

It's hard to imagine Madusa wrestling in the WWE during any year that has a two in front of it.  She would certainly be deserving of a Hall of Fame induction, given her career as a world-renowned performer and also given some of the trash in which WWE has let walk into their Hall of Fame wings—pun intended. 

But for now, Madusa is better suited waiting for the potential call rather than make fruitless attempts to defend a belt that may as well be sold either on ebay or a Nordstrom's clearance rack.

#STHU: Chavo Guerrero | Gail Kim | Matt Hardy | Chris Jericho | Chyna | WWE-Twitter | CM Punk | WWE Turkeys | Nash-Warrior | Madusa

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