They're professional athletes, so in general, their lives are probably better than yours. But these guys have especially cooler lives.
When you're an athlete, everyone just automatically wants to hang out with you. You walk into a bar, or a birthday party or a DMV, and you are the man. This isn't like a One Direction type of situation where the girls may be happy to see you but the guys hate you and will let you have it; mostly, everyone is happy to see you, no matter where you are.
These people make the best with what they have, and what they have is a lot. Fame. Money. Championships (in most cases). They have everything, and they're having a blast.
So let's all just be jealous together.
Conference title on the line? March Madness on the horizon? Who cares? There is always time for a good game of beer pong, even if you're one of the guys who's actually supposed to be on the court rather than in the student section.
Clearly, Shabazz Muhammad knows how to have a good time. The UCLA one-and-done and current member of the Minnesota Timberwolves was spotted engaging in a friendly game of beer pong with his head coach last March, even though he had a big game to play the next day against Pac-12 rival Arizona.
In retrospect, perhaps Muhammad & Co. should've laid off the drinking games: They did manage to beat the Wildcats the day after the above viral photo was taken, but they bowed out to 11th-seeded Minnesota in the first round of the NCAA tournament.
But hey, at least they had a good time!
It must be nice to be Chris Paul. Whatever Chris Paul wants, he receives.
The Clippers guard, for the past two years, has been heralded as the savior of the Lakers' redheaded stepsister. In fact, he has turned that redheaded stepsister into a burgeoning competitor—but he still has more work to do in order to get a ring, and he can't do it alone.
That's why he demanded that the management get him a coach who could help him get the job done. Paul asked for Doc Rivers, and a few weeks later, what do you know? He got Doc Rivers. As a wise man once said, no one man should have all that power—unless, apparently, you're Chris Paul.
Wonder what he'll ask for next?
Like Kobe, Kevin Durant's experience this postseason was not what he expected. Once his wingman Russell Westbrook went down, the Oklahoma City Thunder were as good as done and Durant went home without a ring once again.
But this summer, everyone Durant has faced on the court has been paying for it. Durant has spent the last few months dunking. On everyone.
To be fair, Victor Oladipo did return the favor in Washington D.C. But destroying amateur competition is definitely one way to rediscover the joy of the game.
She may have sprained her MCL earlier this month, but life is still pretty swell for Alex Morgan.
In fact, life has been swell for her ever since her meteoric rise to fame during last year's Olympic Games in London. The forward for the U.S. national team and Portland Thorns FC is universally beloved, partly because of her girl-next-doorness and partly because of her game-winning goal in extra time against Canada, which propelled the Americans to the gold medal match against Japan.
No, Kobe Bryant's 2012-13 season didn't quite end in the blaze of glory many of us were expecting when we heard Steve Nash and Dwight Howard would be joining him in L.A. But has he let that dampen his spirits? Absolutely not.
Since his season ended with an Achilles injury on April 13, Bryant has been making the most of his summer. Between his wife's birthday and random house parties in L.A. to which Matt Leinart was somehow also invited, he has been living it up.
Plus, the fact that he's allegedly "shattering" the recovery timetable is making it easy to ignore the partying.
Last October, he got a World Series ring despite the fact that he didn't really do anything except sit in the bullpen and chew gum.
This August, he got to join a World Series contender right as it was in the midst of one of the most remarkable runs in baseball history.
Life is sweet for Brian Wilson.
Once one of the most feared closers in the league, Wilson has been hindered by injuries since April 2012. The Giants didn't resign him after they won it all, so a few weeks ago, he signed a one-year, $1 million deal with the L.A. Dodgers. In his first appearance, he preserved yet another win for the hottest team in baseball, throwing a scoreless inning.
Getting to ride along with a contender for the final stretch of the season is pretty sweet. Meanwhile, he's also getting offers of $1 million to shave his trademark beard. Must be nice to be him these days.
Who cares about winning majors?
Not these guys, apparently.
To be fair, the Golf Boys—otherwise known as Ben Crane, Bubba Watson, Rickie Fowler and Hunter Mahan—have some admirable feats among them, most notably, Watson's Green Jacket, earned in 2012. But these guys aren't going to cry about missing a cut or finishing dead last. They're just going to use the power of music to carry on with their lives and feel the joy.
The Golf Boys released their first and most epic rap video in 2011 (above). In March of this year, they followed it up with their sophomore effort, "2.Oh," which is every bit as enjoyable.
And just in case you try to hate on them, they're making these videos to benefit charity: water. So they're raging for a good cause. You have to love it.
So what do you do if your team—which has always been wary of your tendency to party hard and simultaneously poop the bed in the playoffs—decides to finally pull the trigger and trade you to a team that is more equipped to deal with your nonsense?
Obviously, you throw a rager to celebrate it.
Tyler Seguin may have been a certified failure with the Boston Bruins. He may need his parents to come to his rescue when the big, bad national media comes calling. But by God, he will still have a good time. Seguin—who made more headlines for his partying this summer than for helping the Bruins advance to the Stanley Cup Finals—celebrated his trade to the Dallas Stars by throwing a "trade party" on the Cape.
Say whatever you want about him, but without a doubt, that party was awesome.
And hey, if the Dallas Stars want to inherit the headache he will become, more power to him. At least some team still wants to take on him and his outrageous salary.
While Johnny Manziel continues to find new and unforeseen ways to incite the masses each and every week, one of his SEC comrades has slowly but surely become the most popular player in the world of college football.
Can life get any better for South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney right now? Barring disaster, he is essentially assured of being the No. 1 overall selection in the 2014 NFL draft. He's stayed out of trouble off the field. He's beloved by friends and foes for his freakish athleticism and his ability to deliver the big hit.
He is the subject of SportsCenter spoofs and glowing New York Times profiles. Everyone knows his name and respects his talent. And he has an ESPY now, too. Less than a year from now, he's going to be making millions of dollars playing on Sundays instead of Saturdays.
Yes, life is pretty good for Jadeveon Clowney right now.
One way or another, perpetually hindered Red Sox infielder Mike Napoli has something going on with porn star Rachel Starr. The nature of their relationship is unclear, but there is something.
I'm not quite sure how this works. Do Napoli's fellow males think he's the man for…hanging out with a porn star? Or do they think he's kind of pathetic and gross?
Regardless of the way in which Napoli's reputation may or may not have skyrocketed or suffered in light of the fact that he invited a porn star to his game against the San Francisco Giants last week, he's probably having a grand old time. Perhaps he wanted to keep his exploits under the radar, but unfortunately for him, Starr tweeted out this photo at the beginning of the game:
(BTW, um…don't click on her Twitter profile if you're at work.)
This year could have been simple for Johnny Manziel. All he had to do were a few simple things:
If he completed all of those tasks, Manziel could have breezed through another season as the toast of College Station, Texas. He potentially could have led Texas A&M to the national championship. Maybe he still will—who knows?—but considering he's dealing with a potential NCAA rules violation and the fallout that comes with establishing a reputation for yourself as a college kid who would rather party than anything else, it's going to be significantly harder.
But know this: At least Johnny Manziel is having a blast doing everything he's not supposed to be doing. Thanks to the wonders of social media, Manziel has been utterly unable to be a normal college kid and go out and party in anonymity while the NCAA decides his fate, so he's just saying, Whatever, and doing it anyway.
And know this, too: If he feels like dressing like Tim Tebow while he rages, he will dress like Tim Tebow.
Here's the difference between Tyler Seguin and Patrick Kane: one ring.
Because Kane managed to wake himself up midway through the 2013 Stanley Cup Finals and play like he actually wanted to win—and then did win—nobody cares how much he embarrasses himself with his partying. He's 24 and he's already hoisted the Cup twice (whereas Seguin has only done it once). He has earned the right to do whatever he wants.
And so he does. In light of this year's championship, nobody's talking about this anymore, and even when Kane does something like…oh, I don't know…wear a unicorn head during a bar crawl and douse his fellow patrons in champagne, it's funny rather than horrifying.
When you're at the point where you're wearing a unicorn head at a bar, one thing is for certain: You are loving life.
Being LeBron James might not get you out of jury duty, but other than that, things have been going swimmingly for the four-time MVP since he and the Miami Heat won their second straight NBA championship a couple of months ago.
As expected, LeBron made the most of his post-championship celebration, allegedly staying out with Dwyane Wade until 5:30 a.m. Naturally, Drake was there too because why not?
Shortly after complaining about the fact that he can't go out without inciting riots, LeBron got right back to it, spending some quality time with the hottest team in baseball and offering them some of his championship juju. According to Fox Sports, some select members of the L.A. Dodgers celebrated the conclusion of their 10-game winning streak by partying with LeBron in South Beach.
Speaking of Dodgers stars…
Life doesn't really get any better than what Yasiel Puig currently has going on.
While half of the baseball-loving universe continues to bemoan the escapades of Alex Rodriguez, Puig represents the other side of the spectrum. At 22 years old, his MLB career is just beginning, and it is beginning with a bang. His arrival in the majors sparked the once-horrendous Dodgers, who have somehow won an astounding 46 of 56 games since the All-Star break.
Puig made the team go from a bottom-dweller to a World Series favorite in the span of a couple of months, so even though he does some things that annoy other players and shows up where he wants, when he wants, he can get away with it.
And plus, on top of being the 2013 rookie sensation, he gets to party with LeBron. So that's pretty cool.
Rob Gronkowski's ability to have a good time has never, at any point, been in question. In fact, up until his fellow starting tight end allegedly murdered a guy, Gronk was maligned for his ability to have a good time.
Now, not so much.
Gronk is never too sad to party. His team loses the Super Bowl in devastating fashion? No big deal. Gronk will still dance with his shirt off. He breaks his forearm, thereby eliminating himself from the playoffs? He will still use his broken forearm to smack the floor during "a simulated wrestling match" in Las Vegas.
They say that the best athletes are the ones who just do their thing without thinking about it too much. If that's true, Gronk will be just fine.