As the offseason progresses, the murmurs of NFL trade rumors have begun to rise to the surface. Fans attempt to fill the void of a football-less existence by dreaming up scenarios for their teams to land today's stars.
However, this is the NFL. Legitimate big-name trades are few and far between.
As much fun as the following trades would be, they're just not going to happen.
A quick aside is required before the main attraction.
Peyton Manning is not going to be traded.
The Indianapolis Colts would have to pay Peyton a $28 million bonus on Mar. 8 to keep him on the roster. That would be extremely foolhardy.
Additionally, no other team is going to risk that amount of cash and cap space for an unknown quantity.
If Manning is healthy, he will play somewhere. It just won't be the result of a trade.
The Chicago Bears have been attempting to deal with the disgruntled linebacker for years. Unfortunately, Lance Briggs hasn't been able to reach an acceptable arrangement with the only franchise he has known.
Briggs requested a trade prior to the season, but the demand has yet to be honored. The Bears' inactivity hasn't stopped the rumor mill from picking up steam.
The latest buzz has the former All-Pro headed to the New England Patriots.
The Bears should listen to any offer from Bill Belichick, since the Pats have numerous draft picks that would entice any team.
However, New England isn't going to offer any of them.
Briggs is a 31-year-old run stopper who failed to notch a single sack this past season. The lack of pass-rushing stats could be due to the scheme, but any NFL team would exploit such a talent if present.
The Patriots have little difficulty stuffing the running game. Their biggest need is creating quarterback pressure and Briggs is not the answer.
There is a tsunami of hype surrounding Robert Griffin III's ultimate destination. One omnipresent rumor has the Heisman winner going to the Washington Redskins via a trade with the St. Louis Rams.
This exchange will not occur.
Mike Shanahan is entering his third year at the helm of the Redskins. If his team's record doesn't substantially improve this year, Daniel Snyder will hand him a pink slip.
Snyder did not arrive at his current station in life by being passive. He might have learned that his previous splurging strategy wasn't working, but his patience has been rewarded with a 11-21 record.
Time is running out for Shanahan. Attempting to right the ship in a rookie quarterback's debut year is rarely a recipe for success.
Rumors have begun to swirl that the New York Jets will be looking to unload their disgruntled wideout.
The Jets are not wealthy in terms of pass catchers. Therefore, Santonio Holmes is not going anywhere.
Trading their only true receiving threat would sink any chance the franchise has of saving Mark Sanchez's career. If the young quarterback fails to progress in 2012, this trade option becomes much more viable.
In addition, the only thing Rex Ryan really has going for him right now is that he is known for standing behind his players. He can't afford to make such a subversive move with the locker room in its current state.
Lastly, the team has stated publicly that it is keeping him. Yet proclamations of that nature should always be taken with a grain of salt.
The Detroit Lions almost traded for Asante Samuel last season. While Detroit fans would love to see Samuel in Honolulu blue, it will not happen.
The main reason is simply that the Lions cannot afford him. Samuel will account for $9.5 million against the cap in 2012.
Detroit is already solidly against the cap ceiling with players like Cliff Avril, Stephen Tulloch and Jeff Backus still unsigned. Additionally, Calvin Johnson's deal still needs to be figured out, since his cap number is currently $22 million.
There is just no way the Lions can make this deal work.
The Lions could certainly use a cornerback of Asante's caliber. Unfortunately, they will have to gamble in the draft to realize that dream.
Brandon Marshall dominated the Pro Bowl with six catches for 176 yards and four touchdowns. The competition may not have been stiff, but it stirred up a frenzy among the Chicago Bears faithful.
The Bears fans' excitement is warranted considering Marshall and Jay Cutler worked well while both were Denver Broncos. The Pro Bowl MVP would certainly create a necessary, new dynamic for the Chicago offense.
However, the Miami Dolphins are not going to part with Marshall for whatever the Bears offer.
Chicago gave up two first-round picks and another third-rounder to get Cutler. The defense is aging quickly and needs to be restocked with cheap, young talent.
Thus, the Bears are not going to be able to offer enough to the Dolphins to make it worthwhile.
Maybe Terrell Owens is still available?