NBA All-Weirdo Team: Roster of the Best Bizarre Players in League History
The thought of not having any NBA action this year is both frustrating and surreal. The players and owners are set to continue negotiations today, but with little progress made to this point, things are not looking good.
As we enter some kind of NBA bizarro world, let's take some time look at some of the most bizarre individual players in league history. I'm not basing this roster solely on weirdness. Rather, this is an endeavor to present a roster of the most talented weirdos the game has ever seen.
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PG: Stephon Marbury
Although he'd almost certainly prove cancerous to this unit's chemistry, Marbury's combination of weirdness (check the video) and natural talent (think early 2000s) land him a spot in the All-Weirdo starting lineup.
Starbury (which is both a personal moniker and the name of an infamous shoe whose logo is tattooed on the side of Marbury's dome) recently added to his legacy by saying that Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire couldn't handle balling overseas.
SG: Latrell Sprewell
Unfortunately, this four-time All-Star is more famous for choking a former coach, giving us the DADA Spinners and keeping us apprised of his various financial difficulties.
SF: Metta World Peace
Do I really need to explain the presence of Ron Artest (or Metta World Peace) on this list? He's not only one of the strangest players in NBA history, he's one of the strangest athletes in the history of professional sports.
Once upon a time, he could really play basketball, too. He's a passable perimeter defender now, but was arguably the best in the league five or six years ago.
PF: Dennis Rodman
The most underrated aspect of Dennis Rodman's career? His performance opposite Jean-Claude Van Damme in the 1997 classic Double Team. His work with Eric Bischoff in the glory days of WCW wasn't bad, either.
As far as weirdness goes, he needs less of an explanation that Artest. In terms of basketball, he's the greatest rebounder of all time.
C: Bill Walton
I so desperately want Bill Walton to return to the announcer's table for a national network (preferably to Turner Sports, which is vastly superior to ESPN's coverage of the NBA). His comments are the epitome class, accuracy and inspiration in broadcasting.
As a basketball player, he was undoubtedly one of the greatest centers of all-time when he was healthy. But the game wasn't his only passion. As evidenced by his appearance as a member of the Blazers, Walton may have been something of a hippie.
Backup PG: Sam Cassell
Cassell was once a third of one of the league's most effective weird trios. He and Latrell Sprewell made this squad, while big man Kevin Garnett just barely missed (just a little too much of a fake tough guy).
Even if Cassell was perfectly normal, his extra-terrestrialish appearance would put him in the running for this position. He sealed his fate when he performed the dreaded big balls dance in the middle of a game.
Backup SG: Delonte West
West is still a couple years shy of his 30th birthday, but he's already compiled an impressive resume of bizarreness.
Of course, there's the whole controversy about West and LeBron James' mother. Just as crazy to me are the gun charges he faced in 2009.
West was pulled over for speeding on his motorcycle while carrying two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun in a guitar case. Who knows where he was headed.
Backup SF: Adam Morrison
Adam Morrison could have been a much better NBA player than we give him credit for. Go ahead and let me have it in the comments section.
His numbers in his first season were very good for a rookie. Unfortunately, he had to deal with a bad injury and a new coach in Larry Brown, who clearly didn't want him around over the next couple years of his career.
He makes this team because he's weird (and that has nothing to do with the incredible mustache he used to rock).
Backup C: Darryl Dawkins
Darryl Dawkins not only shattered backboards, he claimed to be an alien from the planet Lovetron.
Utility: Cherokee Parks
I couldn't decide between Cherokee Parks and Scot Pollard for this one. Every team needs a big man who can come in and commit a few fouls, right?
Enforcer: Robert Swift
Anyone still waiting for Swifty's career to take off?