Forecasting The Browns Season: Cloudy With a Chance Of Misery

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Forecasting The Browns Season: Cloudy With a Chance Of Misery
(Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

The Browns season may have reached it’s brightest point at halftime of week one. They led the tough Minnesota Vikings 13-10 and looked as if they might actually steal one from one of the top NFC contenders.

Since then the Browns have gone on to be outscored 51-13 and now sit at 0-2 and facing the possible scenario of being 0-8 heading into their bye week.

Here’s a breakdown of the Brown’s schedule from here on out and when/if they’ll get their first win.

 

Game 3: @ Baltimore

Tough game on the road for a team still searching for an identity on both sides of the ball. The Ravens secondary has been uncharacteristically weak, but does Quinn have the tools to take advantage of it?

This game has the makings of 31-3 heading to the 4th quarter, and we both know who has the 31.

 

Game 4: Cincinnati

A winnable game comes in week 4 but can the Browns take advantage? The Bengals have run the ball well so far and the Browns haven’t been able to stop the run. The passing game for each team hasn’t been impressive but any advantage would have to be with the Bengals there as well.

Now I know this game is in Cleveland but if the Bengals can score on the Packers in Green Bay, they’re going to be able to put up points on the Browns. Say hello to 0-4.

 

Game 5: @ Buffalo

For week five the Browns travel to the God forsaken city of Buffalo. The Bills appear to be a legitimate playoff contender with a suddenly dynamic offense and “good enough” defense. The Browns have neither and will be staring 0-5 right in the face.

 

Game 6: @ Pittsburgh

Winless and in Pittsburgh is no way to enter week 6 but the Brownies are going to try it anyway. Is a breakdown (albeit a hap hazard one) for this game even necessary? The Browns haven’t beat the Steelers since Geroge Washington planted the cherry tree that he eventually chopped down, and this won’t be the game they change that.

 

Game 7: Green Bay

Alright, at 0-6 Cleveland returns home to face Green Bay and their still developing 3-4 defense. Green Bay makes up for their defense with a dangerous offense led by Aaron Rogers. By this point there will be a new QB in Cleveland and it’ll be the one who should have been starting all along.

The Browns will keep it close and could steal it, but with not enough weapons to keep up all eyes will start looking ahead to the week 10 matchup.

 

 

Game 8: @ Chicago

The Bears are just the team the Browns need. A turnover prone offense and a defense that is much closer to a screen door than a brick wall. However as the Bears showed in week 2 they are never out of it at home, and this trip to Soldier field will prove to be just another game they could have won for the Browns.

Sitting at 0-8 some fans, well maybe just a couple, start to wonder if it’s too late to bring Romeo back.

 

 

Game 9: Baltimore

Fresh off the bye week the Browns get thrown back into the fire with Baltimore. If this game had been a week earlier the Browns wouldn’t be much of an opponent. But coming off of the bye week Mangini and the crew have an extra week to prepare and will surely have some trick (read: desperate) plays up their sleeve for the Ravens.

This could be the Browns first win. But if there’s two things I know its that Charlie Weis is a tool, and that the Browns are always capable of blowing a winnable game. After 9 games they’ll have as many wins as they had coming into the season.

 

Game 10: @ Detroit

The battle for #1! Both teams may be winless heading into this one and even though the Lions have the home field advantage, that is about the only advantage they have. As they’re currently constructed the Lions try to run by don’t have the offensive line capable of sustaining a running game.

On the other side of the ball I want to say the Lions “can’t stop” anyone, but I’m not sure that they can’t, it’s more so that they don’t look interested in doing it.

Mangini might not (that middle work is a few weeks away from changing to “is not”) be a good coach, but he can get his team motivated. And that motivation ought to be enough to win this one. Too much talent for the Browns on the offensive side of the ball for them to drop to 0-10 in this one.

 

CELEBRATE BROWNS FANS! IT’S A WIN!

 

Game 11: @ Cincinnati

Now that they have their win it’s all down hill from here….sort of. If Palmer and the crew is still healthy and half of their defense isn’t serving prison time, the Bengals ought to beat the 1-win Browns.

On a side note, if Romeo were still there, how many pancakes do you think he’d throw down after that first win? I’m going with a bakers dozen.

 

Game 12: San Diego

Yeah right.

1-11

 

Game 13: Pittsburgh

Welcome to snowy Cleveland! Wait, it snows it Pittsburgh as well? Well there goes that advantage.

1-12

 

Game 14: @ Kansas City

Finally, another team who looks like the Browns. This game reminds of when one twin uses the other twin’s name and fools all of their teachers and friends. Very funny Nathaniel and Brandon!

Here’s hoping Mangini tries to fool KC fans and puts on all his Chiefs gear and one way or another gets stuck over there.

Aw what the heck, take another win Browns fans. You deserve it.

2-12

 

Game 15: Oakland

By this point the Oakland Raiders of the past few years will be back, and this competeive team of weeks 1 and 2 will be a distant memory.

What’s this? A winning streak? Fire up the presses at the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Browns are back! Well, not so much “back”, more like “playing out the season”.

3-12

 

Game 16: Jacksonville

It’s week 16, in preparation for the postseason the Browns coaches prepare a slideshow of great Browns Superbowl moments. It’s over before you can say “Bernie Kosar”

3-13

 

And there you have it. Another Browns season in the books, and it won’t be a win-less one. Moral victory anyone?

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