NFL Picks: Week Two Seems Like There Will Be Some Obvious Winners

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NFL Picks: Week Two Seems Like There Will Be Some Obvious Winners
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Raiders fans will readily concur with the fact that I have officially become an idiot.

I am posting my picks for today's games and will undoubtedly be so blatantly wrong on some of these picks, it will prompt calls for my trips to work to be taken on the yellow bus for my own safety.

I figured it was only fair after I called out a couple of writers for being stupid (I was correct, by the way) that I put myself out there to be humiliated.

What the hell? This will be fun!

Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans

After getting smothered at home by the Jets, the Texans go on the road to get smothered by the Titans as well.

Expect: Tennessee's defense will hammer the Texans offensive attack and bring home the win. Easily.

New Orleans Saints at Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles are one point underdogs at home to the Saints, but that's only because quarterback Donovan McNabb is out.

Expect: The leagues best quarterback, the Saints' Drew Brees, will continually step up in the pocket to evade the Eagles' futile pass rush, and do just enough to squeak past the Eagles... then run to the bus.

New England Patriots at New York Jets

Out of respect, the Patriots are 3.5 point favorites to roll into New York and continue their dominance against the Jets.

Expect: Two words come to mind when I think of the Patriots defense: a) Old b) Slow

That's probably wrong, because all those lead footed linebackers are out in New England.

Jets head coach Rex Ryan knows what to throw at Patriots QB Tom Brady to get him rattled. Unfortunately, Bill Belichick has mastered young QB's over the years. It seems obvious that Jets rookie QB Mark Sanchez will struggle.

I'm still picking the Jets to upset the Patriots, but only because they may still be shaking off the rust.

Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers

Somebody's offense isn't as good as advertised based on last week's performance by both teams.

Expect: Green Bay to not live up to their lofty status as nine point favorites over the Bengals. It will be a close game, but Green Bay pulls out a close one at home.

Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs

Oakland is somehow a three point underdog to the Chiefs and they aren't going to be happy about that.

Expect: Complete dominance by the Raiders on both sides of the ball. The Raiders offensive line has nothing to worry about from the Chiefs' pass rush and shutting down the Raiders run game could prove difficult.

Defensive linemen Richard Seymour and Greg Ellis will dominate the line of scrimmage.

Arizona Cardinals at Jacksonville Jaguars

In Arizona the Cardinals would likely mop up the Jaguars, but they are three point road underdogs this week.

Expect: The Jaguars roll over my hometown squad as they start the season 0-2 thanks to Maurice Jones-Drew.

Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions

The Lions, who haven't won a game since I saw Aunt Bea, are huge 9.5 point underdogs in this division rivalry game.

Expect: The Lions to thunderously drop to 0-19.

That's incredible.

However, the Lions may prove me wrong. On about four of those six Drew Brees touchdown passes, the Lions almost got to Drew Brees. Their might not be another QB playing today that could have made those throws that Brees made.

Favre has NEVER been the passer Brees is right now, so Peterson better roll so Favre doesn't have to do too much.  

Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons

Jake Delhomme's turnover fest should stop here with the Atlanta Falcons' awful cornerbacks on tap.

Expect: Matt Ryan will continue to roll, because of the threat of Michael Turner. The Falcons will cover the spread as six point favorites.

St. Louis Rams at Washington Redskins

When you're ten point underdogs to the Redskins, and deserve to be, you know it's bad. Somehow, I doubt the Redskins know they should win by at least ten.

Expect: The Washington Redskins will have to fight for a victory against the Rams, but they will pick up the win in the end. Barely.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Buffalo Bills

The Bills are 4.5 point favorites at home, and the Bucs are in shambles right now. They should have given the ball to Josh Johnson and got the hell out of the way.

Expect: Byron Leftwich's slow wind up will mirror the Bucs' sloth-like movement towards the end-zone. The Bills easily knock off the Bucs at home.

Seattle Seahawks at San Francisco 49ers

If Seattle captures home field advantage and East Coast teams have to fly to Seattle in the play-offs, they are done. You don't go into Seattle and beat this team. Oops, this game is in San Francisco.

Expect: No way the Seahawks go into San Francisco and stop this hard-nose football team this early in the season. The 49ers will start out 2-0 and take command of the NFC West. Seattle may take the division, though.  

Baltimore Ravens at San Diego Chargers

San Diego looks ripe for the picking, but teams flying in from the Northeast have been absolutely wiped-out by the Chargers in San Diego for the past five years with a couple of notable exceptions.

Expect: I'm not going to pick this one (I'm a Chargers fan), but both teams will have their hands full in this one. There won't be any East Coast crushing by the Chargers this week.

Cleveland Browns at Denver Broncos

This is the toilet bowl.

Expect: Denver is going to come out on top and cover the three point spread. Cleveland can't get out of it's own way. Denver has shuttled in Ed Hochuli.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Chicago Bears

The Super Bowl Champion Steelers are coming into Chicago as three point favorites.

Expect: The spread is about right in my mind since I do not believe Jay Cutler is an elite/franchise quarterback due his lack of leadership skills. The Bears should win, but the Steelers will be too tough, Cutler bungles in the fourth quarter, and the champs win by a few points.

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys

The Cowboys are opening up that new 100,000 seat mega stadium and the Giants will feel the thunder.

Expect: The Cowboys to feel the thunder as Giants run the ball well, only to lose to the 'Boys by more than the three point spread. Romo made some amazing throws against the Bucs, it won't stop their.

Indianapolis Colts at Miami Dolphins

The Baltimore Ravens are still wearing the Dolphins' glass slipper from a year ago.

Expect: The Colts may still be sluggish, but they should make it past the Dolphins with no problem. The Wildcat won't work against Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis.

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