Lakers News: Fitting Twitter Handles for Kobe Bryant Should He Start an Account

Brian Mazique@@UniqueMaziqueCorrespondent IIIJanuary 3, 2013

Lakers News: Fitting Twitter Handles for Kobe Bryant Should He Start an Account

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    Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant may finally be giving in to the lure of the blue bird. While the Mamba took over Nike's Twitter account for 72 hours, (Los Angeles Times) he mentioned to a follower that he was considering starting his own account.

    If he follows through on the urge, he could possibly break some sort of record for followers in the first 24 hours. LeBron James has over 6.8 million followers and counting; Kobe would probably reel in over a million or so within the first 24 hours of opening his account.

    There are obviously a lot of fake Kobe accounts out there, so the Mamba may need help coming up with a handle that hasn't already been taken....well, probably not, but I figured it would be fun to offer my assistance any way.

    Here are 10 fitting Twitter handles should Bryant join the Twitter community.


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    I've never blamed Kobe Bryant for patterning his game and his persona after Michael Jordan. Jordan is game's greatest player and the guy Kobe grew up watching.

    They play the same position and are almost the exact same height, with many of the same natural gifts. 

    It has always seemed to me that Bryant's biggest desire was to equal or surpass Jordan's accomplishments in the game. Some may hate him for trying to overthrow the man most consider to be the G.O.A.T, but that's what makes Kobe, Kobe.

    All he cares about is being the best...just like Mike.


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    Kobe and Dwight Howard could be nearly as awesome together as Kobe and Shaq once were, but there seems to be an unspoken struggle between the two.

    Bryant is having a great season. He's leading the NBA in scoring with 30.3 points per game, and he's averaging 5.4 rebounds and 4.7 assists per contest as well.

    The assists numbers are equal to his career numbers, but considering the Lakers added Howard to a mix that already included Pau Gasol and Metta World Peace, shouldn't that total be a little higher?

    Howard is only taking 10.8 shots per night, which is the same total World Peace is taking. Let's weigh that: Howard...World Peace...same amount of shots from the field per game.

    It still doesn't make any sense, even after I repeat it to myself. Bryant appears to be intent on showing the world this is still his team. Meanwhile, the Lakers are likely watching their future cornerstone become disenchanted with re-signing with the team.

    A blind Bryant fan might say, "Kobe's looking good everybody. It looks like he's got at least two more years left at a high level."

    That may ultimately be bad news for the team.


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    Before the bald, mid-30's Kobe, and before the number change, a young Mamba was an aspiring MC. There was a 12-inch vinyl record (the big circle things that played with a needle) supposedly from a never released album called Visions, per Dime Magazine.

    Two songs were on the record. One was called Thug Poets featuring Nas, 50 Cent and a guy named Broady Boy. The title is a curious one because few would describe Kobe as a thug, and after hearing these two songs, even less would describe him as a poet.

    The other song was the track featured in the video. It is called K.O.B.E, and it is as terrible as Kobe is good on the basketball court.

    Tyra Banks sings the hook as poorly as she is beautiful. Still, an @K.O.B.E twitter handle would make me laugh every time I read a Mamba tweet.


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    No teammate beef will ever be as entertaining as the Shaquille O'Neal vs. Kobe Bryant feud. Shaq vs Kobe was like a real-life athletic soap opera.

    Every time you thought it was over, one of them would say something to rekindle the flame.

    When Bryant was asked what his fifth NBA title meant to him, he sat with his daughters on his lap and said:


    Then in perhaps the most bizarre and hilarious barb of the Kobe and Shaq saga. The Big Aristotle jumped on stage at a rap concert and spit the infamous "lyrics": "Kobe, tell my how my a** taste."


    (Disclaimer: Explicit lyrics)

    That freestyle was good by athlete standards, but it still makes no sense. Perhaps that is why it cracks me up every time I watch it.


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    It always seems like Kobe is giving Pau Gasol a pep talk. The ultra-skilled big man is always in need of emotional guidance.

    As a man, I'm not sure how I'd feel about another man telling me I need to put my big boy pants on though, per ESPN. I mean, Gasol is 32 years old and seven feet tall. If his pants aren't big-boy size yet, they probably aren't ever going to grow,

    I kid, but the term big boy pants very accurately describes the way Kobe deals with things—at least publicly.

    His tough exterior and defiant nature would suggest he always has big boy pants on.


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    When Kobe took his bad knee to Germany before the 2011-2012 season to undergo the Regenokine procedure (ESPN) as opposed to a more standard surgery, it raised a few eyebrows. 

    After Kobe averaged 27.9 points per game last year, most people stopped questioning Bryant's decision. In fact, Kobe's success and blessings have led to a host of other athletes seeking the treatment, per ESPN.

    Some may call it the Kobe procedure, but I like RegenoKobe much better.


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    This is pretty straight forward. Kobe Bryant is paid quite handsomely by the Lakers ($27,849,149 this season, per ESPN), and that doesn't even get into the dollars he rakes in from endorsements.

    The seed of this slideshow is based on a lofty privilege to control Nike's Twitter account for 72 hours.

    This is the type of deal many thought would be gone forever after rape accusations threatened to permanently stain his image, per ABC News.

    Bryant has overcome—at least financially—and the Mamba is making paper.


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    I can poke fun at Bryant and so can others. I can talk about him not passing the ball enough, and even his penchant for devouring coaches not named Phil Jackson, but there is no way anyone can dispute his greatness.

    Bryant is one of the five greatest players to play the game, and the greatest Laker ever in my eyes.

    His Twitter handle should reflect that. Wouldn't it be vintage Kobe to be brash enough to make such a lofty self-proclamation.

    It's not bragging if you can back it up, and the Mamba has.


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