RECEIVERS & TIGHT ENDS
#17 Braylon Edwards - WR - 3rd Year
Good job. You grew up, shut your mouth, said all the right things and let your play do the talking. Amazing how you broke almost every Browns single season receiving record by playing the game the right way, huh? Stop dropping the easy ones and jumping for every pass and you should be good to go. Two things... 1. Now that you are a "model citizen" lets stay that way. 2. Now that you've shown you can put up these kinds of numbers I expect close to them every year.
EDWARDS - KEEP AND THANK YOU FOR GROWING UP
#80 Kellen Winslow - TE - 4th Year
I can only imagine what you are capable of if you were 100% healthy. Even when an opposing defense schemes to take you out of the game plan it opens up everyone else. You should have been voted in the Pro Bowl from Day 1 but people are always going to hold your "Soldier" rant and the motorcycle incident against you. Take it personal. Just keep going out there game after game and prove your critics wrong. You, too, also shut the hell up and just played the game. You don't need to ask for the ball. It got you over 80 catches and over 1,100 yards. The QB knows you deserve it when you are open. Also, see #1 and #2 under Mr. Edwards' write up.
WINSLOW - KEEP AND THANK YOU, TOO, FOR GROWING UP
#82 Steve Heiden - TE - 9th Year
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If it wasn't for Phil Dawson, you would be the best player the Browns have had since their reincarnation. It can not be underestimated how well you filled in for Kellen Winslow in 2004 and 2005. Your catches dropped to a third of what they were in 2006 and we never heard a word about it. You came in as the blocking tight end a lot to let K2 take pressure off his knees and take advantage as a slot receiver. You block well, play hard, play special teams and are the consummate professional. You have salvaged #82 after Benedict Ozzie left with You Know Who.
HEIDEN - KEEP
#84 Joe Jurevicius - WR - 10th Year
Other than the dropsies that seemed to develop at the end of the year, you are the prototype #2 and possession receiver. Doing nothing for the Caucasian sterotype, I might add. I think you rubbed off a pit on Braylon and K2 so kudos to you. You say '08 may be your last year, if so, why not go out with a bang. It's always good to come home to Cleveland.
JOE J - KEEP
We traded you for Reuben Droughns and he got a Super Bowl ring. I'm not sure what you got. Hmmm. Let's do the math. Played in 16 games. Check. Had 8 catches. Check. Of the 8 catches, 3 of them came during garbage time versus New England. Check. So... in the other 15 games you had 5 total catches. Check. That is one catch every 3 games. Check. I know K2 plays in the slot a lot and Cribbs rotates in but still... YOU'RE THE THIRD RECEIVER. DA PASSED FOR ALMOST 4,000 YARDS AND YOU ONLY CAUGHT 8 PASSES. To quote Gilbert Gottfried, "This is not good." Plus you tended to scissor-hands a lot of passes which is also not good. Listen you wear number 86 and considering who wore it last year, that is a dangerous proposition. Ask Syndric Steptoe. It's not your fault. It's the Curse of Brian Brennan. Look it up. In 1992, Bill Belichick released fan favorite Brian Brennan before the off-season program even started and didn't even tell GM Ernie Accorsi. Brennan was stunned and went on to play for the Chargers but his heart always remained in Cleveland. Since then the #86, and every player who has worn it, has been cursed. You played hard and tried but it just didn't work out.
CARTER - CUT
You were born, raised and grew up in Pittsburgh. You were a fan of the Steelers. You went to Pitt. Normally I would cut you but you are a physical specimen and you seem to play hard just stop holding on special teams. Also, you have won the "Ugliest Guy on the Team" for the second straight year. Congrats.
DINKINS - KEEP
#3 Derek Anderson - QB - 3rd Year
A lot of people want to blame you for missing the playoffs because of the Cincinnati game. When it comes down to it, the Browns should have won at least one more game and had the opportunity to do so more than a few times. You're only a year older than Quinn and when you look at the year you had it is amazing. You almost broke Brian Sipe team record for yardage and TD passes and led the team to a 10-5 record as a starter. After the opening day debacle, you took the opportunity presented to you and ran with it. You deserve a shot to repeat that performance and see if you were a one year wonder or if you've really broken out into stardom. That being said you were tied for the second most interceptions in the NFL and were god awful on the road. You need to become more consistent and develop a little more touch. But it shouldn't diminish what you accomplished in 2007 and people shouldn't be trying to run you out of town. Make DA mean Definitely Awesome more often than Dumb Ass and you'll be fine. But watch your back and you have someone who may be just as capable and hungry as you are.
ANDERSON - KEEP
#10 Brady Quinn - QB - Rookie
I like the fact that for some reason the entire football universe hates and/or doubts you. I like the fact that Browns haters like to take pictures that were taking of you at wedding and/or parties and degrade you when you're just being a normal guy at a party. I like the fact that you just let that stuff roll of you back and shrug it off. I like the fact that you handled your rookie season by saying and doing all the right things when some people were calling for you before you even got into camp. I like even better the vibe and aura that seemed to overtake the stadium when you entered the San Fran game. Let's see what you have after another training camp and pre-season. You will eventually be the man here. It may not be next year but it will be soon. And I have a feeling you will be ready and able.
QUINN - KEEP
#11 Ken Dorsey - QB - 5th Year
Browns averaged 7 points in the games you weren't with the team and were gangbusters once you arrived. Who knew you were this valuable. And you were the highest paid QB on the team in 2007! But seriously, if Trent Dilfer didn't have an attitude problem he'd be doing what you are right now. Kudos for knowing your role, helping out DA and the Golden Boy, and being an all around good influence on the team. I have no doubt that you contributed greatly to the development of both.
K. DORSEY - KEEP
#29 Jason Wright - RB - 3rd Year
You are going to be a doctor after you retire but you're a pretty damn good change of pace back. I love seeing you on screens and draws. You're not the biggest or fastest guy but man you hit the holes hard and run with authority. You're only worry is Harrison nipping at your heels. Keep it up from one Doc to another.
J. WRIGHT - KEEP
#31 Jamal Lewis - RB - 8th Year
I, like everybody else, was sour on your signing. A lot of wear and tear, lingering injuries and the checked past. You proved all the doubters wrong. You were a beast and got better as the year went on. Only the second back in Browns history to get 1,300 yards and you missed one game and played only one play in another. Two or three more years of you is just fine by me as long as the effort and passion are there just like this year. Don't get mad when the Browns evetually draft or sign a young guy to eventually take over for you because it's going to happen. And I know you're tired of hearing it but... keep your nose clean.
LEWIS - KEEP
#35 Jerome Harrison - RB - 2nd Year
I see you and think of Darren Sproles of SD. You're so damn fast they should have a play or two designed for you each game just like Cribbs. If it wasn't for Cribbs you probably seeing more action on special teams. While J-Wright might be more of a prototypical back-up but you are definitely a weapon and need to be used. Dressing a second FB instead of you should never be an option. I expect to see a lot more of you in 2008.
HARRISON - KEEP
#47 Lawrence Vickers - FB - 2nd Year
Alright, Stonehands, let's chat. K2 stopped you from dancing in the endzone in the Game 1 blowout. That, plus Maurice Carthon's inexplicable obsession with you, might have people calling for you head. But you got yourself straight and provided some great hardnosed blocking for the RBs and a lot of the experts say you are a Pro Bowler in the making. Don't let it go to your head. The automatic "Vickers Up The Middle" when it's 1 yard or less to go is frightening at times but at least there is now the Vickers Fake Play-Action Pass now. You're tough, athletic and play angry. Let's work on catching the football, with your hands, before you try to run and things should be OK. I know you don't get a lot of passes but you shouldn't poop a chicken when one comes you way. You may be the most improved player, other than DA, on the team.
VICKERS - KEEP
#50 Marvin Philip - C - 2nd Year
The Steelers drafted you in 2006 tried to stash you on the practice squad this year and we picked you up late season. You were inactive all three games. I do believe in stockpiling young offensive linemen however.
PHILIP - KEEP FOR FUTURE EVALUATION
#61 Isaac Sowells - OL - 2nd Year
The Browns seem to like you but you've only played 1 game in two years. That's good because it means they're haven't been a ton of injuries. You can play G and T... always a plus.
SOWELLS - KEEP
#62 Lennie Friedman - G - 9th Year
Let's forget the fact that you are a reliable back-up and can offer help at both center and guard. Let's talk about the important things. You are recognized as having on of the best senses of humor in the locker room. You are often seen reading the Wall Street Journal before and after games. You majored in Psychology at Duke. You were inducted into the Jewish Sports Hall of Fame in 2004. You are one of our few unrestricted Free Agents I hope they bring you back.
FRIEDMAN - KEEP - MAZEL TOV MY GOOD MAN!
#65 Eric Steinbach - LG - 5th Year
The fact you are not in the Pro Bowl is a travesty. You wrecked people all year and have a nasty streak. Your signing was the first step in the off-season turn around and you have been well worth that $49M.
STEINBACH - KEEP
#66 Hank Fraley - C - 8th YearGetting you for a 7th Round draft pick was a steal. You are the leader of the O-Line even through you are not the best player. You take charge and aren't afraid to get into anyone's face. Plus you are so portly that your jersey rolls up your massive belly because you snap and the two 6s ball up and look like 0s on your man boobs and that makes me laugh. Keep on knocking them down Fat Hank!
FAT HANK - KEEP
You're lazy. There's no denying it. It's plagued you since college. It's why you dropped into the 4th Round of the draft. It's why the Vikings traded you to us for Melvin Fowler who is now an above average OL in Buffalo. It's why you took a play off in the Oakland game and let a game winning field goal get blocked. I can not believe the Browns cut Kelly Butler in favor of you. He played hard, worked hard and never got noticed. Offensive linemen shouldn't get noticed. If they do it means they F'd up. You always seem to get noticed.
N. DORSEY - CUT!
#72 Ryan Tucker - RG - 11th Year
Let me tell you something, Brother! At the end of 2006 when I was training, saying my prayers (talking to the make believe people in my head) and taking my vitamins (steroids) everyone thought I was on the brink of destruction, Brother. And that long, hard first month of the season when I was banned from the ring (Browns Practice Facility) all the little Cleveland-Maniacs were wondering what the future held for me, Brother. But let me tell you something, Brother! I knew all along that the Right Guard position was calling my name, Brother! And when I finally returned all was finally wRight in the world, Brother! Cleveland-Mania is runnin' wild like it's never run before! This is where the power lies, Brother! So whatcha gonna do, BROTHER, when the Tuckster runs wild on you!
TUCKER - KEEP
#73 Joe Thomas - LT - Rookie
The pick that may have changed the course of the franchise. The Stienbach signing made no sense without drafting you. Pro Bowl in your first season and I expect you to be there for over a decade. Great coo by Savage to fool everyone into thinking we weren't going to select you. Anything I type can't do you justice.
THOMAS - KEEP
You weren't stellar but we noticed you much less this year. You had the occasional false start or hold but no where near to the 10-11 times a game in 2006. I found myself cursing you less and less with each game. Who would have thought that a simple flip-flop from LT to RT would have done wonders for the HPC, baby! This is a first. The first person, ever, that I have cut in a previous year and rebounded the year after. Ladies and gentlemen for the first time in Cut List History...
HUMAN PARKING CONE - KEEP!
DEFENSIVE FRONT SEVEN
#60 Melila Purcell - DE - Rookie
Well, you did it. You made it on the active roster for the last game of the season. But you didn’t play. You know what that makes you… my boy Lang Campbell. Well done. It’s like it was meant to be. He was #6, you are #60. Just slid that 0 in there for shits and grins, huh? Otto Graham was originally #60, way to tarnish the number. That being said, you are a young DL so we may as well keep you around and see what happens.
PURCELL – KEEP
#75 Simon Frasier - DE - 3rd year
You play hard, hustle and I enjoy seeing you do the hand signals during the playing of “Hang On Sloopy” between the third and fourth quarters. But you are a bit undersized for a DE in a 3-4. Blatant Ohio nepotism only gets you so far. You made a lot more plays in 2006 so maybe my expectations are a little too high. Kudos on the Lorenzo Lamas hair, start speaking in an accent true to your Scottish heritage and you may have a wrestling gimmick in the future. For now get stronger.
FRASIER - KEEP
#91 Shaun Smith – NT/DE - 4th Year
Injuries forced you to play more DE that NT. You seemed to play very well at the nose and so-so at end. I expect big things from you in 2008. I love the fact that you dig through the Media Guides to dig up smack talk on the opponents. Let’s back it up against the Bungals this year, Mmm’Kay? I mean Carson Palmer called you the Hamburglar! This is the greatest thing that could ever happen. I mean you did look like the Hamburglar in a Bungals uniform. The stripes, the portly physique, dead ringer. You’re sitting on a gold mine, Hamburglar. Michael Dean Perry had the MDP back in the 1990’s. You’ve got to get something for yourself. I can envision Dawson, Zastudil and Pontbriand sitting around the Training Complex lunchroom. All of a sudden they hear “Robble, Robble” in the background. “Shit, it’s the Hamburglar, yo! Run for your lives!” I sense a Hambuglar #91 jersey in the Chinch’s future…
HAMBURGLAR - KEEP
#93 Louis Leonard - NT - Rookie
We picked you up after San Diego waived you in an attempt to stick you on the Practice Squad. That worked out well with Derek Anderson and the Chargers are considered to have one of the best collections of talent on their roster in the NFL. Steal from the rich. Also, you are frickin’ ginormous. We need help, please give us some.
LEONARD - KEEP
#96 Bobby Hamilton - DE – 13th Year
Why didn’t we pick you up earlier in the year? It’s your 13th year, we pick you up in the last week of the season, you haven’t been in football shape and you play better than half the DE that we have had in the past 9 years. And kudos on picking the reverse 69 for your number. But you are 35. We need young talent here. Sorry, Bobby.
HAMILTON – CUT!
#98 Robaire Smith - DE – 8th Year
Quietly you had a very solid year. Nothing great but not that bad. You made a couple of nice plays here and there but we need a couple a game. Based on our track record with past free agents you turned out to be a pretty good deal. Stay healthy and you should be a key piece to a DL line rotation in 2008. You stole Big Dawg’s #98 but I am giving you a nickname to compensate. If Shaun Smith is the Hamburglar that’s makes you Mayor McCheese! It only makes sense!
MCCHEESE - KEEP
#99 Orpheus Roye - DE – 12th Year
Before we get to the inevitable, let’s give you some kudos. You used to be a Steeler for 4 years. You’ve been a Brown for 8. Way to double it up, it is appreciated. You had a couple really good years hear and a few solid years. It a time of bad football you were actually good. You actually had the last safety in Browns history prior to the bad snap in the blizzard versus Buffalo. I witnessed it live. Chinch, Kick Ball Head and I did the ‘Safety Dance’ in the stands. It’s been a good run but it’s coming to an end. You’re 34, can’t stay healthy and have lost more than just a step. Orpheus, you did us well my friend but it’s time to bid you adieu.
ROYE – CUT! AND THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
#54 Andra Davis - ILB – 6th Year
You were amazing in the Buffalo game. Utterly amazing. But that was in a blizzard when speed was nullified and all that mattered was instincts. But when conditions are good or even so-so, well, we could compare you to Rafael Betancourt’s wind-up. You are THAT slow and it is THAT noticeable. I don’t know what happened. A couple of years ago you were all over the place. Now, yikes, if you stop someone for a 5 yard gain I am happy. If we put your smarts and combined them with Leon Williams’ athleticism we’d have one heckuva ILB. But right now you are only half of one. I partially blame Gerard “Big Poopie” Warren since he was your teammate at Florida and still your best friend. The effort and heart is always there when you play but the results were lacking all year.
DAVIS – CUT!
#55 Willie McGinest - OLB – 14th Year
I’ll give you credit. You came back faster from a back injury that I thought possible. Especially at your age. You played every position from OLB to ILB to DE to even some NT when the line was decimated by injuries. But you are getting up in age and just don’t make the plays you did in New England (minus the San Fran game). You should probably hang them up but I know better. Romeo loves you and you will finish out the final year of your contract. Just keep teaching and being a team leader like you have and I can live with it.
MCGINEST – SHOULD BE CUT BUT YOU KNOW HE WON’T BE
#56 Antwan Peek - OLB - 5th Year
Please stay healthy. I would love to see what you and Wimbley could do in a full 16 game season when you are both healthy. You were extremely fast until you hurt your foot and then it was downhill from there. Another solid FA signing that bucks the Browns’ past FA trends. I mean you should be a terror you just look scary in your picture. The one in the Media Guide is even more frightening.
PEEK – KEEP AND STAY AWAY FROM MY HOUSE
#58 D’Qwell Jackson - ILB – 2nd Year
You are undersized but looked great as a rookie. This year ball carriers were dragging you all over the field. In a 3-4 the ILBs need to make all the tackles bro, and not down the field. You regressed big time. You do almost everything good but nothing great. It’s frustrating to see you be in position to make a play but not make one, or make it seven yard down the field. If the D is to improve either you or Williams needs to step up in 2008.
JACKSON – KEEP
#94 Leon Williams - ILB – 2nd Year
You played well. You are young and athletic. But I hear you are as dumb as a box of rocks. You seem to have gone to the Andra Davis School of Tackling Seven Yards Down the Field. But you are good in pass coverage especially on the TE. You’re still young and maybe New DC Mel Tucker can do for you what he did for the Defensive Backs the past few years. We need you to develop into a tacking machine at or behind the line of scrimmage. Please.
WILLIAMS - KEEP
#95 Kamerion Wimbley - OLB – 2nd Year
OK, Kam-Ram, you suffered the dreaded sophomore jinx, but it wasn’t that bad. You didn’t get hurt or play awful just weren’t as much of a force that you were as a rookie. Some of it was because you are the only effective pass rush we have when Peek isn’t healthy. But some of it is because you only have ONE PASS RUSHING MOVE! Come on now, Kam-Ram, we need some variety and ingenuity here. You should be good for an automatic 10 sacks a year, no questions asked. Maybe if you got a little meaner on the field. I hear you are one heckuva nice guy but please, all of Cleveland would love it if you kicked Todd Heap in the balls or piledrove Big Dumb Toothlessburger… Turkey Jones style.
WIMBLEY - KEEP
#21 Brodney Pool - FS - 3rd Year
What's the deal with the name? Parents couldn't decide between Brian and Rodney? Couldn't have gone with B. Rodney Pool? Then I could give you a cool nickname like "The Divine Rod". Now I'm stuck with "The Divine Brod"? Thanks, jack ass. You looked lost the first part of the year taking over for Brian Russell and it hurt. But you came on at the end. It was your first year as a starter and you improved as the season wore on. Keep it and I can see good things in cut lists of the future.
POOL - KEEP
#22 Brandon McDonald - CB - Rookie
Who was this character in the hospital? And why was he trying to kill Nordberg? And for whom? Did Ludwig lie to me? I didn't have any proof, but, somehow, I didn't entirely trust him, either. Why was the I Luv You not listed in Ludwig's records? And if it was, did he know about it? And if he didn't, who did? And where the hell did Brandon McDonald come from? These are the gems we need Phil Savage to continue to find. They lack of depth the Browns had in previous regimes is slowly starting to be eliminated and McDonald is a prime example. Stepping up when injuries took their toll and playing well. Watching him shut down Andre Johnson was great and seeing him always be around the play on special teams was great. No sophomore slump please. Also, thank you for the readily available nickname, B-Mac.
MCDONALD - KEEP
#24 Eric Wright - CB - Rookie
You started off a little slow, but that was to be expected. By the end of the year you looked as solid as can be. With you B-Mac and Bodden, the Browns look go to go in the secondary for a while. Also, you may be the solidest tackler on the team and you're only a rookie. Kudos for proving your doubters wrong by keeping your nose clean at UNLV after getting into trouble at USC. I know that makes LA one of your least favorite places but it has to be done...
"Cruisin' down the street in my '64
It's like that and it's like this
I took her to the pad and we started to kiss
Now my (expletive deleted)'s on hard ya know what I'm thinkin'
Took her panties off and her (expletive deleted) was stinkin'
Pulled off my draws and we started to begin
Now the (expletive deleted)' wet so my (expletive deleted) slides in
Oh, hiddy hiddy hiddy you hoe
Ridin' from the back so I'm (expletive deleted) kinda slow
So fee fie foe (expletive deleted) fum
She's scratchin' on my back oh here she comes
Now I gotta get a nutt gotta get a nutt gotta get it quick
Ya know because I love this (expletive deleted) so
Gimme that, that, that nutt
Gimme that, that, that nutt
Gimme that, that, that nutt
Gimme that, Gimme that, Gimme that nutt..."
(Personal note: This was the theme song to the 1994 Strongsville Mustangs' Football Team played after every game in the basement of Trey Donze's house. Special thanks to QB Kevin Walsh for making this the team's theme song. You stay classy K-Dubs!)
ERIC WRIGHT - KEEP
#26 Sean Jones - SS - 4th Year
Ok, so you had trouble stepping up calling the coverages after Brian Russell left. It sucked. It really did. You made all opposing tight ends look like John Mackey (I still refuse to acknowledge Benedict Ozzie). It's OK. I forgive you. By the end of the year, things were well adjusted and you were making plays and big hits again. Just tackle, please? I know you can hit very hard but it does no good if the guy with the balls bounces off of you and runs for 15 more yards. It's very disheartening to the fans, teammates and coaches. Please, I think you can be as good as Troy Poopamalu and Ed Reed except without the stupid hair and gangsta thug lives. Make me want to buy your jersey. I expect big things from you in 2008. Don't let me down.
JONES - KEEP
#28 Leigh Bodden - CB - 5th Year
Just stay healthy, that's all I ask. Whenever you are healthy, you make plays. Gimpy, not so much. I don't know why this a difficult task for you but it is. When you were a rookie and playing special teams as a gunner on the punt team you never got hurt, not once. Now you sneeze and we're screwed. Stay healthy. Buy a hyperbolic chamber or something, just stay healthy. And just for the record... even if you are a football player, and your baby's momma and your two kids are sick and somehow having trouble figuring out how to exit Hopkins International Airport, you can not park you car outside at the arrival gates. They wouldn't care if you were a diplomat. In DC they would shoot you then detain you at Guantanamo Bay for this. I don't care if the cop was being a jerk, it's common knowledge you can do this. Assclown.
BODDEN - KEEP
#39 Daven Holly - CB - 3rd Year
Last year you were like money. Signed after training camp, thrust into action and making plays left and right. Someway, somehow the ball would find you and you'd make a play. This year you struggled right off the bat and never seemed to get right. You started off as the nickel back but seemed to get replaced in 3 and 4 DB packages by Mike Adams and Brandon McDonald. Your season can be summed up in one play. Week 16, Cincinnati. Opening kickoff. The Bungals fumble. It bounces right to you... and you drop it and the Bungals recover. You get that fumble it's a different ballgame. It just seemed like you couldn't buy a break this year. Still, it's was only your 3rd year but you have now fallen behind Bodden, Easy E and B-Mac. Your fate depends on Gary Baxter's and the rookie Free Agent class.
HOLLY - KEEP (FOR NOW)
#4 Phil Dawson – K – 9th Year
You are the last guy left from 1999 and with good reason. Everyone bad mouthed you for an off 2006 and you rebounded with authority. 26 for 30. 87%. Let’s go over the 4 misses. Game 3, Nat Dorsey whiffs on a blocking assignment and the kick is blocked. Game 9, on the worst field in football history (Heinz Field, Pittspuke) you are just short on a 52 yard field goal. Only 1 field goal of over 50 yards has even been made there. Ever. Game 10, you shanked one in Baltimore but I think the 51 yarder you made off the “Dawson Bar” to send the game to OT and the OT winner made up for that one. Game 16, protection breaks down and the kick is blocked. So out of 30 attempts you had one shank job. And the 26 you made included The Immaculate Deflection in Baltimore and the two amazing kicks in the blizzard versus Buffalo. The 49 yarded may never be duplicated. You passed Matt Bahr and Jim F’N Brown on the Browns all-time scoring list and sit at #3. You are the most consistent kicker we have had since Matt Bahr and the only game winning kick you have ever missed was the one in Game 3 when Dorsey missed his block. You are the best player the Browns have had since their reincarnation in 1999 and will be the first member of the reincarnation to be inducted into the Cleveland Browns Legends faction.
DAWSON - KEEP
#15 Dave Zastudil – P – 6th Year
Your punting average dropped more than 2 yards per punt and your net average dropped almost 4 yards per punt from 2006. You went from placing 35% of your punts inside the 20 to 29%. You even had a couple of bobbled snaps as the holder this year. Not a good 2007 for the Zasty Boy. Now I know you had a bad back, of which I can sympathize with, but did you have to subject us to Paul Ernster and Scott Player? Honestly, that was not cool. A douchebag and a 60 year old porn star. Yuck! Just stay healthy, you kicked us out of field position jambs time and time again in 2006 let’s revert back to that in 2008. Bay Village High School Football Rules!
ZASTUDIL - KEEP
#16 Josh Cribbs – WR/KR – 3rd Year
What can be said? He’s been here for 3 years and is already the Browns all-time leader in kickoff yardage and return touchdowns. Every time he touches the football everyone in the stadium looks on in anticipation. Plus he’s the gunner on the punt team and a menace on the kickoff team leading the team in special teams tackles. If there’s one issue with Cribbsy it’s that the Browns seem reluctant to use him on offense in fear of burning him out. He’s not an every down player on offense, yet, but he still could be utilized more as a weapon. 9 rushes and 3 receptions just isn’t enough. Enjoy the annual trip to Honolulu.
CRIBBS – KEEP, DUH
#25 Kenny Wright – CB – 9th Year
I live in DC. Kenny Wright played for the Redskins last year (after being jettisoned by Jacksonville, Houston and Minnesota). Last year for the Redskins, he was forced into starting duty due to injuries. It was not pretty. I believe I compared him to Ralph “Toast” Brown. It was that bad. You were basically a charcoal briquette. This year he started off by playing in the nickel and dime packages. He actually started and played extensively in Game 2 versus the Bungals when they put up 45 points. You only played in 5 games after that. Actually, you were inactive for 7 of the last 10 games. Do the math. The last ember of your charcoal briquette is about to burn out.
KENNY WRIGHT - CUT
#27 Nick Sorensen – DB – 7th Year
Yo dude, like whats up? You look like a surfer but you’re from Virginia. You actually went to high school right down the street from my office and then Virginia Tech. Which is odd… The Browns picked you up mid season after being cut by Jacksonville where you were special teams captain for 2 years. You’re all over the field on kickoffs and punts and we do need a wild and crazy Caucasian running down the field since the Mother Uncker Mason Unck was run out of town. You can keep your long hair (and that giant forehead), you damn hippie, and long as you keep making tackles on punt and kickoffs. We just need to find you a nickname…
SORENSEN - KEEP
#30 Ricardo Colclough – DB – 4th Year
Where do I begin? Drafted by Steelers. Played 3 years for Steelers. Started this year with Steelers. Cut by Steelers after 3 games. On the Browns active roster for 9 games. Inactive for all 9 games. 9 for 9. I don’t know how anyone can top that. Well, I do, but that’s for a later date… So you get cut by the Steelers, who defensive backs suck after 3 games. Three. And then, you can’t even get active for a game with the Browns. Gary Baxter was able to accomplish that, too, except he at one point in time had no ligaments in his knees! If you are going to come over from the dark side you at least have to contribute something to Believeland (see: Roye, Orpheus). Your contribution, nada.
COLCLOUGH – CUT!
#41 Charles Ali – FB – Rookie
Ah yes, the traditional fullback, just like me. A dying breed. Close to my heart. But we already have Vickers. And watching the film the only special team you play on is kickoff return. Not even FG/XP, just kickoff return. Now I know Cribbs is the best damn KO returner in the game but I kind of think there’s someone else who can do this instead of you. Maybe Vickers? He IS Lawrence Vickers. Kudos to you for making it as an undrafted FA out of college, always tough to do. But you being active usually means Jerome Harrison is inactive which makes me grumpy. And you don’t need 2 FBs on a 53 man roster. If Vickers goes down (God forbid) Stevey Heiden or Darnell Dinkins can step in. Sorry my fullback breatheren.
ALI - CUT
#51 Chaun Thompson – LB - 5th Year
You seem to be versatile but do nothing well. But it can’t be ignored that you were second to Cribbs in special teams tackles. And you are durable. You have played in every game possible for the browns since you were drafted… from West Texas A&M (http://www.wtamu.edu/). The West Texas A&M Buffs. The Buffs. Couldn’t afford Buffalos? What’s the deal here? Oh wait the website says to you can use Buffalos or Buffs. Riiiiight… At least you spell your first name properly. And you can play anywhere from NT to OLB. You are a FA I hope you resign.
THOMPSON - KEEP
#59 Keith Adams – LB – 7th Year
Thanks for showing up for the last three games after Kris griffin got hurt. This was after Miami cut you. Cam Cameron may be the stupidest head coach ever. Good news, he ended up in Balti-whore. Bad news, I am still pissed Mason Unck is gone.
ADAMS – CUT!
#64 Ryan Pontbriand – LS – 5th Year
How many times do I remember you f@#$ing up? Zero. How many bad weather games with wind, rain and snow did the Browns play? Plenty. How many will they play in the future? Plenty. You said in the windy games you were aiming 2 yards to the side of Zasty… and still hit him in the numbers. In addation to keeping you around I am nominating you for the Nobel Prize in Physics. Well played.
PONTBRIAND - KEEP
#90 David McMillan – LB – 3rd Year
Hey man, what is up with your hair? As a rookie you had the dreads, last year the high and tight and now the corn rows. Make a frickin’ decision. Sweet Lord. I mean you are always Mr. Pre-Season on defense and then only sniff the field on special teams all year. What‘s up with that??? You had 7 tackles and a recovered fumble in 15 games. That’s just so-so. But you did to Kansas for college! So you played for Mark Mangino who can only be eloquently described in one picture.
MCMILLAN - KEEP PRACTICE SQUAD
12 - Syndric Steptoe - WR - Rookie
Where do I begin? You are a wide receiver, check. You were on the practice squad all year, check. Never on the active roster, check. Now to my knowledge the Browns only have 2 wide receivers on the roster, Braylon and Joe J. So it would make sense to have more than 2 WR on the active roster but you can't make the active roster but we need more WRs on the active roster, it's like a paradox or a plot of a bad Star Trek episode...
... but there's something fishy about you... way too familiar... not Kaz Tadano familiar but familiar nonetheless... heyyyyy... wait a second... You're less than 6' tall... You went to Arizona... You play WR... You are more of a punt returner than a WR... You have sketchy hands... Holy sh!t, you're Dennis Northcutt, Jr! Sweet Frickin' Jesus! This is the worst thing to happen to the Browns since the real Dennis Northcutt.
STEPTOE - CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT! CUT!
33 - Kory Chapman - RB - 2nd Year
Chapman, you've bounced around from Baltimore to New England to Indy in 3 years. Not 3 cities you want to mention in C-Town right now.
CHAPMAN - CUT!
37 - A. J. Davis - DB - Rookie
Davis the Lions drafted you in the 4th Round and then cut you. The Lions cut you. Ouch.
DAVIS - CUT!
63 - Cliff Louis - OL - Rookie
Louis, you're 6'-8" 300 but couldn't beat out Nat Dorsey.
LOUIS - SPARED ONLY DUE TO HATRED OF ONE NATHANIEL DORSEY
79 - Zach West - DL - Rookie
West you were signed to the practice squad before Week 17. ***Congrats, you get the Lang Campbell Memorial - I Was On the Roster For Only One Week So I Get to Appear On The Browns All-Time Roster Award!*** Kudos!
WEST - CUT!
83 - Steve Sanders - WR - 1st Year
Sanders, you're a Cleveland guy and a BGSUer like Moms. Not too shabby. We do need another WR... hmmm.
SANDERS - SPARED BLATANT NEPOTISM
85 - Brad Cieslak - TE - 3rd Year
Cieslak, you've played for the Bills and they cut you. You've been around for 3 years, why are you still on a practice squad?
CIESLAK - CUT!
97 - Chase Pittman - DE - Rookie
Pittman, you know what I found out? Your full name is Benjamin Chase Pittman. That's fishy right there. People who go by their middle names. You went to LSU. You are basically a clone of Simon Frasier except you went to LSU and not OSU. When Ethan Kelley went on IR they activated Melila Purcell and not you.
PITTMAN - DEAR LORD WE NEED DEFENSIVE LINEMEN I CAN'T CUT YOU YOU SEC PIECE OF CRAP
5 - Efrem Hill - WR - 1st Year
Dear Efrem, thank you for catching Brady Quinn's first ever TD in pre-season. It kicked of Brady-Mania and gave the town hope for years to come. Unfortunately, that play was all about Mr. Quinn and nothing about you. Please note, as you spent to entire year on IR you do NOT appear on the Browns All-Time Roster. If you are a wide receiver and you are given a single digit number it is generally not a good sign.
HILL - CUT!
13 - Kyle Basler - P - 1st Year
The white guy Afro is pretty cool, I'll give you that. But you are not a cool as Scott Player and his porn 'stache and I do not despise you as much as Paul Ernster which puts you in no man's land. Also, Spurgeon Wynn used to wear #13, bad karma my man. Oh yeah, and you have John Elway horse teeth.
BASLER - CUT!
20 - Mike Adams - S - 4th Year
You played very well on special teams, backing up Jones and Pool and in the dime packages before you got hurt. You always seemed to be around the ball and don't make mistakes. Now that the Browns are good, they can focus on acquiring depth. Mike Adams, congratulations...
ADAMS - KEEP
23 - Gary Baxter - DB - 7th Year
I am amazed you can even wall after popping both patella tendons. Kudos to you for making it back, holding up through training camp and making the active roster. I don't know if you'll even play again, but if you do I hope it's here as you can provide some depth and veteran leadership to a young secondary.
BAXTER - KEEP AND GOD BLESS
37 - Justin Sandy - S - 2nd Year
You were on the practice squad last year. Good for you. You were on IR all this year. Not good for you.
SANDY - CUT!
52 - Matt Stewart - LB - 7th Year
You were awful last year. 14 tackles in 4 starts awful. You got hurt this year. I'm sorry you blew out your shoulder but you're not helping at all. Andra Davis is faster than you, not good. I will give you credit, you did leave the Falcons organization before the poop hit the fan. Good timing on that one, chief. For the second year in a row...
53 - Kris Griffin - LB - 3rd Year
So let's see. You grew up in Beaver, PA... You went to Indiana University of Pennsylvania... Because of your arrival the Browns released Dr. Poove's favorite Mormon and bald brother, Mason Unck, depriving everyone of seeing him run like a mad man into a wedge. Then, to top it off, you take his #53 just to spite him. How dare you, sir, how dare you in deed.
GRIFFIN - CUT! YOU PITTSPUKE PIECE OF CRAP!
57 - LeCharles Bentley - C - 6th Year
Your situation might be worse than Gary Baxter's. The injury, the staph infection, the second surgery. Ugly. Plus you are C-Town born and bred. But why are you so surly? I am curious as to what the deal is. I have to know. Regardless, with the Browns O-Line now a strength, you can only make it better. Godspeed, LeChuck.
BENTLEY - KEEP AND GOD BLESS
68 - Seth McKinney - G - 6th Year
Who doesn't love a fat guy with red hair and a chin goatee? Honestly? But you've got to stay healthy bro. A broken leg in 2005. A broken neck in 2006. Separated shoulder in 2007. Come on my man. You played well until you got hurt but the Tuckster played better. The good Browns are all about depth so I hope you resign and hope you stay healthy. Maybe it's number karma? You are taunting The 69 Game by wearing #68.
MCKINNEY - KEEP
73 - Alvin Smith - DL - 1st Year
You're named after one of the Chipmunks. Hines Ward is the Evil Chipmunk. Strike one. You are wearing #73. I think someone else on the Browns who is a little better than you is wearing that number now. Strike two. You were on the practice squad last year when the Browns stunk and they never activated you. Strike three.
SMITH - CUT!
78 - Ethan Kelley - NT - 3rd Year
I want to cut you but I always see you hustling. You're undersized for a NT but you get decent pressure. I am not sure if it's that everyone else sucks so you look better or you actual have talent and would fit well into a rotation of D linemen. You should not start but I think you're worth keeping around. Don't blow it.
KELLEY - KEEP
92 - Ted Washington - NT - 17th Year
I met you at Training Camp in 2006. You were the surliest SOB and it was great. But anytime a kid said hello to you you said hello back. You are by far the largest Brown in history, and you're lucky they only list you at 375. But you were dog poo this year. It was so bad that you were inactive for a couple games and then you got put on IR for being fat. Not good my man. You were great when you were in your prime but that was years ago. At least I heard you were a good tutor and mentor for the younger players on defense. Hang them up, get a whistle and a clipboard and lose 125 pounds.
WASHINGTON - RETIRE OR BE CUT!
Feels like I am forgetting something... OH YEAH!
#81 Travis Wilson - WR - 2nd Year
May the Lord have mercy on your soul! Somehow, as the 4th receiver on the team you managed to be deactivated for EVERY SINGLE GAME this year. This is not uncommon for a back-up or third quarterback, back-up offensive lineman or extra specialist. But it's EMBARRASSING for the 4th wide receiver. You couldn't even beat out Tim Carter for the 3rd wide receiver and I just documented his lack of receiving prowess a few paragraphs above. It doesn't matter that they use K2 in the slot, or Heiden as an extra blocker and pass catcher or that Cribbs comes in for specialty plays, the coaching staff decided there was no advantage, whatsoever, to activating you for any single game. You couldn't even get in on any special teams! Bobby Hamilton was here for one week and got to play! Charles Ali got to play in some games. Sweet Jesus, even Lennie Friedman returned a kickoff! They signed guys for a couple weeks at the end of the year to play special teams instead of letting you! You professed yourself to be the best player in the 2006 Draft and proceeded to hold out and produce 2 catches. This year you had a fair shot to beat out Carter and Cribbs for playing time and couldn't do it. Kevin "I humped Willie Green's Wife" Johnson, Dennis North-"You've Been"-Cutt, Quincy "Mumbles" Morgan and Andre "The Proper Spelling" Davis used to be called the 4 deuces because they were all 2nd round draft picks. I think they were the 4 deuces because the Browns pooped the bed and dropped a deuce with those 4 draft picks. Plus 81 was Mumbles' number and then Antonio Bryant's number and they just rub me the wrong way. I don't see you making a turn around like Braylon or K2 because you are NOT AS TALENTED AS THEM you jackass. Even though you are young I just get no positive vibes from you. Maybe you will prove me wrong but I have serious doubts. As the final act of the 2008 Cleveland Browns Cut List...
TRAVIS WILSON - CUT! KEVIN JOHNSON - STILL CUT! DENNIS NORTHCUTT - STILL CUT! QUINCY MORGAN - STILL CUT! ANDRE DAVIS - STILL CUT!
That's it. Thanks for reading! It's a good year when I don't want to cut many people off the team let alone more than half of them as in years past! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.