Panic. Jump to conclusions. Look before leaping.
Meanwhile, the Denver Broncos have a quarterback no one thought could win in the NFL, inexperience at wideout and leftovers at running back.
Somehow they're 6-1 in the last seven games.
For Chicago, this game was supposed to be an easy win. Fans expected to watch ex-Bronco Jay Cutler bash his former team, while ex-Bear Kyle Orton took punishment from his old defense.
Here are 10 keys to a Bears win.
Everybody stops Tebow the first three quarters. But keeping the Broncos down in the fourth quarter is hard. Maybe impossible.
Since being named starter, Tebow is 6-1 and has led Denver to five straight victories.
That streak includes four in a row by less than seven points.
And three consecutive in which Timmy has led the Broncos on a game-tying or game-winning drive in the fourth quarter.
He ran for a 20-yard touchdown against the Jets with 58 seconds left. Broncos won, 17-13.
He led the Broncos to a game-tying FG with 1:34 to play against San Diego. Broncos won in overtime, 16-13.
The Vikings kicked a go-ahead FG with three minutes to play against Denver. In those final three minutes Tebow helped the Broncos to game-tying and game-winning field goals, as Broncos won again, 35-32.
Check and mate.
If Bears fans see Tim Tebowing at any point during or after the game it means the wrong prayers were answered.
Caleb Hanie has six interceptions and has been sacked 11 times in the last two games.
That formula won't work.
Frankly, the Bears should consider playing the first half in goalline formation. Why not see what happens? It has to be more effective at limiting interceptions and sacks.
And if Martz doesn't do that, he needs to get Hanie rolling out of the pocket, keep his decisions simple, and let him scramble or throw it away the rest of the time.
Most importantly, Hanie needs to be handing the ball to Bears' running backs.
Marion Barber and Kahlil Bell have no choice but to make an impact; Hanie needs help if the Bears are going to win.
The offense doesn't have to score points every time (and they won't). But when Chicago has the ball they should grind down the clock and limit turnovers.
Sadly, that's been the plan the past two games and the Bears can't seem to do it.
Seriously: Bears should use the goalline formation every play. Name one good reason why not. It can't be worse.
Barber is the punisher in the Chicago running game. His brute strength is the weapon. And Marion needs to summon the Barbarian.
He rushed for 63 yards on 10 carries against Oakland, but just 44 yards on 14 carries against the Chiefs.
He tried to run outside and was too shifty against Kansas City. He's most effective straight up the gut.
And the Bears want him to bust through lines quickly, because running up the middle will slow down the pass rush Hanie is certain to see.
If Chicago is going to win, he needs to run between the tackles, deliver hits and produce first downs. That keeps the clock moving and inches closer to points.
Kahlil Bell has good speed. He still owns the Chicago rookie record for the longest run, with his 72-yard scamper against the Philadelphia Eagles in 2009.
He needs to make the most of his limited touches as backup to Marion Barber.
And he plans to.
"This is something I've been waiting for...an opportunity to play," he said. "Whatever they ask me to do, I'll do. If they need me to come in for a quarter or whatever, I'm just here to try to pick up the slack."
Slack? That sums up the Bears offense.
What Chicago needs from Bell is 50 yards and a touchdown.
It's one thing to be less talented. Nothing wrong with being out-classed by a superior athlete.
But in the NFL, stupid is a choice.
I don't know how the Bears coaches plan to fix it, but I suggest an angry letter-writing campaign. Here are some samples:
Dear Marion Barber,
KNOW WHERE YOU ARE ON THE FIELD. If you had known where you were in relation to the line of scrimmage last week, you would have a touchdown reception and the Bears might still be tied with the Chiefs, 10-10. Instead, after a career of playing professional football, you forgot. Or didn't know. Or whatever. Point is, that's your fault and you cost the Bears seven points (and the game) for a dumb reason.
Best, Leon Lett
Dear Brian Urlacher,
I know you'll be in the Hall of Fame. Neat. Next time you get your hands on the ball in the end zone please don't bat it directly to the opposing player beneath you. I know you believe in old school "knock it down" theory when it comes to those plays. But when it hits you in the hands, you could also try another time-tested theory: Hang on to the damn ball.
Sincerely, Keyshawn Johnson
Dear Caleb Hanie,
Where to begin? RUN. And try to avoid intentional grounding in the end zone—that's a safety. RUN. Don't let go of the ball unless you have a clear target in sight. Or maybe RUN? If you don't know who to throw to, look at your jersey and try to find one the same color. And if you can't find anyone, RUN. Want an endorsement? You're in luck, because Nike called. They said: Just RUN.
Chicago won't run away from the Broncos on offense, so Devin may need to run away from the Denver coverage team to score points.
Actually, Hester doesn't have to score. But he needs to put the Bears in good field position when he has a chance.
The Chiefs did a great job of limiting his opportunities by punting out of bounds or with enough hang time to force a fair catch.
But Devin still managed a 44-yard return against Kansas City that set up Chicago's only points of the game.
If Hester can give the Bears a short field to work with, and a chance at field goals even once or twice, it could be the difference.
Bears fans would be happy to win 3-0.
It all counts. We're not picky.
One of the few bright spots for Chicago last week was Henry Melton, who provided interior pressure with his ability to rush from the defensive tackle position.
He notched his sixth sack of the year and his third in the last four games.
And despite a knee injury, Julius Peppers has also been consistently strong all season.
He has four sacks in the last four games and can line up at both defensive end positions, as well as move to tackle and rush from the middle.
It's a fact: Peppers is a nightmare for offensive coordinators.
And the Bears game plan of generating defensive line pressure while containing the quarterback forces offenses to make mistakes against Chicago's linebackers and secondary.
It's particularly good against running quarterbacks—just ask Mike Vick.
The Bears will need the defensive line to break through and keep Tebow's hands tied if they expect to win.
The Bears expect greatness at linebacker.
And Brian Urlacher and Lance Briggs usually bring it.
Against Denver's run-heavy attack, linebacker play is critical because the Broncos use double- and triple-options with both running backs and Tebow.
And Timmy doesn't throw often, but when he does it's been effective, as teams are expecting the run. But great linebackers can smell a trap, and Urlacher and Briggs are among the game's best.
They'll need to be at their best for four quarters (especially that last one...) to beat Denver.
Free safety Chris Conte is starting to contribute consistently against the run. His first priority is to prevent the deep play, something Denver tries several times a game. But his strength in taking down running backs has improved each week.
Cornerbacks Charles Tillman and Tim Jennings are good bets to play physical against opposing receivers. They'll need to stay on their toes against Demaryius Thomas and Eric Decker; the Broncos have had success using double-moves to fake the run, then breaking deep for the long pass.
For Bears cornerbacks, that means a tough jam at the line is a good start, but they can't give up on routes.
Denver lulls defenses to sleep before going for the home run.
Strong play by the secondary will stifle Denver's running game and stop the big play, too. But in the Bears defense, it's also their job to help create turnovers.
Tebow only has one interception, largely because he doesn't throw much and makes good decisions when he does. But a strip or forced fumble isn't too much to ask from this crew, as they're usually the second and third players to reach ball carriers.
Whether it's Earl Bennett's orange shoes, the alternate jerseys or something else entirely, the Bears should do anything it takes to bring good luck and spark hope.
After all, the Broncos have Tim Tebow, whose teammates have faith he will lead them to wins.
The Bears have had nothing but knee-twisting, heart-crushing, vomit-inducing bad luck for two weeks.
Chicago wants something to believe in, too. And it ain't Caleb Hanie.
So cross your fingers, put on lucky socks, jerseys, shoes or (ahem) whatever works for you.
The Bears need it.