I can still hope Andy Reid will remember the success he had running the ball, can't I?
I can still hope Donovan McNabb has one more big game in him, can't I?
I can still hope the playoffs will keep table six open for our party of 53, can't I?
Well, maybe not.
Ever since the Phillies won the World Series, it's like the sports gods are playing a game on us Eagles fans. We've been terrible ever since that late October night, and even when we had a three-game win streak, it was taken away with a loss on a pass an inch short.
It's like there was a slip-up, and that the Phillies weren't meant to win. But now that they did, it's time to punish us again.
So I ask you, sports gods, to please give us Eagles fans some Christmas joy. I know you aren't that evil, right? Please tell me you have one big gift with a pretty green bow labeled with Eagles' fans' names on it.
Let the Buccaneers fall to the Oakland Raiders. They already had their Super Bowl. Let the Vikings lose to the Giants. They don't deserve to win with a quarterback like that. If you feel bad for the Vikings not ever winning a single NFC North title, then let the Bears lose to the Texans. They don't deserve to win off their kicker every game. It's not fair.
But most of all, let the Eagles beat the 'Boys.
I know you've all had enough with Tony, Terrell, Jason, Wade, and Jessica. We all have. I mean, they haven't won a playoff game since 1996, so what's one more year, eh? They've done nothing but make a mockery of the NFL, so don't reward them.
With signings like Adam "Don't call me Pacman, but let me act like Pacman" Jones, they don't deserve to get to the playoffs. Teach Terrell a lesson that acting like he does gets a team nowhere but the couch.
Give Andy Reid a chance to run the ball again. Give Donovan the opportunity to make one more run. Just give 'em a chance.
Forget about the World Series title. It wasn't a slip-up. It truly was meant to be. And so is an Eagles playoff berth, and beyond.
With your help, sports gods, the Eagles will get into the playoffs. Once they're there, you can let them do the rest. They'll take care of business. They'll make you proud for your decision.
So go help 'em, will ya?