Ten Things That Will Happen This Weekend: Week Five

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Ten Things That Will Happen This Weekend: Week Five

It's Friday, which means another round of weekend predictions by me. Also, it means last night was Thursday night—how about the season premiere of The Office? Oh, right—and USC lost, so I guess it was a pretty big night overall.

Anyway, last week I took a 6-3 lead (my points to Tim Tebow's total TDs) into the weekend, so let's see where I stand now. Here are last week's picks.

  • Missouri did not triple Buffalo's score. They only doubled it, winning 42-21. (-1)
  • Auburn did not lose to LSU by two possessions. (-1)
  • The Big Ten did not go undefeated. (-1)
  • Texas had put Rice well out of reach before the second half started. I did watch a fair amount of this game, and I must say my prediction may not have been so enormously wrong had Rice converted on one of their 12 (yes, TWELVE) plays inside the Texas 10-yard line down 21-3 in the second quarter. That would've made the game 21-10, given Rice some confidence, and who knows. Oh well...that definitely didn't happen. (-1)
  • Northwestern sits at No. 34 in the Coaches Poll. Close, but not really. (-1)
  • Graham Harrell threw for 322 yards. Army (63), Navy (89), and Air Force (138) combined for 290 yards. (+1)
  • Not only did Georgia not gain first-place votes, they actually lost votes in the coaches' poll (1,393 points to 1,388 points). (-1)
  • There were TWO special teams touchdowns in the Florida-Tennessee game. (+1)
  • Terrelle Pryor is no longer "The Future" quarterback of Ohio State. His time as a starter has officially arrived, and what better way to kick it off than with a four-TD performance. (+1)
  • Corso almost picked LSU, but at the last moment he almost shockingly decided to pick Auburn. And there was much rejoicing...for a while. (+1)

OUCH. Easily my worst week to date, going a pathetic 4/10. Week Three saw me go 5/10, gaining no net points, but this week I actually lost two points, bringing me down to four points. On top of that, Tebow threw two more touchdowns, bringing his total to five.

For those who respond more positively to Bulleted Statistics, this is what the standings look like after Week Four:

  • Tim Tebow: 5
  • Ned Dutton: 4

This is embarrassing. I really need to pick it up this week. I didn't feel my picks were that outrageous last week, but apparently I need to mix it up a little differently this week.

So, without further ado, Ten Things That Will Happen This Weekend:

 

1. Beanie Wells and Terrelle Pryor will combine for 350 all-purpose yards against Minnesota.

Ever since Pryor started to get more playing time, Ohio State fans have dreamed about a Pryor/Wells backfield. After not seeing it in either game against the Trojans (USC and Troy), Buckeye fans will finally get to see them on the field together in the Big Ten opener against the Golden Gophers.

I predict Pryor's Passing Yards + Pryor's Rushing Yards + Well's Rushing Yards = 350+.

 

2. Javon Ringer will enter the Heisman conversation.

Right now, ESPN is having a good time talking about those Big 12 quarterbacks. For a while, Mark Sanchez was mysteriously in the conversation as well, but he should fade out with the loss this week.

Ringer will put up another big game against Indiana, and with no new statistics from Chase Daniel or Graham Harrell to look at (Missouri and Texas Tech have bye weeks), Heisman-hungry analysts will finally start to acknowledge the fantastic season Ringer is having.

 

3. Notre Dame will go back to their corner.

Since Charlie Weis has had a chance to implement his recruits into his system, Notre Dame hasn't done well, and as a result the rest of the college football community has happily directed them to the proverbial corner.

They squeaked by San Diego State in their first game this year, and then when they beat Michigan the Domers got excited. Last week, Michigan State gave them a little dose of reality, and a loss to Purdue this week will silence Notre Dame fans (Lou Holtschz excluded) for a while.

 

4. Michigan will improve to 1-3.

I use the word improve because, with every Michigan loss, my mood improves.

 

5. Penn State and Illinois will combine for over 80 points.

This will not be your good old-fashioned "three yards and a cloud of dust" Big Ten football game. These teams like to score, and they are good at it. The susceptibility of each team's defense also makes this plausible.

 

6. Washington will finally win a game.

Arguably the best winless team in the nation, Washington plays Stanford this week, and the three weeks of frustration Washington has dealt with this year will be taken out on the Cardinal.

 

7. West Virginia will not cover the spread.

As I write this, I see West Virginia is favored by 15 points against intrastate rival Marshall. (Is it sad that as I write the word Marshall I have Chris Berman's voice echoing through my brain? I think so.)

West Virginia is clearly down, both in talent and in spirits, from where they have been the last couple of years. Despite West Virginia's home-field advantage, I think Marshall will hang with/possibly beat West Virginia this week. We'll see.

 

8. Duke will beat Virginia.

In the least-cared about game of the ACC slate this week, Duke hosts Virginia. Both teams are bad, but the knee-jerk reaction tells me to go with the team who is usually much worse than they are this year, because they'll value the win more. In this game, that team would be Duke.

 

9. There will be a defensive touchdown in the Alabama/Georgia game.

This kind of tremendously-stupid-'til-it's-right prediction paid off for me last week, so why not keep it going?

SEC teams have a tough enough time scoring touchdowns against each other when they are on offense, so what makes me think they'll find a way to score on defense? Well, in case you missed it, Alabama took two interceptions to the house last week, and Georgia took one back earlier in the season. Hey, it could happen.

 

10. Corso will pick Georgia.

Last year ESPN First Take had a cat predict winners of the NCAA Tournament, after years of watching Corso predict winners of college football games. I really don't know which brain has a more logical thought process.

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