NFL Bold Predictions: Week One

Joe WillettSenior Writer ISeptember 4, 2008

The NFL season is already underway, but while the game isn't official yet, I have decided that there is time for one last prediction article.

People have been putting up their bold predictions for the way the season will fall, and I decided that I will jump on and give one final set of bold predictions for the season.

So here we go, a final set of predictions that will make you say, "What is this guy thinking?"

  • Chad Ocho Cinco will get bored of his name and tired of signing it on everything so he will change his name back to Johnson by Week Eight.
  • The Patriots will lose in Week Six to the San Diego Chargers, 14-2 is where they will finish on the season.
  • Peyton Manning will star in more commercials than he throws touchdown passes.
  • Eli Manning appears in half of said commercials, which means that he will also accomplish this feat.
  • The Chicago Bears will take the crown from the '72 Dolphins by going undefeated and winning the Super Bowl. (One can hope right?)
  • Chad Pennington runs so far back in an attempt to get away from opposing defensive linemen that on at least one occasion he will not have the arm strength to make it back to the line of, like, 10 yards back.
  • My fantasy league fails completely because our draft is tomorrow and the season starts tonight.
  • Brett Favre will cement his legacy by lengthening the interception record to such a point that no quarterback will surpass it.
  • He will do the same exact thing with touchdowns; the man throws 30 each every year.
  • The Miami Dolphins will at least double their win total from last season.  For most teams, this is a great upswing, for the Dolphins, they are 2-14, so if they keep it up, in two years, they will be a .500 team...and in three years, they will be perfect.
  • Adrian Peterson will rush for nearly 1,500 yards.
  • LaDainian Tomlinson will rush for over 1,500.
  • The Giants will win tonight...okay I'm cheating a little, they are already winning 10-0.
  • Devin Hester will set the NFL record for career returns this season, with five combined punt and kickoff returns...He would have had more, but most teams would rather give the Bears the ball with great field position.

Now it's time for some over/unders for the upcoming ready to place your bets.

  • Tom Brady to Randy Moss +/- 20
  • Brett Favre interceptions +/- 15
  • Weeks before the calls for Kyle Orton to be replaced +/- 6
  • Number of times Chris Collinsworth makes me want to commit suicide +/- 100
  • Number of weeks before the Dolphins secure the top draft pick +/- 13
  • Number of times Chad Ocho Cinco gets mad because somebody refers to him as "Chad Johnson" +/- 38

Hope you all enjoyed this bold predictions article, starting now, every Friday, there is going to be a new "Bold Predictions" article coming at you with predictions for that week's games.

Just so you know, I am in full awareness that this isn't Friday, but hey, I was giddy.

I'm Joe W.

Joe also writes for, a basketball fan's site.