The Raw Retrospect (8/9/10)

Welcome to the second installment of “The Raw Retrospect.”

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the format, it’s as basic as John Cena’s move set. I’ll offer commentary on the matches, promos and backstage segments. Feel free to offer your thoughts in the comment section below.

Let’s get to it. This is “The Raw Retrospect.”

This week’s Raw started off with Bret Hart in the ring, who had missed the past two weeks because he’d been “training.” For those of you who don’t know, he was actually on his honeymoon with his third wife. Let’s hope he has better luck than Ric Flair.

Hart called out Edge and Jericho, and Y2J was out first. Hart told Jericho that quitting the team will only hurt himself in the end and that he should join Team WWE. Unsurprisingly, Jericho’s answer was “still no.”

Jericho told Hart that he is a phony who knows Team WWE can’t beat Nexus without the help of Edge and Jericho, unless Cena turns into Superman like usual. OK, that last part didn’t actually happen.

Edge came out and told Hart how he had idolized him growing up and agreed to rejoin Team WWE. They shook hands before Edge tried to kick Bret in the gut ala Vince McMahon prior to Wrestlemania. I guess Hart can’t take too many bumps though.

Anyway, Hart got Edge in the sharpshooter before Jericho got a thumb in the eye.

I loved watching Bret back in the day, but I think it’s time for him to get out of that ring. He can’t sell moves anymore, and he’s not good on the microphone.

It’s not his fault. He did have a stroke, and he’s over 50-years old. I’m just saying.

Natalya runs out, freaking out about something. The Hart Dynasty is being attacked by Nexus backstage. That’s a shame. I was really hoping they would find their way onto Team WWE. I like watching them work, especially Kidd.

Backstage after the attack, Hart is ready to go after Nexus. Cena tells Hart to take care of his family, and he’ll take care of Nexus. Super Cena to the rescue.

The Miz vs. Evan Bourne (Rating: *)

This match should be on the SummerSlam card, but I love both of these guys, so I’ll take it where I can get it. Ugh. Maybe not.

Four minutes into the match, The Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale and got the win. Ladies and gentlemen, I think it’s official. Evan Bourne’s “push” is over.

The match was solid for what it was. The highlight was a move by Bourne that I can best describe as a backwards jump from the turnbuckle over Miz’s head into a hurricanrana and pin. Awesome move to see for sure.

Post match, Miz got on the mic.

No matter who wins at SummerSlam, he doesn’t care. He will become champion. I like Miz, so I wouldn’t mind seeing that, but Sheamus needs a lengthy reign. He’s been impressive during his second run with the belt.

Slam of the Week: Melina returns. This couldn’t have come at a better time. The divas division is in shambles, and Melina can only improve it.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina (Rating: ½*)

I was actually expecting this match to be pretty good—by WWE standards at least—but there were two very noticeable botches and some sloppy ring work. Fox couldn’t flip Melina for a backbreaker mid-match, and Melina’s last call sunset bomb looked pretty bad as well.

Melina’s return match wasn’t the best, but I expected some ring rust after an eight month layoff. Either way, her return is good for two reasons: her ring work and her entrance. Welcome back, Melina.

Beth Phoenix, we hope to see you soon too.

Backstage, The Great Khali challenged Wade Barrett to a match. I smell a five-star rating! Or not.

During commercial, the anonymous GM announced Melina vs. Fox for SummerSlam.

Why not just wait until we are back from commercial? Anyway, I have faith that match will be much better than the one we saw tonight.

Backstage again, Edge and Jericho discussed whether to rejoin Team WWE or take out Hart and Cena. They went with the latter.

I love when these two work together.

We get another backstage segment with John Morrison and R-Truth that wasn’t very good. It was just awkward, and they didn’t seem to have great chemistry.

Mark Henry walked in and said his match against Ted DiBiase will be his “audition for the team.”

No, no, no! Keep Henry away from SummerSlam!

There was another backstage segment with Wade Barrett nodding at the TV screen, and the rest of Nexus leaving the room.

Hm, I wonder where they’re going? By the way, who else noticed that we got four consecutive backstage segments? I guess that’s why the matches are all less than five minutes.

Back from commercial, we are supposed to see Henry-Dibiase. Dibiase came out with Maryse. My, my, my, Maryse is looking as good as ever tonight. As I continue to gawk at my future wife, Henry came out, but is attacked by Nexus. No match takes place.

This segment proved two things. First, it took place simply so we could be graced with Maryse’s presence. And second, Ted DiBiase has absolutely no direction whatsoever right now. Something about his character needs to be tweaked. He’s just lost in the shuffle.

Back from commercial break, Sheamus came out to the ring. He said that last week he had been scared of what he might do Randy Orton, not vice versa.

He also said “arses.” It appears that “r” instead of the “s” makes it OK in PG land.

Sheamus then showed a video of his path of destruction before Orton came out.

I think that was the fastest Orton has ever walked to the ring. Second to Undertaker and maybe Drew McIntyre, Orton has the slowest ring entrance ever. Sorry for the digression.

Sheamus and Orton banter back and forth for a while when Orton says Sheamus has never beaten him. Apparently, Orton forgot about the Royal Rumble.

After a solid promo from both wrestlers (Sheamus is especially good for being relatively new to the big stage), we get a message from the anonymous GM. If Orton loses their title match, he will go to the back of the line. If Sheamus isn’t scared of Orton, he should do something “right now!”

Sheamus goes to leave, but the two begin to brawl. Sheamus misses the brogue kick, Orton hits his backbreaker and sets up for the punt. He starts to go for it, stops, stares and leaves.

Orton grabs the belt before tossing it at Sheamus and leaving. Sheamus has a “WTF?” look on his face. I love the buildup for this match. Both wrestlers are looking really strong heading into SummerSlam, and I’m honestly not sure who will win.

Back from commercial and in the ring are the six remaining NXT rookies from Season Two.

Percy Watson, Lucky Cannon and Kaval vs. Michael McGillicutty, Husky Harris and Alex Riley (Rating: *)

This match came out of nowhere, but I guess it is the WWE’s way of making up for the debacle that was the “kissing contest” on NXT last week. If you haven’t seen in it, you are lucky. It was terrible, and it took up more than 20 minutes of a 60-minute show!

As for the actual match, it ended when Husky Harris hit his running senton on Kaval for the win. Yes, Harris beat Kaval. Again. Then, Sheamus attacked the NXT Season Two rookies and hit his finisher on Kaval.

I assume this is the WWE’s way of burying Kaval. Remember, folks, if you had success outside of the WWE, there’s a good chance Vince McMahon hates you.

Back from commercial, William Regal and Zack Ryder are in the ring.

R-Truth and John Morrison vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder (Rating: ¾*)

This match followed the theme of the night, no matches go more than four minutes. Regal and Ryder jobbed in this one, which is really a shame because they’re both talented. I think Ryder could benefit from a move to Smackdown! where he could really contribute to the midcard.

The match itself was nothing special, but Morrison was the star. He got the pin on Ryder with Starship Pain. Ouch, that looked painful when Morrison landed on Ryder’s neck.

After the match, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler go over the SummerSlam card. At least on paper, this card doesn’t look nearly as good as last year.

No feud is as personal as the Jeff Hardy/CM Punk feud that culminated at SummerSlam in 2009, and I’m not too excited about Kane/Mysterio. A late addition—maybe Miz/Bourne, Ziggler/Kingston, or both—could steal the show.

Back from commercial, it looked like we’re getting a “divas swimsuit spectacular” or something like that. Here we go.

Eve and Gail Kim vs. Jillian and Maryse vs. The Bella Twins (Rating: ¼*)

The match was Team Babyface vs. The Platinum Blondes vs. The Twins Who Can’t Wrestle. If this match didn’t take place in PG Land, I’m sure I would have enjoyed it, but the divas wrestled in one-piece bathing suits. One pieces!

Listen, Vince, kids see worse stuff at the beach, and the divas already wear skimpier outfits when they wrestle. You’re killing me here!

Nothing notable happened in the match except that one of the Bellas actually picked up a win. Yay for that, I guess.

As the Bellas celebrated, Tamina came out and blocked guest referee Santino Marella to prevent him from getting out of the ring. Awkward moment here when Tamina, looking more jacked than ever, pressed herself up against Santino.

I’m not sure where this is going, but it kind of reminded me of the Santino/Beth relationship back in the day. If it means more Santino, I’m all for it. He’s hilarious.

Backstage, Nexus took out Khali. Yes, there is a God! No Khali at SummerSlam.

After the break, Nexus came out and Barrett talked about how Nexus will permanently take over Raw after SummerSlam.

If Nexus loses, I riot. That will kill ALL of the momentum they’ve ever had.

Sheffield took the mic and says “Micker” McMahon when listing the people they’ve taken out. It’s inevitable that Sheffield screws up once per promo.

Otunga is last, and he says that, “You’re either next us or against us.” Nexus is getting huge heat. Don’t ruin a good thing, Vince.

Backstage, Hart and Cena ran into Miz, who said he had known they needed his help, and it was just a matter of time before they came looking for him. Miz goaded Hart and Cena into asking him, “Are you in or out? “ Miz will let them know Sunday. I don’t think he’ll join, but who knows.

After the commercial, it is main event time.

Bret Hart and John Cena vs. Edge and Chris Jericho (Rating: ¼*)

This was more of an angle than a match, which I expected because it started after 10:00 (Central time). The theme of the match was that Nexus would attack Cena, but lay off of Edge and Jericho. That was until Jericho inadvertently knocked Barrett off the apron.

Then, chaos erupted with Nexus attacking everyone, including Jericho and Edge. Cena and Hart cleared the ring before Morrison and Truth come out to even the odds. Edge and Jericho appeared to leave, but ran back in the ring to apparently rejoin Team WWE.

I should point out that the crowd is ON FIRE. Huge chants and stomping from the crowd, and the cameras are shaking! Unbelievable.

Edge attacked Nexus, and all hell broke loose in the ring before Nexus fled. The crowd went insane. Nexus and Team WWE pointed at each other and bantered back and forth as Nexus was among the crowd.

Huge Cena chants and “You suck!” chants at Nexus. Cena’s music played as Team WWE stood tall in the ring to end the show.

This was a great way to end the show. This feud has been very refreshing for Cena’s character.

Final Thoughts

If you watched this show for quality wrestling, you were probably incredibly disappointed because no match went longer than four minutes. But if you watched Raw for the buildup to SummerSlam, you were probably quite pleased.

Tonight’s episode has me very intrigued about Sheamus/Orton, and the Nexus/Team WWE match is as hot as ever. Plus, we now have a diva who can actually wrestle competing at SummerSlam. Had the wrestling been a bit better, I would have given this show a very high rating, but the short matches brought it down a bit. Tonight’s Raw gets a 6.5/10.

Stock Up

Team WWE vs. Nexus: Like I just said, this feud was hot throughout the night, especially at the end. Hopefully, that continues at SummerSlam.

Stock Down

Evan Bourne: About a month or two ago, I think most fans believed Evan Bourne was in the midst of a big push. Today, I think most fans can agree we were wrong. Bourne got squashed by Miz in less than four minutes this week, and unless he’s thrown into a match against Miz or onto Team WWE, he won’t be on the SummerSlam card. Then again, if Bourne does make it onto Cena’s team, I could be totally wrong about this.

HOW (Highlight of the Week)

“Micker” McMahon.

LOW (Lowlight of the Week)

The divas wearing one pieces. Enough said.

That’s it for the second installment of “The Raw Retrospect.” Please comment below with your thoughts on the show as well as my take on it. See you next week.