I knew good things would happen if I could somehow maintain my healthy lifestyle.
Too bad it was Chris Myers who had to pass along the news after Jacoby Ellsbury stole a base in Game Two of the World Series. Maybe someone with a less grating voice perhaps?
So we live in a country where the CEO of a fast food chain wants to get us fatter. God bless America.
Anyone besides me tune out of BC/VA Tech with 10 minutes left in the fourth after giving BC up for dead?
How nice must it be to be a TRUE Boston sports fan (NO BANDWAGONERS) today.
Anyone ever seen a bitter beer face like the one on South Florida coach Jim Leavitt after that loss to Rutgers last Thursday?
A special "Thank you" to the Cialis advertisers. I was wondering what my underlying problem in life was, and now I know:
I have Priapism.
Of course it goes without saying that the following picks AGAINST THE SPREAD are for RECREATIONAL USE ONLY. The Liver's picks are to cover the spread, not straight-up winners. Only Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Kiefer Sutherland, Michael Vick, Bill Belichick, Roger Goodell, and Travis Henry's nine kids and nine mommas would be drunk enough to question the Esteemed Liver's picks.
Last week's record: 9-5
2007 record against the spread: 45-51-7
Sunday October 28, 2007
Cleveland at St. Louis (+3)
Why do the Browns have to win this year?
That first round pick the Cowboys own seems to be slipping further down the board. Cleveland is 3-3, and St. Louis hasn't won a game yet.
I really hope that Scott Linehan doesn't lose his job over this injury-plagued season. He deserves a chance with a healthy team.
Pick: St. Louis
N.Y. Giants vs. Miami (+9 ½) (London)
Why London? No one overseas gives a damn about American Football. Why cheat the ticket-buying American fans that have made this league what it is?
And that's to say nothing of the teams who actually have to play.
Roger Goodell wants to put a Super Bowl in London? He wants to put a FRANCHISE in London? Anyone out there cringing besides me?
There's nothing wrong with the idea, but why force it? If you're going to put a franchise outside of America, put one in Mexico City. But London? Seriously?
Between this and his softness VideoGate, Goodell has seriously eroded the culture of excellence that he'd built his new commissionership on.
That aside, the Giants have rebounded nicely from an 0-2 start, and are nipping at the Cowboys' heels in the NFC East.
As for the Dolphins...I think Jason Taylor put it best when he said, "We can't win in this country, maybe we can win in another country."
Pick: N.Y. Giants
So you're giving me a pick 'em with the possibility that Tarvaris Jackson DOESN'T play and Kelly Holcomb DOES?
Indianapolis at Carolina (+6 ½)
I feel it necessary to remind all these Patriots bandwagoners that the COLTS are the defending Super Bowl champions, and play in a REAL DIVISION.
They don't beat up on the Jets, Bills and Dolphins of the world.
Indy's performance against the Jags reinforced the fact that Bob Sanders is the sparkplug of that Colts defense. Carolina comes off their bye, but they still have David Carr and Interceptaverde at QB.
Normally I'd worry that the Colts could have a look-ahead game and Steve Smith could single-handedly beat them, but they have ...get this...the top-ranked defense against the pass in the NFL.
Anyone who predicted that after the mass exodus of Colts defensive players, especially in the secondary, PLEASE call me and tell me who wins the Super Bowl.
What's more, they get to feast on either Carr or Testaverde this week. That's like asking me whether I prefer Johnny Walker Blue or Glenlivet Archive 21-Year-Old.
Detroit (+4 ½) at Chicago
And for the NFC game of the week I give you...the Lions at the Bears?
No seriously. This rivalry is starting to become a RIVALRY again.
For a while it was just Roy Williams shooting his mouth off. Now it's Brian Urlacher and Tommie Harris shooting their mouths off too.
Of course it helps that Detroit is halfway decent, has a better record than the Bears, AND put up a record number of fourth quarter points (34) in beating Chicago on September 30th.
Pittsburgh comes off a close loss at Denver, where turnovers and getting away from the run game spelled doom.
Cincinnati got a much-needed victory over the hapless Jets last week to SOMEWHAT keep them in the AFC North race. If they really want to keep afloat they might want to fix that bleeding gash of a defense.
Anyone catch that ridiculously entertaining but bogus interview where Keyshawn Johnson accused his cousin Chad of being a team cancer?
This coming from a guy who bashed teammates (Wayne Chrebet), wrote a book called Just Throw Me the Damn Ball, and was kicked off a defending Super Bowl winner because he was a pain in the ass.
That's like me accusing Mel Gibson of having a drinking problem.
Oakland (+7 ½) at Tennessee
The Titans nearly blew a huge lead to Houston last week, but squeaked out a win thanks to Rob Bironas's leg. The Amazing Vince will be back under center, which explains the high line.
The Raiders defense has been playing well, but the offense is having problems finishing drives. Sounds like the Raiders from last year...only this team DOESN'T have a former bed-and-breakfast owner calling offensive plays.
That one never gets old.
Both teams are AFC surprises. Oakland is still alive in a very open division and Tennessee has a 4-2 record in the toughest division in football.
Jacksonville (+4) at Tampa Bay
David Garrard is out for a month—and anyone who saw backup QB Quinn Gray on Monday night (9-24 for 56 yards, 2 INTs, and a fumble) knows that there's a GOOD reason why Drew Bledsoe got a phone call this week.
To Drew's credit, he said no. That's also what Jags fans will be saying while shaking their heads after the game.
Pick: Tampa Bay
Buffalo (+3) at N.Y. Jets
Boy that Detroit/Chicago game was good. For some reason, that really tired me out.
Pick: N.Y. Jets
Houston at San Diego (OFF)
I love the game of football...but this game should NOT be played this weekend under any circumstances ANYWHERE.
I would hope that Roger Goodell would understand that. Maybe you'd have to push back the playoffs and cut a useless week of Super Bowl hype—but would anyone miss it?
Instead, the NFL and Qualcomm Stadium are kicking out people WHO HAVE LOST THEIR HOMES in order to play A FOOTBALL GAME.
Then again, Goodell has been doing a spectacular job of disappointing the hell out of me for some time now.
Pick: San Diego
New Orleans at San Francisco (+3)
New Orleans has won two in a row after that 0-4 start, and could still compete in their division race, as Carolina and Tampa Bay aren't world beaters.
Meanwhile the once-chic the 49ers are suffering through a rough stretch, with injuries and Frank Gore's struggles killing their offense.
Having Alex Smith back should help, but he's going to be rusty. Both teams are 2-4, and the loser here is basically screwed...BUT you're never really screwed in the NFC.
Pick: New Orleans
Forget the normal lines—I want to see Vegas putting an under/over on how many points Belicheat runs up each game.
You've got to love a scumbag who's got a 42-14 FOURTH QUARTER LEAD against an 0-6 team and puts his STARTING QB back in the game because his backup throws an INT...and then calls three pass plays.
Someone defend that.
You think Belichick got his ass kicked on the playground as a kid—and that this whole cheating scandal has dredged up some painful childhood memories?
I think if I were that much of a poor, sorry wretch I'd be running up scores against the world too. That's all that pathetic little man has in his life.
I adore how people forget that the Pats' opponents have a combined record of 11-27, and that New England plays in the WORST division in ALL OF football.
That aside, I hope the Faketriots blow up the Redskins and do the Cowboys a favor.
Then we can talk about the most anticipated regular season matchup ever next week...and the ultimate battle between all that is good in pro football and all that is bad in pro football.
Monday October 29, 2007
Green Bay (+3) at Denver
I was going to say that Denver will be a hot spot Monday night with both the NFL and the World Series in town...but the Rockies might be delaying the inevitable by this time Monday.
Green Bay is coming off their bye and won't be strangers to the weather, but Denver is fighting to stay alive in their division.
Jason Elam has kicked a game-winner in each of the Broncos three wins. And wouldn't you know it—those darn Broncos are laying three.
I feel a John Bender moment coming...
"Isn't life swell?" "