1. New Orleans Saints
Last Week: 1
The Saints, like the Patriots during their 18-1 run, are looking more and more beatable as they head down the stretch. I wonder if Sean Payton has the chops to pull this off.
2. Indianapolis Colts
Last Week: 2
The Colts' run continues, but the elephant in the room has clearly become what they’re going to do for these next few games without Jim Sorgi’s mopping expertise.
3. Minnesota Vikings
Last Week: 3
Good bounce-back game against the Bengals. Offensively, they look a little flat without Percy Harvin, but Antoine Winfield fills the playmaker hole left by E.J. Henderson nicely.
4. San Diego Chargers
Last Week: 4
I have a hard time buying a Norv Turner playoff run, but stranger things have happened. Like Norv Turner getting this job in the first place.
5. Philadelphia Eagles
Last Week: 7
Lost in the fact that their offense was awesome was that their defense was atrocious. It’s always feast or famine for the Eagles, and right now they’re feasting like Andy Reid at a buffet.
6. Green Bay Packers
Last Week: 8
The Packers have gone from contender to joke to contender already this season. They’ve basically got the wild card sewn up, and as bad as they’ve been, they can beat one of the first round playoff teams.
7. Cincinnati Bengals
Last Week: 5
Tough weekend for the Bengals, who are still in great position. It’s not an easy stretch, though, including a matchup with the Chargers this week. I know because Ochocinco Tweeted it.
8. New England Patriots
Last Week: 10
They move up based on a win basically locking up a playoff spot, but it’s time to give up on the Patriots as a top contender this season. If you don’t believe me, ask Randy Moss.
9. Arizona Cardinals
Last Week: 6
So maybe it wasn’t 42-0 like I predicted last week, but it might as well have been. The Cardinals are a feast or famine team and are going to need a run like they had last year to do any damage.
10. Dallas Cowboys
Last Week: 9
So making Tony Romo the holder didn’t solve the Cowboys’ or Nick Folk’s ills? You know what that means...time to bring in Jessica Simpson.
11. Denver Broncos
Last Week: 11
Nobody expected them to win this week, but with all the action he was getting, they should’ve put Brandon Marshall on defense. Maybe he would’ve had 20 picks too.
12. New York Jets
Last Week: 15
It’s nice to see Kellen Clemens finally taking his job as the Jets’ quarterback seriously. Even if it is several years too late.
13. Baltimore Ravens
Last Week: 16
The Ravens are coming off a “Feel Good About Yourself” game against the Lions, but they’re still just jockeying for position in a crowded wild card scene.
14. New York Giants
Last Week: 12
15. Pittsburgh Steelers
Last Week: 13
So let me get this straight: You’ve lost to the Raiders and the Browns? The Browns, of all teams? I don’t care if you won the Super Bowl last year—you’re done.
16. San Francisco 49ers
Last Week: 22
A big win keeps the 49ers (theoretically) in the playoff picture, though they’re going to need a lot of help. And no, I don’t mean Mike Singletary taking his pants off again.
17. Tennessee Titans
Last Week: 19
The Titans won yet again, but Vince Young hurt his leg again, and he’s looking awfully fragile down the stretch. At least they still have Kerry Collins—who has been horrible this year.
18. Jacksonville Jaguars
Last Week: 14
The Jags lost the biggest game of their season, but they’re still actually in the driver’s seat for a playoff berth. Look for them to plow into their three remaining fans along the way.
19. Atlanta Falcons
Last Week: 18
They had every chance to beat the Saints, but without Matt Ryan and Michael Turner, it wasn’t going to happen. Tony Gonzalez is still probably just relieved that he’s not still a Chief.
20. Chicago Bears
Last Week: 20
Par for the course for Cutler and the Bears, who are getting used to Jay’s vacant sourpuss look after every drive. They should make that the team logo.
23. Houston Texans
Last Week: 21
One win out of the way; they only need to go 2-1 now for my prediction to be accurate. Not that I’m paying attention to the Texans of all teams right now.
24. Seattle Seahawks
Last Week: 21
Over the past few days, the Seahawks have been called talent deficient, inconsistent, pathetic, pitiful, and unprofessional. And that’s just what they’re saying about themselves.
25. Buffalo Bills
Last Week: 26
Well, they beat the Chiefs anyway. Yes, that’s how far they’ve fallen, when “Well, they beat the Chiefs anyway” is pretty much the biggest compliment I’ve given them all season.
26. Carolina Panthers
Last Week: 24
They were so busy pointing out how awful Moss was that they...forgot to play the game themselves.
27. Washington Redskins
Last Week: 27
Well, on the plus side, the Redskins have been improving steadily over the past few games. Unfortunately for them, it’s pretty much too late to save anybody’s jobs.
28. Oakland Raiders
Last Week: 26
JaMarcus Russell may get his chance to win back his starting job this week against Denver. Then again, he may also get the chance to lose it forever. Isn’t Raiders football exciting?
29. Detroit Lions
Last Week: 28
Huge loss, but it’s hard to fault the Lions for anything at this point. What exactly are they playing for? To show other teams there’s no point in signing Daunte Culpepper next season?
29. Kansas City Chiefs
Last Week: 29
They had their chances to win, but Matt Cassel ultimately packed it in in the fourth quarter, and the Chiefs are looking at yet another offseason where they need to fill holes at every position.
30. Cleveland Browns
Last Week: 32
Browns win! Browns win! Browns win! Somewhere, Brady Quinn is sending smug text messages to Charlie Weis.
31. St. Louis Rams
Last Week: 30
In other Rams news, I’ve been invited to try out for the Rams’ quarterback job. On one hand, it’d be a couple million dollar contract. On the other...I’d have to play for the Rams. I guess we did finally find a team for Daunte Culpepper though.
32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Week: 31
Back to the bottom of the league for the poor Bucs. They just couldn’t sustain the momentum after their...one win.
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