Oakland Raiders Ready to Stand Up Against the Cincinnati Bengals

Bret ArmstrongAnalyst INovember 21, 2009

Note: All Quotes In This Article Are Fictional

The Oakland Raiders are a once proud franchise, which is to say that they have not yet been proud twice. But, notice that I said yet...because that is an important word. Keep it in mind for next season...maybe...which is another important word when you're discussing this team.

Why do I say that they are ready to stand up? Simple, because you can't sit down and play football. In German, it's actually called foosball, and I think I used to have a table called the same thing...but those were one legged soccer players with interconnected arms.

Kirk Morrison said earlier this week, "I'm ready to tackle some Bengals."

That's a good sign. We sure wouldn't be the same team if the defense just let people run right by them...for 100 yards a game...every game.

Nnmadi Asomugha said, "I'm ready to cover some Bengals."

That's an awesome statement because I would hate to see them leave Chad Johnson, or I mean Ochocinco, to be wide open in the endzone. That would be too much like Vincent Jackson three weeks ago. My favorite BSPN reporter Kenny Mayne pointed out that Spanish people would actually call him Chad Ochenta-y-cinco.

Michael Bush is ready to stand up and run the ball against the Bengals. Unlike last week against the Chiefs when he ran five straight plays and forced the coaches to let him sit down.

Tom Cable said, "Justin Fargas wouldn't have needed a breather, it was a very important time for us in that game because nobody else on the team came to play. If it was not for him sitting down at that point, I would've just handed off to him for the rest of the entire game. Very frustrating when the only guy who can gain yardage needs a breather."

Michael Bush said, "But I love coach Cable." That's his excuse now for everything. Every time he gets into mischief now its, 'But I love [insert name here].'

Richard Seymour is going to stand up this weekend almost every time he comes out of his stance. That's a lot of standing up for a defense that averages about 40 minutes of clock time on the field.

If you convert that to real time, it's about two hours. If you add Seymour's jersey numbers, 9+2, you get 11...which actually has absolutely nothing to do with my article.  

Richard Seymour said, "I like to eat wild cats."

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the rest of the defensive lineman like to eat too. But most "wild" cats are going extinct, so that is actually called poaching when you kill one, which is very illegal.

My landlord, however, went to South Dakota this year and shot two Buffalo, so if you have money, there are ways.

The fact remains out there that this team could be one of next years up and comers. Some might say that Raider Nation has been saying that for seven years now. That's not entirely true.

Raider Nation is quoted as saying, "The Raiders are going to be in the playoffs this year." That statement has nothing to do with next year.

JaMarcus Russell has been staying after practice to work on his throwing. I think he may want to the game film room and work on his reading defenses. You know what helps me make JaMarcus Russell be a better quarterback is Madden '09. Maybe he should pick up a paddle to regain his confidence.

Justin Fargas said, "I think my team made a QB change...my dad is the original Huggie Bear."

Mario Henderson said, "Well, I have no idea what Huggie Bear has to do with this game, but Fargas says that all the time."

The only way to find out what will happen in this weekends game is to watch it in a place that is not in close proximity to the stadium...unless you get game tickets.

You should get game tickets. They are cheap and they are a close up way to see if No.2 really is the problem.

Go Stand Up Raiders!