(Writer's note: males are only allowed to wear fur coats if they are crazy, old, have dementia, or are near death, all of which describe Raiders' owner Al Davis, pictured below).
And when I say get ready to relive the three most exciting games in history, I'm slightly exaggerating.
These two teams never play in exciting games against each other. It's like watching two blind people play tennis, only less fun.
However, after a week of looking, I think I've found three fun games.
Fact to impress drunk people with: Bengals all-time leading scorer Jim Breech spent 13 of his 14 career NFL seasons in Cincinnati. The one that wasn't in Cincinnati: Breech's rookie year of 1979, which he spent with Oakland.
All-Time Series: Raiders lead 17-8 in regular season (will be 17-9 after Sunday) and 2-0 in the playoffs.
Lets get to the countdown:
A one-yard touchdown run by Marcus Allen late in the fourth quarter tied the game at 21 and sent it to overtime.
Most teams hate overtime, but not the Bengals, because their kicker at the time was Mr. "NFL record for overtime kicks" Jim Breech.
Breech nailed a 34-yard field goal in the sudden death period, sending the Bengals and rookie head coach Dave Shula to 2-0.
And yes, you read that correctly, Dave Shula started a season 2-0. And it would have been 3-0 if not for this game, involving this person that I really want to do this to.
Result: Bengals 24, Raiders 21
2. Dec. 28, 1975, at Oakland
The Bengals traveled to Oakland in 1975 for only the third playoff game in franchise history. The mighty Raiders had gone 12-2 in the regular season, but Bengals fans had high hopes for this game. Why? Because one of the Raider's two losses came at the hands of Cincinnati.
Not to mention, the Bengals themselves had finished the regular season with the highest winning percentage in team history (.783) with an 11-3 record.
Unfortunately for Cincinnati, for three quarters, the Bengals looked a lot like the 2009 Cleveland Browns
Early in the fourth quarter, Cincinnati found themselves trailing 31-14.
Game over? Not so fast, my friend.
Ken Anderson threw fourth quarter touchdown passes to Issac Curtis and Charlie Joiner to cut the Raider lead to 31-28.
On Oakland's next possession, JaMarcus Russell wasn't the quarterback—or born yet for that matter—but the Raiders still executed a Russell-like drive by going three-and-out.
The Bengals then got the ball back with a chance to win or tie.
Cincy would go four-and-out and watch their franchise playoff record fall to 0-3.
Result: Raiders 31, Bengals 28
1. Jan. 13, 1991, at Los Angeles
This game put Tecmo out of business and ruined Nike's sweetest ad campaign ever.
And we have Kevin Walker to thank.
In the second half of a tantalizingly close game, Walker ended Bo Jackson's football career with a tackle that damaged Bo's hip.
This game was also exhibit A for why Bo was unstoppable in Tecmo Super Bowl. In the three quarters preceding the injury, Jackson had racked up 77 yards on six carries.
We can probably all agree that if Bo doesn't get injured, Tecmo Super Bowl would have sold six billion copies, and the Madden franchise would have never started.
No Madden means Playstation 2 would have never existed, which means Playstation 3 wouldn't be here, which means that X-box would be a cool name for a dog, but not a video game machine, and everyone in the world would be dead. So, Kevin Walker single-handedly stopped the apocalypse, amazing.
Lets get back to the game though. After Jackson went out with his team up 10-3, the Bengals came back and tied it in the fourth.
However, the Raiders would score 10 more points to win the game.
The most embarrassing part of the loss is that Jay Schroeder was the Raider quarterback at the time.
Say that again: "Jay Schroeder."
There are paper plates with more talent than Schroeder.
Result: Raiders 20, Bengals 10