Tom Cable: "I Coach The Raiders; I Had To Beat Somebody"

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Tom Cable:
This past summer, Raiders coach Tom Cable faced allegations for assault on a former assistant coach. Apparently he has upgraded now over beating up women, as we've learned he's done in his past.
Maybe the women were just warm up for him to get tough enough to fight a man (even if it's just an Assistant Head Coach.) In light of news of these further assaults, many women's groups are calling for Cable to be disciplined.
Cable recently had these comments regarding the incident. "None of these women understand football", he began saying. "If they did, they'd see that I coach the Raiders and a violent past is necessary to gain employment for Al Davis."
Asked if he had a particular issue with women, he simply responded "I may look big and tough, but deep down I'm small and weak. I tried fighting men my own size, and even some smaller, but realized I was in over my head.
So, I knew if I ever wanted to coach the Raiders, I'd have to start beating up people I knew I could take. I tried children, but they're surprisingly tough. After failing to win fights against cripples, I was left with no other fighting options than women. It was nothing personal. It was all about business, and those particular ones just happened to be there."
Being the Raiders' fifth coach since 2003, Cable admitted he needed a way to standout to his owner. "If Davis every tried to fire me, he might get afraid that I'd make him my next victim. He may not be a woman, but at his age, I think I might be able to take him."
Although Al Davis would not respond to the claim, sources near him say that the idea of Cable taking down Davis is "laughable." One even went as far as to say "Al Davis is not a human being, and thus has no feelings. No punches or any other forms of violence against him could do any damage."
Cable understands that some people will look down at him for his violence against the opposite sex, but counters that he should not be judged until you walk a mile in his shoes. "If you had to coach the Raiders you'd be beating up women too. Although I like my job as coach, especially since I can order people around, dealing with the lack of talent and a quarterback who hits his targets less than I hit mine can take its toll."
When asked about his future in Oakland, Cable laughed. "Who else is going to want to coach this team? Even if I didn't return, many of Al's former coaches have only improved their careers by leaving. Jon Gruden won a Super Bowl. Norv Turner coaches San Diego. And even Lane Kiffin coaches in college football. Perhaps I'll lower my standards and go for a coaching job under Dan Snyder in Washington."
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