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"Pardon the interruption, I'm Mike Wilbon. Tony, Lady GaGa's new video for her song Bad Romance premiered today. What you know about Lady GaGa Tony?"
"I'm Tony Kornheiser and all I know is when I turn out the lights, the ladies go gaga! Get it?"
"Uh, yes. We've gone from PTI to TMI, as in too much information."
"Well . . . I don't think so! Welcome to PTI boys and girls! Today we're going to do something a little different. We're going to give out midseason grades to the Washington Redskins. And first we're going to begin with the Redskins offensive line. Alright Wilbon. What grade are you giving these guys?"
"Tony, I'm looking at them. And they have been hit hard by injuries. Randy Thomas is out for the season. Chris Samuels is out for the season and perhaps his career may be over. And what you are seeing is a bunch of guys who fail to provide protection for Jason Campbell and running lanes for Clinton Portis. If you had to rank the Redskins offensive line with the other teams in the league, you would have to put them near the bottom. Tony, my grade for them is not good. It's a D."
"To me, they are the second worst offensive line in the league after Green Bay, who allowed Aaron Rodgers to be sacked about a hundred times against Tampa Bay on Sunday, a team who was winless before they played the Packers. Here's the problem with the Redskins. The front office does not believe in drafting offensive linemen, at least not in the early rounds where the good ones are. So when the main guys get hurt, there's nobody to replace them. And unless they change that philosophy the quarterback, no matter who he is, will continue to get pounded. So yes, they get a failing grade from me too, D-minus. NEXT!"
"Alright Tony let's go to the running game. Clinton Portis is having a bad year. He has 494 yards rushing and only one touchdown and he was sidelined on Sunday after receiving a concussion in the Redskins loss to the Falcons. He's been this team's best offensive weapon since he was traded here for Champ Bailey. I'm not ready to give up on him yet Tony. I'm giving him a B-minus."
"A B-MINUS? ARE YOU INSANE? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT CLINTON PORTIS! HE STINKS! Who is the league's rushing leader?"
"My guess is Adrian Peterson."
"And your guess would be WRONG. Chris Johnson of the Titans leads the league in rushing with 959 yards. That's 500 yards more than YOUR BOY, Clinton Portis. You talking about what Portis did in the past but I think it was Janet Jackson who once said back in 1985, What Have You Done For Me Lately. And what has Portis done lately? Not much.
If you had watched Sunday's game instead of doing whatever you old folks do out in Phoenix, you would have noticed that the offense moved the ball with Ladell Betts in the second half. Portis appears to be washed up. So the running game gets a C-minus. Moving on from the running game to the passing game, Santana Moss is still a game breaker and is having a decent season with 33 catches for 500 yards and two touchdowns. But he's not the problem.
The problem is that Malcolm Kelly and Devin Thomas, two guys who were drafted so that they could take the offense to the next level, have flatlined. They have caught a combined 15 passes for 148 yards and one touchdown. Miles Austin did more in that overtime game against the Chiefs than these two have done in eight games. You know what Wilbon? These guys STINK! They are AWFUL and if not for Moss they would get an even worse grade from me. I'm giving them a D and that's generous."
"Yeah Tony I think the purpose for drafting those guys was that Vinny Cerrato wanted a couple of tall, physical wide receivers to complement Santana Moss. And its safe to say that these guys are busts. They don't do a good job of getting open. They don't run good routes. Campbell doesn't trust them. They are both BUMS! GET EM' OUT OF HERE! And let's not forget that Washington is now without the services of their best red zone receiver in Chris Cooley who is out for the season."
"That injury is what I call the curse of the blond hairdo! Did you see Cooley dye his hair blond on that Monday night game Wilbon? What was the purpose of that? Was he trying to start a boy band? He looked like one of those guys from N'SYNC!"
"I'm surprised you know who N'SYNC is Tony. At any rate, I have to agree with you. That receiving game gets a D from me too. And now we get to the quarterback Jason Campbell. We talked about how bad his offensive line is. Well Campbell is on pace to wind up with 50 sacks which is a really high number. His line is so bad that
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