Their teams are 1-1.
Their teams have the same record as both Super Bowl teams from last season.
Their teams are only two games into the season.
But, trust me, they’re hitting the panic button.
Here’s a rule I try to live my sports life by: Your team must be at least two games below .500 before you can hit the panic button.
Which means Carolina, feel free to start panicking.
1 (10) Ravens (1-0-0)
It’s not often that I agree with Peter King. For example, I’m a huge fan of Dunkin Donuts coffee and he prefers to spend his millions on Starbucks drinks that take 15 minutes just to order. But on this point we agree: The Baltimore Ravens, right now, going into week three of the NFL season, are the best team in the NFL.
We’ve been saying for a long time that if the Ravens ever developed an offense to compliment that defense, they’d be scary. That offense just put up 69 points in two games.
I’m officially scared.
2 (2) Giants (2-0-0)
Eli Manning was impressive, completing 25 of 38 passes (65.8 percent) for 330 yards, two touchdowns, no interceptions, and a 110.6 passer rating. Maybe all it takes to get a quarterback to play like one of the best in the game is to pay him like one of the best in the game?
The Panthers should try that with Jake Delhomme.
3 (6) Falcons (2-0-0)
Matt Ryan and company can make a huge statement by knocking off the Patriots in Foxboro this weekend. Tony Gonzalez could have a huge game, as the Patriots are known to have issues dealing with opposing tight ends. His addition to this offense has given them an unstoppable compliment to Roddy White and Michael Turner, especially in the red zone.
The Falcons are really, really good.
4 (9) Saints (2-0-0)
Speaking of really, really good, the Saints offense is absolutely insane. 93 points in two games? Seriously? They’re on pace to score 744 points. To put that in perspective, the 2007 Patriots scored 589 points.
Their offense might just be good enough that their pathetic defense won’t matter.
5 (8) Colts (2-0-0)
Speaking of pathetic defenses, how awful were the Colts on Monday night? They allowed the Dolphins to hang on to the ball for 45:07. They allowed the Dolphins to convert 15 of 21 third down chances. They gave up 239 rushing yards, and 27 first downs.
But they WON the game!?!?!
Peyton Manning had the ball for less than 15 minutes, yet managed to put up 27 points. The dude is pretty good.
6 (7) Vikings (2-0-0)
For reasons unknown to even the most knowledgeable football minds, the Vikings have trouble with the Detroit Lions. For reasons known to everyone who’s ever watched the Detroit Lions, that trouble never seems to result in a loss.
7 (-) Broncos (2-0-0)
OK, so the Broncos have played the Bengals and the Browns, and it took a miracle for them to defeat the Bengals, but I really like the way the Broncos are playing. Plus, as Cold Hard Football Facts has noted, Kyle Orton is the luckiest quarterback in the history of football.
And I’m not one to go against luck.
8 (-) Jets (2-0-0)
The Jets have gone two games against pretty decent offenses without giving up a single rushing or passing touchdown. Their rookie quarterback is playing twice as well as the 2008 version of Brett Favre played. Their offensive line has been dominant.
I predicted six wins for this team. I may have been a little off…
9 (1) Steelers (1-1-0)
I’m not ready to completely jump off the Steelers bandwagon just because they lost to the Chicago Bears. I’m awfully close to jumping off, I may be hanging out the door, but I’m still on the ride. For now.
Fact is, they need to get that offensive line straightened out. When they made their Super Bowl run last season, the line morphed into a decent-but-not-great unit. This season, they’ve regressed into a pathetic-and-going-to-get-Big-Ben-killed unit.
10 (-) 49ers (2-0-0)
I put the 49ers here for two reasons:
1) They’re undefeated, and nobody else who hasn’t already been listed is undefeated.
2) They may never make the list again this season, so I figured I’d throw them a bone.
(3) Eagles (1-1-0)
I still think the Eagles are going to be OK, they just need to tread water until McNabb comes back. Michael Vick is eligible to play this week, which should be interesting…even though he’s completely useless as a quarterback.
(4) Patriots (1-1-0)
Tom Brady says he’s not 100 percent happy with his throwing mechanics so far this season. I’d say it’s hard to have good mechanics when your offensive line is allowing opposing defenders to take free shots at you all game long.
(5) Packers (1-1-0)
You can’t lose to the Bengals if you want to be in the Power-10. It’s a rule.
30 (31) Lions (0-2-0)
Someday, somehow, the Lions will win a football game. Nobody’s sure when, and God knows we can’t figure out how, but it will eventually happen.
31 (30) Browns (0-2-0)
Brady Quinn is proof of Charlie Weis’ genius. Not because he was able to win games at Notre Dame with an obviously deficient quarterback, but because he was able to convince NFL scouts that Quinn was a first round quarterback.
32 (-) Panthers (0-2-0)
Too hard on the Panthers this week? They’re last in the NFL with a -36 net points, they’re 26th in the NFL in points for, and they’re 30th in the NFL in points against.
Frankly, I’m being too kind…
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