Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
One thing is for sure after the Jets bullied the Patriots into submission last Sunday in the Meadowlands: If Rex Ryan and the Jets tell you they’re going to do something, then, by golly, they’re going to do it.
“Or maybe the Patriots just aren’t that good,” says Titans head coach Jeff Fisher. “And I might just know a thing or two about teams that ‘just aren’t that good.’ We’re 0-2, and that’s not good.”
“It’s a very rare occasion to see the Patriots intimidated and taken out of their game. I know Tom Brady is expecting a child, but I never expected to see him in the fetal position.”
“But I know my guys well enough to know they won’t run and hide, unless it’s Vince Young from a standardized test, or playing time.”
“I’m confident in myself as a coach to know that I run a clean program. You won’t catch me tampering with another team’s unsigned draft pick. But let’s not jump to conclusions. I think the Jets did, in fact, contact Michael Crabtree, but not for his services. I believe they were inquiring about a good bail bondsman for Shaun Ellis.”
Ryan and the Jets impressive 2-0 start has the city of New York in a frenzy, with many a call-in radio fan dialing frenetically for the chance to express their love for the home team. With the Giants also a perfect 2-0, the Big Apple is a collective 4-0, and talk, albeit premature, of a Big Apple Super Bowl.
“Who knew that when Frank Sinatra crooned ‘New York, New York,’” says Ryan. “He was talking about a Jets-Giants Super Bowl? Hey, I bet Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., and the rest of the gang were Jets fans. And I bet they called themselves the ‘Jet Pack.’”
Hey, let’s hand it to the Jets, or at least thank them. In a week when very few teams played defense, the Jets did with flying colors. They will again against the Titans, who desperately need a win. But the Titans can as well, at least when facing an 0-3 start to the season.
Tennessee wins 17-16.