Marshawn Lynch, Thrill-Seekers Notch Blowout Super Bowl Media Day Win over Media

Renegade folk hero Marshawn Lynch struck another blow for the little guy on the first day of Super Bowl media availability.

As Fox Sports's Alex Marvez tweeted, the Seattle Seahawks' star tailback told the assembled horde of professional football reporters, media personalities, paying fans and freak-show attractions, "I'm just here so I won't get fined" in response to 21 different questions, then left after five minutes.

It's part of his never-ending campaign to avoid talking publicly about his job, and fans everywhere seem to get a massive kick out of Lynch's act:

Why is his silent treatment of the media so appealing?

For many players, contractually mandated media availability is an annoying part of the job. You likely have a part of your job you hate, too. Whether it's client meetings, filling out timesheets or cleaning out the grease traps, there's some horrible, menial task you absolutely hate.

Every time Lynch stonewalls the media, it's like watching the classic anti-work comedy Office Space: The milquetoast middle-aged NFL reporters are one big Lumbergh, and Lynch is knocking down cubicle walls and playing video games on the clock.

Like Jennifer Aniston shooting off rapid-fire middle fingers to a restaurant full of stunned coworkers and patrons, Lynch is making sure every single person in the room—and, by extension, the world—knows just how much contempt he has for the whole stupid process.

Make no mistake: Media days are stupid.

Unlike sideline or locker room access, where players still in the heat of the moment can give sports fans spine-tingling glimpses into the psyche of elite competitors, there's nothing players a week removed from playing the game (in either direction) can tell hundreds of assembled scribes, jocks, interns, cosplayers, puppeteers and looky-loos that'll add anything to anyone's understanding:

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HOW DARE MARSHAWN LYNCH MAKE A MOCKERY OF THE MEDIA pic.twitter.com/qEzBe1H3TY

— Michael Katz (@KatzM) January 27, 2015"

Fans' ire, though, is misplaced.

Lynch is in the last year of a four-year, $30 million contract, per Spotrac. He's been fined hundreds of thousands of dollars for his failure to give reporters even the bare minimum of access mandated by that contract—and every other NFL player contract.

Maybe that's the problem? Teammate Richard Sherman, who was the toast of last year's media day festivities, wrote about Lynch in his feature piece at The MMQB:

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Under Goodell the league continues to put players like Marshawn Lynch in a position to be mocked by the media, which seems to get a kick out of seeing people struggle on camera. As teammates we’re angry because we know what certain people do well and we know what they struggle with. Marshawn’s talking to the press is the equivalent of putting a reporter on a football field and telling him to tackle Adrian Peterson. Some of the same people slamming Marshawn for not talking are just as likely to condemn the Browns’ Andrew Hawkins and Johnson Bademosi for protesting police brutality with T-shirts. They want to hear us speak, but only if we’re saying something they want to hear.

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I'm a member of the Pro Football Writers of America. I looked at my contract: "Tackle Adrian Peterson" isn't in there. Nobody defended Hawkins' right to be human harder than I did; it's Lynch's human side writers want to see. No journalist gets a kick out of seeing players struggle in interviews or wrestle with anxiety issues. Lynch, by his mother Delisa's admission to Nicole Brodeur of The Seattle Times, is doing nothing of the sort:

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'He’s not gonna talk,' Mama Lynch told me when I called her during her power walk the other day. 'They think he’s crazy, but he’s far from crazy. He just doesn’t like the media.'

So is he an introvert, as some have posited? Is he just shy?

'By no means!' Lynch said. 'He’s shy when he wants to be. He’s a selective man...But he’s not shy on the football field.'

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By all accounts, including that of former teammate Ryan Riddle, Lynch is a smart, funny, interesting, fun-loving, kindhearted person—which is exactly the kind of stuff fans would love to know about him. But he hates dealing with the media, and so they get nothing.

Fans in full "fight the power" mode rally behind this stance. But what makes Lynch so special? Why should he be excused from media availability when none of the other Super Bowl XLIX participants will be?

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I asked Marshawn Lynch why he thinks he shouldn't have to do what every other NFL player is required to do, but he didn't answer.

— Bart Hubbuch (@BartHubbuch) January 27, 2015"

The reality is that fans have it backward.

Per a tweet from ESPN's Ed Werder, Lynch was facing a $500,000 fine if he didn't meet his media day obligations. That's enough to pay the annual salaries of 10 of the bleary-eyed, coffee-stained scribes who've spent hours standing around waiting for him to talk.

Most Bleacher Report readers won't be moved to tears by the plight of reporters being flown out to the Super Bowl for a week-long expenses-paid trip to football's most glorious event. But between the media guys and gals with families just trying to get a quote from one of the Super Bowl's brightest stars, and the star in question? The power imbalance is huge, but not in the direction many seem to think it is.

Lynch is not going to break down and reveal his deepest, darkest secrets on the media day dais. He's not going to break down the New England Patriots' defense and reveal the Seahawks' game plan to attack it, either. But if he answers just two or three real football questions in those five minutes, the reporters can do their jobs and the fans can get a little something from their hero.

Maybe it's time for the NFL to realize that giving credentials to darn near anyone who applies and allowing anyone with $28.50 to get into media day turns it into a hilarious spectacle for players and fans—and a grueling, embarrassing, fruitless waste of time for the media.