I was pretty disappointed yesterday when neither Lefty or David Duval could pull out a victory at Bethpage Black. The anticlimatic victory by Some Guy left be a little doleful about a few months without real sports and, that attitude in mind, I decided that it's time for a shameful look into Denver's future and the consequences that would accompany each scenario.
Denver Goes 0-16
Aaaaah, McD. It was swell knowing you and hopefully, if you don't get killed on the way out of town, you'll be able to coach a middle school somewhere. Pat Bowlen will pledge to build a palatial fortress at the top of Pike's Peak for Bob Stoops if he comes and coaches the Broncos. Meanwhile Shanny and Jay Baby will be pouring champagne on each other in the middle of Mike's still-to-be-finished mansion. Barrel Man will roll himself into the Platte and domestic disturbances will hit record highs.
Denver Goes 2-14
This scenario is possible, but unlikely. If it does happen though, McDaniels will be out of a job and I wouldn't be surprised if the Broncos promoted Mike Nolan or snapped up Leslie Frazier. Such a calamnity would put us in the top 2 on draft day, and I sincerely hope that--barring he suffers a catastrophic injury at Oklahoma--the Broncos draft Sam Bradford. Should Brandon Marshall leave, I think the Broncos would do well by drafting either Mardy Gilyard out of Cincinnati or Eric Decker from Minnesota, should he declare. There is also the possibility of USC safety Taylor Mays, who many claim to be the reincarnation of Ronnie Lott.
Wins will occur at home against Cleveland and away to Cincinatti, which coupled with Ohio State's annual lesson in choking, will make being a football fan in Ohio close to unbearable. They still have LeBron for one more year.
Denver Goes 6-10
McDaniels, whiz that he is, will keep his job but the scrutiny that was created by Jay Cutler's departure and Baby T.O.'s insistence to be like...T.O. will only rise. Bowlen is magnanimous enough to not demand that any assitants be axed and his impatience will be stayed by the aforementioned wins plus triumphs over the Chiefs, Cowboys, and Raiders at home plus a nice upset away at Washington, a trip that may or may not convince Xanders and McD to go after Jason Campbell. This would position us around pick 10 on the draft board, which makes Taylor Mays a priority.
Denver Goes 8-8, Again
If you had told me in August that the Broncos would be 8-8, I'd have been pleasantly surprised. When people were telling me that the Broncos would finish 8-8 in September I was breaking out tape of Jay Cutler to show them how foolish they were. Then we finished 8-8 in the most anticlimactic fashion imaginable and chaos ensued. But that's why this year is different, because 8-8 will be considered the start of a blossoming head coaching career. The win total will be bolstered by wins against the Chargers at Invesco and another win against the Raiders, this time in Oakland.
Denver Goes 12-4, Division Champs
Coach of the Year? Bank on it. Such a watershed turnaround will leave many fans, including me, confused because this will be done with Kyle Orton at quarterback. In the season's biggest win, Knowshon Moreno will hurdle a blitzing Troy Polomalu at Invesco and follow Clady on a pull into the end zone, where he will celebrate by spreading his arms and collapsing strategically. A win at Arrowhead, a win against the Giants at home and a win in Philly, where Brian Dawkins will record 18 tackles, will boost this into a classic season. Super Bowl or bust in 2010.
Broncos Go 16-0
After Kyle Orton tragically gos down in Week 2, Tom Brandstater will step in to duel Knowshon Moreno for Offensive Rookie of the Year. McDaniels will be hailed as a god, with babies being named after him and mobs of the afflicted mobbing to his home so that he might bless them. Brian Dawkins will be the one allowed to say he's going to Disney World, which will be a shock to America considering his destructive hits of Philip Rivers in the Divisional Play Off Game, which will leave the QB crying while LT strokes his hair and Santonio Holmes in the AFC Championship Game, a hit so vicious that it will render Holmes senseless, only to awaken two weeks later believing he's Big Ben and was just thrown from a motor cycle. The Panthers, humbled in defeat, will proclaim that not even Shula and the '72 Dolphins could've stopped the juggernaut. Rioting will be so intense that the Army will be brought in, although domestic violence in colorado will hit an all-time low. Jay Cutler will be too distraught to speak to the media.
Obviously I'm hoping for the latter, but the improbability of such a scenario and the Broncos' deficiencies at QB and the linebacker position will prevent it from happening. 6-10 is the most likely season, one that will hopefully be an indicator of greatness on the horizon.