This is a beard hoop, and it will drive you to eat bacon and stare at mountains for hours.
The basket-beard is the property of Garey Faulkner—a Cincinnati Bengals super fan whose angelic bushel of facial hair continues to make appearances at Ohio sporting events.
Faulkner was on hand at the U.S. Bank Arena for Wednesday night’s game between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Washington Wizards, and you can see that the wiry ecosystem living on his face decided to dress up for the occasion.
The beautiful sight was spotted by the Monumental Network’s Casey Phillips (h/t Joe Kinsey of Busted Coverage), who couldn’t help but find herself entranced by this man and his wonderful beard-basket.
It must be noted that this isn’t just some guy—this is a professional.
Indeed, Faulkner is a professional beardsman who travels the nation competing for the distinction of best beard in the land. If your spine didn’t quiver just a little bit reading that last sentence, just get out.
Even more spine-tingling is the fact that he and his 14-inch beard donate all of their winnings to charity—because nothing says “I care” like beard money.
Faulkner, a Cincinnati native, first became national sporting news when he arrived at the Bengals' training camp in July with a six-pack of “Hu Dey” beer stashed in his beard.
Such strength, such creativity.
I don’t know if beard competitions have beard-athlons, but if there’s a three-part race involving lifting, chucking and hauling beers with your facial hair—I wouldn’t bet against Faulkner. His neck strength alone is staggering.
With that, this is just another day in the life for a man with a fountain of facial hair and the creativity to match it.
Don’t fear the beard. Embrace it.