A Tongue-in-Cheek Look at the Tampa Bay Bucs' 2009 Season

(Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

Sure, predictions are like opinions, everybody has one. But my look at the Bucs 2009 season might be a little different than most.

Week One-Bucs 24 Dallas 21

Luke McCown celebrates his first season as Bucs starting quarterback by throttling the 'Boys for 247 yards and 2 touchdowns. He runs for another. In the postgame press conference, Raheem Morris declares him starter 'for the foreseeable future.'

The Bucs' defense shuts down Dallas' passing attack, but surrenders 227 yards rushing. Jerry Jones offers Mark Dominik McCown Jessica Simpson for Antonio Bryant.
Four-thousand tasteless headlines are written about the Cowboys 'collapse.'

Week Two-Bucs 17 Bills 14

McCown throws two interceptions and Morris temporarily promotes Josh Freeman to second string, declaring McCown the starter for 'at least the next week.'

The Bucs shut down the Bills offense minus suspended Marshawn Lynch. Terrell Owens asks Ronde Barber his quarterback's name, than berates Trent Edwards on the sideline after a third-down incompletion.

Bucs ticket waiting lists swells back to 100,000.

Week Three-Giants 24 Bucs 21

The Bucs suffer their first loss as Brandon Jacobs runs for 154 yards as the Giants run over the Bucs. In response, Jim Bates moves Jermain Phillips to defensive tackle. 'He's a nice presence in their' Bates says.

McCown is solid in the loss, but is sacked seven times. Jeremy Trueblood surrenders three sacks, but balances it with two personal fouls.

Week Four-Bucs 17 Redskins 14

The Bucs edge the 'Skins in a defensive battle. Kellen Winslow misses his third straight game, but tells reporters he's 'almost completely moved' into his new Tampa town home. 'I'll be ready to go next week' he adds.

Jerramy Stevens catches a touchdown in his absence.

Gaines Adams is sited, and records two sacks. 'First time I've met him,' Bates says.
Raheem Morris Day is declared at Legend's Field by the city of Tampa the same day the Rays beat the Yankees to clinch the AL East.

Week Five Eagles 24 Bucs 17

McCown is declared still the starter 'for at least the next two days' by offensive coordinator Jeff Jagodzinski after the Bucs passing game nets 157 yards.
Winslow catches six passes for 95 yards and a touchdown in his first action of the season.

Seventy-five Philadelphia newspapers declare the game 'payback' for 2002 NFC championship game loss, 2003 loss in the first game at Lincoln Financial Field and the Lightning's Stanley Cup.

Week Six Carolina 28 Bucs 23

The Bucs lose their third of the last four games, allowing DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart to combine for 199 yards. 'That's a lot better than last season' Bates comments.

Earnest Graham and Derrick Ward combine for 150 yards, and McCown is effective with 225 yards. Matt Bryant kicks two 50 yard field goals, but the Bucs work out six kickers the following Monday.

Week Seven Patriots 37 Bucs 16

The Bucs drop to 3-4 as McCown is benched in the second quarter after his second interception. Morris declares third stringer Byron Leftwich the starter 'at least the next 72 hours.'

Tom Brady throws three touchdowns and is pulled in the third quarter. Elbert Mack surrenders all three. Jermain Phillips is moved to cornerback.
Season ticket list down to 14,000.

Week Eight Bucs 21 Packers 20

The Bucs pull out the win as Ronde Barber returns an Aaron Rodgers pick 87 yards for a touchdown. The return takes 23 seconds. 'I was never really very fast' Barber states.
Josh Freeman goes 13 for 27 for 123 yards in his first start.

Fellow Buc rookies Kyle Moore and Roy Miller are promoted to the starting lineup. Ryan Grant is held to 54 yards and the Bucs get four sacks, two more by Adams.

Week Nine Dolphins 19 Bucs 9

Freeman throws four picks. 'He's learning' Morris says. Bucs hold Miami to 234 yards of offense, but Miami has the ball for 43:17. Bill Parcells calls the game 'beautiful.'

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?