Beat your friends in a competition, and you might feel like a camel on Wednesday. Lose to them, and you're probably going to feel like your girlfriend just broke up with you, and then kicked you in the groin, and then stole your Xbox 360, and then baked you delicious-smelling cookies to make up for it only for you to find out they have raisins in him.
Anyways, you get the idea. No matter the competition—whether it be football, Bocce ball, croquet, squash or video games—losing to your friends is basically the worst thing in the world.
So, while the realistic gameplay and other new features for the upcoming NBA 2K14 have me far more excited for a video game than a grown adult should be, I'm focused on what teams I'm going to have to use in this year's version to best my friends.
With ESPN's recent power rankings as our measurement, let's take a look at some teams from the bottom half of the league to use.
At least when it comes to exhibition games, health doesn't matter in the virtual world.
So, perhaps the biggest thing holding the Cavs back in real life—Anderson Varejao, Andrew Bynum and Anthony Bennett all have injury question marks right now, while Kyrie Irving has missed 38 games in two seasons—shouldn't be a concern in 2K14.
Instead, you can just focus on talent, which the Cavs have in bunches.
Irving is one of the best point guards in the league, and at just 21 years of age, there's a good chance he'll be in line for some ratings boosts as the season progresses.
Varejao, Bynum and Tristan Thompson will all be vacuum cleaners on the glass, and Bennett brings explosiveness and impressive inside-outside versatility on the offensive end.
This team isn't swimming with dead-eye shooters, but electric youngster Dion Waiters should be improved in that area, and Irving himself is a near-40 percent three-point shooter when he isn't embarrassing defenders with his unbelievable handle.
Cleveland is overflowing with talent, size, athleticism and versatility, making it the perfect video game team.
I still can't figure out if the Pistons are going to be good in real life or not, but it doesn't matter. They are going to be incredibly fun to watch—and real-life entertainment tends to correlate with video game effectiveness.
Brandon Jennings can light it up offensively, Josh Smith remains one of the most athletic big men in the game, Andre Drummond is a physical freak at 6'10" and Greg Monroe is one of the best centers in the game.
With that corps, you again aren't going to have a ton of shooters, but you're going to be bigger than pretty much every opponent and yet still be able to run the fast break and play an up-tempo style.
Athletic, agile big men can sometimes be unstoppable in video games, and the Pistons have the best trio in the league in that department.
New Orleans Pelicans
You've got guards who can score (a lot) in Jrue Holiday, Eric Gordon and Tyreke Evans. In fact, you're not going to find many three-guard rotations more tantalizing than that one. There are questions as to how they will gel together in real life, but again, that doesn't matter here.
One on one, all three are incredibly difficult to stop on the offensive end.
You've got someone to defend the rim in Anthony Davis, who is also athletic, can run the break and can serve as a nice mid-range offensive weapon when your guards collapse the defense.
Perhaps most importantly, you've got the best video game weapon of all: a big man who can shoot the three in Ryan Anderson.
Finally, in the role-player department, you've got an athletic rebounder/defender in Al-Farouq Aminu, a deadly three-point shooter in Anthony Morrow and some solid big men in Jason Smith, Greg Stiemsma and Jeff Withey.
Simply put, in the virtual world, this team has no major weaknesses.