Welcome ladies and gentlemen to an exciting episode of ECW: A New Era Of Extreme! Tonight is a huge night for ECW as we are just past Backlash and a lot has happened.
Ted DiBiase's Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga, defeated a hungry Ricky Ortiz at Backlash in hard-fought match up to advance to the second round of the Race to Judgment Day Tournament.
Evan Bourne used his speed and his wits to his advantage when he outsmarted the technical powerhouse, Jack Swagger, in a long pure fight to the end.
Unfortunately for Swagger, Lance Cade accidently cost Swagger the match by missing Bourne with a chair shot and smashing Swagger with it instead.
In the end, Bourne became a shooting star by advancing to the next round of the tournament.
The ECW Originals sneak attacked Team Swagger in hardcore fashion by entering the ring behind them and destroying them with steel chairs.
But, Lance Cade once again used his sneakiness to get into the match and cost the ECW Originals a beatdown that they wont soon forget for a long time.
In doing so, Team Swagger is now untouchable outside of a match for a total of two months.
And last, but most certainly not least, the ECW World Heavyweight Champion Rob Van Dam had his work cut out for him when he faced the young brash Elijah Burke. Just earlier in the night, Burke came across RVD and delivered a hellacious slap to RVD's face.
During the match, Jack Swagger and Tony Atlas got involved almost costing RVD his title, but out of nowhere, Evan Bourne came to the rescue of RVD and helped him retain his title in a hardcore match like no other.
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Now that I'm done advertising my buddies' articles, its time to get ECW underway!
A video recap of Backlash is shown with "Seasons" by Veer Union playing in the background.
The pyro explodes and we are welcomed by Todd Grisham and Matt Striker.
Striker: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another exciting night of ECW! I'm your teacher Matt Striker and school is in session. I'm joined by my Slammy Award-winning partner, Todd Grisham! And what a night of ECW action we have planned for you!
Todd: That's right, folks, as the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam, will team up with Evan Bourne to go head-to-head with Jack Swagger and Elijah Burke in tag-team action in tonight's main event!
Striker: And that's not all folks as we have the beginning of the second round of the Race to Judgment Day Tournament when Jamie Noble takes on John Morrison to see who will advance to the semi-finals against either Evan Bourne or the Samoan Bulldozer Umaga.
Todd: Also ton...
(All of a sudden Shelton Benjamin theme hits as the pyro goes off for the Golden Standard as he makes his way to the ring.)
Benjamin: Retards and hypocrites, welcome to the most trashiest show in television history, welcome to Extremely Confused Wra-stling, welcome to ECW!
(The live crowd booes the Golden Standard as he just stands in the ring soaking all of it up.)
Yeah come'on people, I know you all can do better than that! Go ahead boo me, I dont care. You people with your pot belly families and you small minimum wage jobs come to an ECW show each and every week to see men beat the living crap out of each other for your amusement.
How much of an idiot can you be?! You spend all of your hard earned money to see this?! I can pick any two people out of this crowd and have them kick the crap out of each other all day for free because I'm better than them and I'm most definently better than you!
(As he says that, he points to the camera and the arena fills with boos.)
Yeah that's right MVP, I'm talking to you! You cheated me out of my title not too long ago and now I issue an open challenge to either you or any one in the back right now that thinks that they can take me on right now!
Come on out here, I'll face anyone!
(After a while the whole arena is silent as they await who come out.)
I'll wait out here all night if I have to, I want my match and I want it now! I'll take any of you down! COME ON!
(All of a sudden, MVP comes out in a business suit with shades on his face. He has a mic, but lays it down on the stage and opens his jacket. Inside is the US Championship title.)
MVP: Yo playboy check this out right chea man! I'm MVP, and I'm better than you! You call yourself the "Golden" Standard, but I see no gold on you except for your ridiculous hair style man! I mean just look at you, you've gotten soft.
Just a few weeks ago, you were beating World Heavyweight Champions left and right, but every since you faced me, you've turned into an empty shell of what you used to be homie. But check dis out, you want yo title back right?
Benjamin: You damn skippy, boy! NOW GET YO ASS DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME FOR IT!
MVP: Naw man, you see you thought you were right when you said that this was the trashiest show in the history of television, I dont think so, playboy.
Check it out, your in ring ability, is amazing, your intensity is almost unmatched, but when you open your mouth, man that is the absolute worst show in television history.
A great man once said that he was here to save the WWE fans from the boredom of their champion, but now, I'm that man, and I just saved all of these fans from the boredom that is, Shoe-shine Bitch-a-men! Oh yeah before I go, I don't feel like getting into a ring tonight, so you can face this man.
I will see you later, bro. If you survive, then maybe, just maybe you can get a rematch. Bye!
(As soon as he drops the mic, a loud laugh fills the arena and then Umaga's theme hits and he along with DiBiase come down to the ring.)
Umaga w/ Ted DiBiase vs Shelton Benjamin
As soon as Umaga gets into the ring, Shelton Benjamin gets out. Umaga then gets out and begins to chase him all around the ring. Benjamin almost runs over Dibiase, but he literally jumps completely over him and gets into the ring. As Umaga tries to slide in, Benjamin begins to stomp on the back of Umaga.
Bejamin then starts to kick Umaga in his side and then goes down to one knee and starts beating Umaga with right and left handed blows to his back. Benjamin then gets up and bounces off of the ropes, but Umaga clotheslines the hell out of him.
He goes for the cover, 1..2.. Benjamin places his foot on the bottom rope. Umaga gets Benjamin up and throws him off of the ropes, he catches Bejamin and throws him up in the air and tries to go for a Samoan drop, but Benjamin reverses it into a huge DDT!
Both men are down and the ref begins the count, 1..2..3..4..5..6.. Benjamin gets up to his feet and climbs up to the top rope.
Umaga stands up in a daze and turns to face Benjamin. Benjamin jumps down, but Umaga hits him in the throat with the "Samoan Spike!" Benjamin goes down hard, but conveniently rolls out of the ring.
Umaga goes to the outside to deal with Benjamin. He gets him up and rolls him into the ring. Umaga then gets in and goes for the cover, 1..2.. Bejamin kicks out! Dibiase yells to Umaga to finish Benjamin, but as soon as Umaga turns to face the downed Benjamin, Benjamin rolls him up for the cover, 1-2-3! Its over and Benjamin steals a victory!
Benjamin quickly rolls out of the ring as Umaga tried to grab him. Ted Dibiase restrained the Bulldozer and grabbed the mic.
Dibiase: Calm down, calm down! Dont worry about him, this was just a tune up because next week you'll get fed that little high flyer, Evan Bourne, or if he comes out here we can settle a little something. So Evan, get out here, sir!
(After about seven seconds, Evan Bourne theme hits and he comes out in street clothes.)
Bourne: You wanted to see me, Mr. DiBiase?
Dibiase: Yes I do, Mr. Bourne. Next week you're scheduled to face my Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga, in singles competition to advance in the Race to Judgment Day Tournament.
From the looks of it, you wont make it past this round, I mean look at you, you're in great shape, young, and still a little wet behind the ears.
If you don't want your career to be cut short, let's say all the way down to... next week being your last week, you'll accept this proposition that I have for you. Ha-ha.
Bourne: What proposition do you have for me that I won't turn down?
Dibiase: Every man's got a price, here take this...
(Dibiase pulls out $2,000 in hundreds.)
What this is in my hand, is $2,000 in hundred dollar bills! You get this tonight and next week, if you decide to forfeit the match to Umaga, then you will be awarded $8,000 more dollars, giving you a total of $10,000!
So what do ya say? Make a deal with The Million Dollar Man, or get fed to my 300-pound Samoan Bulldozer, former Intercontinental Champion, Umaga?!
Bourne: Well Mr. DiBiase, you make a very tempting offer, but I...
Dibiase: Wait a minute kid, I since that you're getting ready to make the biggest mistake of your young, small, and mediocre career!
Just wait until our little match next week and then decide on what your next move will be, okay! Every body's got a price! Ha-ha!
(DiBiase's theme hits as he and Umaga leave the ring with Bourne looking down at the cash on the ground.)
We cut to commercial.
(We return with RVD and Bourne discussing something until someone knocks on RVD's door.)
RVD: Come in!
Katie Lea: Hello RVD, how are you?
RVD: I'm doin...
Katie Lea: Yeah that's fine, can I please speak with Evan alone?
RVD: Sure thing.
(As soon as RVD leaves, Katie and Bourne get closer together and the camera cuts to Jamie Noble's entrance to the ring.)
Chimel: The following match up is scheduled for one fall and it is the official first match in the second round in The Race to Judgment Day Tournament! Introducing first on his way to the ring from Hanover, W.Va., weighing in at 202 pounds, Jamie Noble!
(After Noble gets into the ring John Morrison's theme hits as he along with The Miz make their slow stroll to the ring.)
Second Round Race to Judgment Day Singles Match:
John Morrison w/ The Miz vs Jamie Noble
As soon as the bell rings, Shelton Benjamin's theme hits as he comes down to the ring with his Money In The Bank briefcase and street clothes.
Benjamin: Oh boys, don't mind me, I'm just going to join these two jackasses at the commentators table, so begin fighting boys, if you know how! Ha-ha!
Both men look pissed and they lock up with each other. Morrison got the best of Noble with a headlock. Noble escapes and applies his own headlock to Morrison. Morrison tries to throw Noble off of him, but Noble holds on to the hold tightly. Morrison then picks Noble up and tries to hit a back body drop, but Noble lands on his feet.
Noble then dropkicks Morrison in the back and Morrison falls over the top rope to the outside of the ring. Miz goes to check on Morrison, but just as they get to their feet, Noble bounces off of the ropes and hits a huge suicide dive through the ropes onto the team of Miz and Morrison.
Noble gets up and rolls into the ring as we cut to commercial.
We return with Morrison down in the middle of the ring. Noble climbs up to the top rope and waits for Morrison to get to his feet. As soon as Morrison gets up Noble dives with a flying cross body splash, but Morrison dropkicks him in mid-air!
Noble and Morrison are both down as the ref starts his count, 1..2..3..4..5..6..7 Morrison is up and then Noble afterwards. Noble and Morrison begins to trade blows left and right. Morrison tries a roundhouse kick, but Noble ducks the shot and begins to deliver right handed punches to the head of Morrison.
Noble bounces off of the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Morrison ducks the shot and hits a falling neck breaker to Noble. As Morrison gets up, he delivers a huge standing moonsault to Noble. He goes for the cover, 1..2.. Noble kicks out. Morrison gets up and bounces off of the ropes.
As soon as Noble sits up, Morrison returns with his signature knee shot (which I am now dubbing as the Facelift). Noble goes down and Morrison goes for the cover, 1..2.. Noble kicks out again and Morrison looks frustrated. Noble slowly begins to get up and Morrison throws him into the turnbuckle.
Morrison charges forward, but Noble puts his foot up and stops Morrison in his tracks. Noble hops up to the second rope and dives on Morrison and hits a flying tornado DDT. He goes for the cover, 1..2.. Morrison kicked out and Noble lets out a loud roar!
Noble gets up and signals for the match to be over. As soon as Morrison gets up, The Miz jumps up on the apron and distracts the ref. Noble looks at Miz for a split second and Morrison low blows Noble and hits the "Moonlight Drive!" He covers Noble, 1-2-3!
Its all over and Morrison advances to the third round of the Race to Judgment Day Tournament! Benjamin gets into the ring and shakes Morrison's hand. He then raises both Miz and Morrison's hands in victory, but as soon as they turned around, he hits them with a double "Pay Dirt!"
Benjamin gets up and holds his briefcase in the air and smiles as we take another commercial break.
We return with Tony Chimel standing in the ring.
Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, the fol...
(All of a sudden Lance Cade's theme hits and he comes down to the ring alone.)
Cade: Shut-up you tool! Ladie and gentlemen, I'm proud to introduce to you, representing all honest men across America, Team Swagger!
(Team Swagger's theme hits and Jack Swagger, Tony Atlas, and Elijah Burke come down to the ring.)
Swagger: Cut our music! What the hell do you think you're doing, Cade? Do you think just because you helped my team beat The ECW Originals this past Sunday that I would forget that you ruined my shot at the ECW title? Well you know what I didn't forget! I didn't forget the way you smashed my face in with that steel chair shot!
I didn't forget, Cade, and now, its time for you to suffer the consequences! Wait a minute, I did remember hearing from a special someone that you and Katie are pretty good friends backstage. She gave you an ice-pack, you exchange jokes, she makes sure that you're "okay"!
Cade: Swagger, calm down, man! You are starting to sound like Jericho! Why do you all keep accusing me of being the mystery boyfriend for Katie? Didn't he challenge you to a match for Backlash? And you turned him down to face Evan Bourne in a Race to Judgment Day challenge!
I dont know Swagger, but I'm starting to think that you're afraid of Katie's boyfriend! I think that this guy has you running scared like a little boy running away from the middle school bully! I...
(*SMACK* Swagger slaps the hell out of Cade!)
Swagger: Boy, the next time you decide to grow a set and get into my face again, I'll make sure that I rid Jericho of his annoying little employee! Do you understand me?! You need to owe Team Swagger an apology, you need to owe Chris Jericho an apology, and most of all you need to owe me an apology!
(As soon as Lance Cade begins to open his mouth, Evan Bourne's theme hits and he and Katie Lea come out together!)
Swagger: I don't believe this! Katie is with the kid? Ha-ha! Baby, if that is your man then anyone in the entire world must have the ability to pleasure such an easy lady! Ha-ha! So that's why you frown all the time, Katie, is he coming up a little too small for the task at hand?
(All of the men in the ring are laughing and Katie gets a mic on the stage.)
Katie Lea: Wow Swagger! I'm surprised that you can come up with a complete sentence! The extremely funny thing is that you all believe Bourne to be my man, Ha! That's ridiculous! Oh, but before I continue, let me say hello to my very special friend right there in the middle of the ring.
(She blows Cade a kiss and Cade begins to smile and turn red.)
Swagger: What the hell?! I knew it, Cade! Listen I dont know if you are really her boyfriend, but for right now, you cant be trusted. So my suggestion is that you and your little friend go to the back and wait for the match to be over an...
Katie Lea: Shut up, boy! I'm not going anywhere because I signed a contract that clearly states that for tonight only, I can manage Evan Bourne!
And his partner, The Whole Damn Show, Mr. Tuesday Nights himself, the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Rob Van Dam!
(Pyro explodes and RVD's theme hits and he comes out with his shiny title sitting on his shoulder. Evan and RVD shake hands and then begin to come down to the ring. As they are walking to the ring, Cade walks to the back and when he and Katie met midway, they look at each other and hug. Cade then walks to the back.)
Main Event Tag-Team Match
Team Swagger (Jack Swagger and Elijah Burke) w/ Tony Atlas vs Evan Bourne and Rob Van Dam w/ Katie Lea Burchill
Bourne and Burke start things off and Burke locks in a headlock. Bourne throws him against the ropes and Burke takes him down hard with a huge shoulder block. Burke bounces off of the ropes again and Bourne lays flat on his stomach as Burke hops over him.
As Burke returns, Bourne hits a big time jumping roundhouse kick to the face of Burke. Burke falls hard and rolls to the outside of the ring. Swagger goes to check on Burke and as he helps him up to his feet, RVD and Bourne bounces off of the ropes and hits filling sentons on Team Swagger.
Bourne and RVD both get to their feet and roll back into the ring and hype up the live crowd as we head into our final commercial break.
We return with Swagger holding Bourne in a chin lock and the ref checking on the high flyer. RVD then begins to pump the crowd up and they all get behind Bourne. He slowly, but surely begins to fight his way up to his feet. Bourne delivers three elbows to the sternum of Swagger.
As soon as Bourne tries to run, Swagger grabs the sternum of Bourne and delivers a huge german suplex. Bourne is out cold and goes for the cover, 1..2.. Bourne kicks out. Swagger then locks in a leg scissors on the sternum of Bourne squeezing the air from his lungs.
The live crowd gets pumped and Bourne slowly fades. The ref begins his count on the downed Bourne, 1..2.. Bourne begins to fight. Boure somehow turns around in the hold and pins Swagger, 1..2.. Swagger releases the hold and Bourne is slowly trying to crawl to RVD. As soon as Bourne tries to reach out to RVD, Swagger grabs his left leg and begins to pull.
Bourne is hopping on one leg and delivers a huge enziguri to the back of the head of Swagger. The ref begins his count on both men, 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8 Swagger dives and tags in Burke and Burke runs over and knocks RVD off of the apron.
Burke then gets Bourne up to his feet and delivers a huge suplex and he goes for the cover on Bourne, 1..2.. Bourne kicks out. Burke throws Bourne into the corner and Bournes chest hits the corner hard. Burke taunts the crowd and signals for the Elijah Express. Burke backs away from Bourne.
Burke charges forward, but Bourne dodges the maneuver and Burke lands in the corner hard. Bourne dives and make the hot tag to RVD. RVD runs over and knocks Swagger off of the apron then he delivers a rolling thunder to Elijah Burke. As RVD climbs up to the top rope, Atlas climbs up on the apron and distracts the referee.
Katie Lea then gets on the apron on the opposite side. RVD climbs down off of the top rope. Swagger sneaks into the ring behind RVD and Katie grabs him by his hair. Swagger gets pissed and goes right for Katie, but RVD charges to the save, but Swagger side steps RVD and RVD almots knocks Katie off of the apron.
RVD stops himself and Swagger dropkicks the back of RVD causing RVD to knock Katie off of the apron. Cade comes running down to the ring and goes over to check on Katie. He picks Katie up and takes her to the back, Swagger yells at him, but as soon as he turns around, Bourne dives off of the top rope and hits the "Last Flight!"
Swagger goes down and RVD climbs up to the top rope. Burke runs over and tries to knock RVD off, but RVD kicks Burke and Bourne delivers a huge tornado DDT to Burke! Bourne climbs up. Both men dive off and hit their finishers. Bourne lands the "Shooting Star Press" on Burke and RVD lands the "Five Star Frog Splash" onto Swagger.
RVD covers Swagger, 1-2-3! Its over and RVD and Bourne pulls off an impressive victory. Bourne helps RVD up to his feet and all of a sudden, Shelton Benjamin's theme hits and he comes out on the stage and holds up his case and points at RVD.
Bourne raises RVD's hand in victory. RVD grabs his belt from the ref and walks half way up the ramp and holds the title in the air. Bourne signals around his waist and yells at RVD that he wants the title. RVD keeps the title in the air as he looks in the eyes of both Bourne and Benjamin.
The show goes off of the air!