WWE Manual: Greg Bush's Idea of How to Run Raw: Episode 15

GregCorrespondent IMay 3, 2009

Well in case you didn't read last week, Legacy showed more dominance as Tyson Kidd captured the Intercontinental Title.

For Smackdown, check Ray Bogusz.
For ECW, check Anonymous Guy.
For TNA, check Kevin Canny.
For the Highlight Reel, AkD.
For the Ohio Wrestling League, check out Jeff Gorman.

Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!!


(Fireworks go off and the lights are off again.)

King: What the Hell. I'm tired of the lights being off every week.

A video plays on the Titantron.

King: Oh my God! It's D-X!!!!!

The lights come on.

HHH: Ladies and Gentlemen, last week Randy "Teeny Weenie" Orton came out here and told you people that...they are better than any faction that was ever formed. Shawn, you have the list.

HBK: The list is as follows, Hunter. Starting from least important to...well...the current best.

1) The Ministry

2) The Million Dollar Corporation

3) nWo

4) Evolution

5) The Four Horsemen

6) Degeneration X!

HHH: Whoa whoa whoa Shawny. What was that last one?

Shawn: Degeneration X!

HHH: Right. Now, wait a minute. Orton, and his gang of rooster bangers think that they're better than us?

Shawn:...Uh...Yea that's pretty much what that means.

HHH: Thank you, Shawn.
Shawn: No problem Hunter.

HHH: So I think we need to give a defense. In this court of Law...
Shawn: Hunter
HHH: We must defend...
Shawn: Hunter
HHH: our names from this
Shawn: Hunter
Shawn: This isn't a court of Law. This is a ring. We're in a ring, Hunter. It has four sides.
HHH: Oh that's where you're wrong Shawny. Judge!

Vince McMahon comes out in a wig and robe. His son Shane follows wearing glasses and a suit.

HHH: Judge, how do you find the plaintiffs, Legacy?

Vince: Guilty!

Shawn: And what is their punishment your honor?

Vince: The punishment? They are forced to go through the D-X Hell! Any pranks you can think of, any jokes that run through your minds, they have to take it like the little snot-nosed bastards they are!

HHH: Hm. That's cool. Now the first dealing of punishment is this.

The Titantron shows Tyson Kidd in a locker room by himself. He turns around to walk out, but is stopped dead in his tracks.

HHH: Oh look at his face! Look at that! He looks like he just pissed himself!

Shane: That is so wrong.

Tyson Kidd: No, no no no! I di...

Tyson is knocked out and the camera turns to the one and only...Batista! He is wearing a D-X uniform.

HHH: As you can see ladies and gentlemen, David Batista is wearing a nice D-X shirt, D-X pants and a special, rare, $10 D-X tie! All this can be bought at any merchant in the wrestling building, or on WWEshopzone.com.

Shawn: Ready?

HHH: I don't know Shawn. Are you ready?!

The crowd screams.
HHH: No! I said ARE YOU READY!!!!!
The crowd screams louder.
HHH: Then for the thousands in attendance, and the millions watching at home...Let's get ready to Suck It!!!!!!
Shawn: And if you're not down with that, we got two words for ya!
The crowd chants SUCK IT!! but Shawn is still holding the mic.
Shawn: Oh, and just to give Legacy fair warning, the others WILL be coming shortly.

D-X does their taunt as the green X pyro goes off.



(Steph is in her office with the three other members of Legacy)

Orton: Steph, what the Hell just happened? They took out our Intercontinental Champion!

Steph: Calm down honey, calm down. Look, I'm going to do something about this. Now don't worry, everything is gonna be fine. Just look out for anything they have in...

(Someone knocks on the door)

Orton answers it.

Orton: Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

It's Big Dick Johnson!! He's dancing in the faces of the four victims and Legacy tries to run away, while Steph starts to smile.

Orton: What's so damn funny?!

Steph: Hahahaha!


King: Wow Cole, looks like Orton got more than what he bargained for with the return of BDJ!

Cole: I think we're in for some crazy stuff with the return of D-X. But what did Shawn mean by "others"?


Irish Curse Promo

SOS is in the ring with Finlay and Hornswoggle.

SOS: Hello audience!  I am the Celtic Warrior Sheamus O'Shaunessey, and this is the man who loves to fight, Finlay!

Finlay: And this is my son, Hornswoggle!

SOS: Now, last week we beat one of the toughest teams in the WWE. We beat APA, but now we want a chance at the tag titles. So Priceless, stop bending over for Johnson and come out here!

Priceless doesn't come out but Dolph and Ryan do.

Ziggy: Wait a minute Sheamus. It's great that you beat APA, it really is, but you haven't beaten us. Hell, you haven't even beaten the former tag champs yet. How can you say you're the best when you haven't beaten the former champs yet?

How bout this. Next week we'll fight to determine the #1 contenders for the tag titles. Good?

SOS: It doesn't matter when we fight. You two twits won't last a damn second!


Rey and Kofi in the locker room.

Rey: Kofi, you and me need to keep sticking with the plan.

Kofi: Yea Rey. I don't like just skipping out on the match, but I think the pay is well worth it.

Rey: Exactly, but tonight, actually have a real match tonight. Punk screwed me over at Backlash, so I'm taking him out. And I think our associates will be pleased with the show.

Kofi: Do you think it's okay to take sides in the war?

Rey: You mean the Legacy/DX thing? Man don't worry about that. It's not our fight, but remember, whoever has the cash has our services.

Kofi: Right, that's what "They" taught us.


KOTR Qualification match: A returning superstar vs TK.

Cole: Tyson Kidd doesn't even look like he's ready for a match. After that attack by Batista, he can barely walk.

TK is waiting on his opponent...

"Goldberg, Goldberg, Goldberg" Goldberg comes out with Goldust. He is staring down the torn down-Legacy member. He gets in and does a straight mule kick to the chest. Tyson doesn't even look like he can go on.

Goldberg picks him up, tosses him into the ropes, and spears him! He then hits the Jackhammer! 1..2..3. No surprise there, Goldberg goes on to the KOTR PPV.

Shane comes out.

Shane: Ah the Golden Boys. Well, because Goldberg won, both of you advance to the PPV. That was the deal. But remember my end of the bargain.



Maryse is with Chris Masters

Masters: Last week I was attacked by the Boogeyman. That little piece of s*** doesn't deserve to drink my urine! Boogey! Come out here!

Boogeyman comes out to the ring with the gyrations of a mad man and gets into the ring. He is staring at Maryse with a wickid smile covered in worm remains.

Masters: Hey hey hey! Boogey! Don't look at my woman! Now what the Hell did you do that for last week?

Boogey spits the worms in Masters face and starts to attack him.

Maryse hits him in the back of the head with the title, but he just gets up and grabs her, then delivers a nasty open mouth worm slopped kiss to her.

Maryse runs out the ring, but as Boogey starts to dance around, Masters locks in the Master Lock! Boogey can't get  out! Boogey is trying but Masters applies all his might and Boogey is left in the ring, knocked out.

Masters: Now you know the rule, Boogey! You don't mess with a Masterpiece!

He leaves with Maryse as the next match is about to begin.


KOTR Qualification Match: Ted Dibiase vs Kofi Kingston

Both men make their way down to the ring.

King: Do you think we'll actually have a match tonight Cole?

Cole: I don't think DiBiase has the alliance with Kofi that Rey has.

Ted starts off with a test of strength with Kofi. Kofi is losing, but kicks Ted in the head, then tosses him over hs shoulder with an arm drag. Ted gets back up only to get hit by a dropkick from the Jamaican Buzzsaw.

Kofi pounds on Teddy but he throws him off and throws him to the outside of the ring. He gets out and tosses him into the stairs and then the ring post.

They get back in the ring and Ted wraps his legs around the ring post. He gets out and smashes Kofi's legs into the post! He gets in and Kofi is squirming like crazy.

Teddy puts him on top, then tosses him off the turnbuckle with a high impact shoulder toss. He grabs Kofi and hits the Million Dollar Dream!

Kofi almost taps, but D-X music plays and Teddy lets go. He looks around for a fight, but no one comes. Kofi rolls out, and green X pyro goes off around the ring.

Teddy freaks, and is distracted long enough for Kofi to get back in and hit the Trouble In Paradise! 1..2..3! Kofi just advanced with the help of D-X!


KOTR Qualification Match: Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk

Punk gets in behind Kofi and hits the GTS! He screams and gets a mic.

Punk: Rey, it's your turn!

Rey comes in with a serious look. He gets into the ring, and flies onto the former champ. He jumps and snaps his legs into a hurricanrana on Punk. Punk is tossed clear across the ring, but lands on his feet. He waits for Rey to turn around, and kicks Rey right in the back of the head. Rey falls over. 1..Rey kicks out.

Punk puts him into the corner and locks in the tarantula. The ref counts to four before he lets go. He tires to toss him out the ring, but Rey catches the ropes, slides back in and hits an enziguir right to the side of Punk's head. He puts him in the corner, and hits a 619 off the other side of the corner.

Punk is holding his side when he gets back up. When Rey jumps off for the West Coast Pop, Punk catches him and hits the power bomb. 1..2..No. He picks Rey up for the GTS, but Rey gets out and hits a reverse hurricanrana crashing Punk's neck hard on the outer side of the ring.

Punk is lying there motionless. 1..2..Punk still gets up. Rey gets up top and hits the Frog Splash. 1..2..3

Cole: Okay King. We have three out of six of the Raw qualifiers. Not a bad night for Raw.

King: Yes, well, goodnight every...

"Raise Up...everybody Raise Up!!!" Legacy comes out to the ring. All four members sit on chairs placed for them.

Orton: Shawn Michaels, Triple H, David Batista. You three make me sick. Come out here and face us like men!

"Are you Ready?" D-X comes out.

Shawn: Aw, what's wrong Orton? Didn't like the present earlier? Do you know how much that took out of my wallet? Big Johnson costs a lot!

Hunter: Yeah Orton, you should be generous. It's ridiculous how much BJ costs these days. Seriously.

Batista: Orton, don't be mean. You might hurt Shawn's feelings. All he wants is to make you happy.

Orton: All three of you shut the Hell up! This is four on three! Should you be making fun of us?

Batista: Well, actually we can make fun of you because...it's not four on three.

X-Pac and Billy Gunn come out to the ring.

X-Pac: Ahaha. Man you jackasses should see your faces! It's hilarious!

TK: Orton, what do we do now?

Orton: Look, just because we have two more washed up old men to take care of doesn't mean that we can't win.

Shawn: Actually.....

Green slime comes down on all the members.

HHH: Hahaha, wait, (trying to breathe) there's more!

Chicken feathers fall all over Legacy!

Batista: Ha, oh man. Wait. There's one more thing. Guys?

Pac and Billy go grab somebody. It was Steph. But she was different. What was it? Oh yea. She was covered in D-X paint!

Billy: Oh, don't worry Steph. We'll clean you off.

He grabs a fire hose and shoots her, knocking her down the ramp and under the ring!


This has a Bushboy Inc. Production


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