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Warning Signs That You've Watched Way Too Much of the 2013 NBA Playoffs

SAN ANTONIO, TX - MAY 19:  The mascot for the San Antonio Spurs performs with a young fan against the Memphis Grizzlies during Game One of the Western Conference Finals of the 2013 NBA Playoffs at AT&T Center on May 19, 2013 in San Antonio, Texas.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
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Jesse DorseyFeatured ColumnistMay 21, 2013

We're a month past the start of the NBA playoffs, into the conference finals and raring up for the NBA Finals right around the corner. I think it's safe to say that a lot of us have watched way too much basketball since the playoffs started.

Save a few key days (like Monday, for example), we've had at least one meaningful basketball game every night for a month straight.

It's getting to the point where I'm almost relieved for a night off every once in a while to sit back and stare out the window for a while.

Ah, what am I saying? I could watch basketball every single day of the year and be happy about it.

However, if you're anything like me, or some of the people I've interacted with over the past month, there are some strange thoughts going through your head as of late.

There are a few tried and true signs that there's been a bit too much playoff watching going on in your household. If you're guilty of thinking or doing more than a few of the following—I don't know, go catch an afternoon baseball game or something to calm down. 

 

You're ready to strangle Will.I.Am

ESPN, the NBA and it seems like every single commercial dealing with the playoffs are all using at least a snippet of the spot that Will.I.Am filmed with a handful of basketball players for the playoffs.

It features his song "#thatPower," which is a dumb enough song name on its own. However, once you've heard it for the 375th time, enough is enough.

I've settled on muting my television every single time this commercial pops up, but now my mute button is starting to wear down.

Instead, I just decided to pull up this GIF and watch it while the commercial plays.

 

You're starting to wonder what LeBron James would look like with Manu Ginobili's bald spot

It's gotten to the point where I've switched back and forth between the pictures of their heads rapidly just to see a bit of an overlap.

They are the two most prominent dudes in the NBA with a little bit of male pattern baldness going on, and sometimes my mind starts to wander late in the second quarter.

If those two end up playing against each other in the finals, then I'm going to be forced to spend a while trying to work this out via Photoshop.

 

Metta World Peace's Twitter account has you enthralled

Every night that features a basketball game, I've kept an eye on Metta World Peace's Twitter account.

He's taken to live blogging when he's watching the games himself, which can lead to some interesting conversations—that he seemingly has with himself.

Good game!! #tonyparkersshoes game him extra power!!!!I was suppose to get a pair but whatever. Kobe's will do! nba.com/#$/index.html

Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) May 19, 2013

While some of his thoughts do get weird, he really is insightful at times and adds plenty of extra entertainment to games.

 

Stephen Curry is the best shooter ever and nobody will ever convince you otherwise

This is one of the few over-the-top notions on this list that I've yet to understand.

Curry absolutely lit teams up throughout the playoffs: He made 42 three-pointers in 12 games and nearly shot 40 percent from behind the line.

However, one amazing season and a solid playoffs doesn't suddenly make him the best shooter in the game, nor does it make him and Klay Thompson the best shooting backcourt of all time, Mark Jackson.

They're both really freaking good, but if we could pump the brakes a bit, it would be much appreciated.

 

You're having nightmares starring Joey Crawford

This one actually happened to me.

After weeks of seeing Joey Crawford and actively complaining about him multiple times, I had a dream with Crawford in it that freaked me out a bit.

Now, Crawford was a bit of a disfigured Freddy Kruger-type character, and he seemed to be following me around, but he never actively did anything threatening.

It was unsettling to say the least. May he never haunt your dreams as he has mine.

 

You've started to contemplate naming your offspring different variations of your own name

Lance Stephenson has had a pretty solid playoffs so far, including a 25-point, 10-rebound performance in the closeout game against the New York Knicks a few days back.

Watching him go off in Game 6 against the Knicks completely jarred something loose in my mind and made me remember that Lance Stephenson (who is named after his dad) actually has a younger brother who goes by the name Lantz.

It's weird, sure, but how far could this go? 

He could have an uncle named Lanse, a cousin named Laynce and two more named Layntze and Laynss.

Maybe he's going to continue the tradition with his own family and have a son named Lants, who would of course have an older brother named Lanz.

 

You can predict Skip Bayless' inane rants before they happen

Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma City Thunder were eliminated from the playoffs in five quick games by the Memphis Grizzlies, and I knew what was coming next.

The next day Skip Bayless was going to go off about how Durant flopped in the clutch and let his team down.

Move on a few days later to when the Knicks get eliminated, and he's going to go through the same dance with J.R. Smith and Carmelo Anthony.

You know, it can't ever simply be that the other team was better.

Anyway, it's gotten to the point where Skip is going to have to mix things up or people are going to stop watching. Why watch when you already know what's going to happen?

 

At least three different times you've shouted at Gregg Popovich to put in Tracy McGrady

This has been one of my favorite, yet sad subplots of the entire playoffs. The Spurs have been involved in a few blowouts thus far, which means we get to see some Tracy McGrady!

It's a bit sad to see him relegated to the role of the guy at the end of the bench who comes in to mop up and get sarcastic cheers, but he's in the Western Conference Finals with a team that has a shot at a ring, so I don't feel too bad.

Popovich never fails, though, to wait just a little bit too long to put him in. McGrady always gets in with just a handful of ticks left on the clock, meaning anything he does is purely out of desperation with the shot clock winding down.

Hopefully the Spurs continue to stick around; I'm not ready to let go of 12th-man McGrady just yet.

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