WWE.COM Highlight Reel
"My next point involves Chris Jericho. Chris, you were fired from Raw when you lost to Orton before WM, came back, and then traded. Now, you still have a bone to pick with me. You call me some old washed up fool, even though I just keep constantly whooping your ass.
I've kicked those smack talking teeth down your throat more than your boyfriend Lance Cade's "mic" has gone down there.
Face it, Jericho. It's over. But, if you want that final match at redemption, I'll give it to you. Anytime, anyplace.
Now that that's over, Hunter, you and me are the two greatest wrestlers on Raw—hell—in the company. We've stuck with each other through thick and thin. At Backlash, that doesn't matter. I will do whatever it takes to keep this title".
"Cut the footage".
When did you "whoop my ass?" Let's face it Shawn all you ever did was sweet chin music super kicks when my back was turned. At No Way Out, we were in a chamber match, there were six men. At Wrestlemania, Orton and Christian were also involved in a FATAL FOUR WAY match. You haven't beat me one on one because you can't..it's that simple Shawn. According to WWE, I'm now a SD! superstar, so we'll have to wait for that one on one match. I'll tell you that the day you and I meet one on one will be the day your family will cry for their daddy, for their "father". Speaking of "whooping ass", Shelton Benjamin whopped your ass on WWE SuperStars.
Lance Cade selects SuperStar's on the Jeritron 5000.
-Michelle McCool vs Kelly Kelly take place and Team Swagger continues the fight to take over ECW. The Colons get into a fight that they might not have wanted. Chris Jericho debuts the Highlight Reel on SuperStars. Shawn Michaels main events against Shelton Benjamin.
I find it funny how the tag line for SuperStars is "The next generation". Oh the irony right? You're past your prime Shawn, Benjamin practically demolished you. Did you like how the WWE title looked around my waist? Luckily for you, I'm not on RAW anymore. I hope you're ready for Backlash tomorrow night Shawn, be sure to put some icey hot on your back. Our lovely new GM of SuperStars will be my guest on the Highlight Reel next week! Our guest is in the building, but in the meanwhile enjoy the ECW recap.
The footage plays and no one fathoms what is going on, Jericho gets angry.
"CADE! What the hell is this shit! It's not ECW!"
"Oh, sorry Chris, It looked like it was, it said new era of extreme".
"Look at the main event! It was one of the best matches ever!"
"My goodness, what is going on around here? My Reel only shows "quality work", your lucky I like you Cade, I would have fired you for shwoing this absurd "show" on my show streaming across millions of homes across America and the world. Now go get the REAL ECW".
Cade looks ashamed and finds the actual ECW. He runs it on the Jeritron 5000.
-Miz and Morrison have problems with the Samoan bulldozer and the million dollar man. They take out their frustation in an epic segment of the Dirt Sheet. Paul Heyman is still duking it out with SD! star Shelton Benjamin. Morrison wrestles against Jamie Noble in the race to Judgement Tournament. Katie Lea Burchill's Boyfriend still isn't revealed and Shelton Benjamin pins ECW champion RVD in an exciting main event.
The only thing I have to say about ECW is good luck Swagger, hope you rid the WWE of these old teabags. Now, speaking of Katie Lea Burchill...I saw her with a certain superstar at WWE SuperStars.
Cade tries to walk off the set.
"Don't move Cade, I saw you. After you crashed through the table you were treated backstage. The doctor stepped out to get some antibiotics and Katie Lea came in and gave you an icepack. You two followed up with a couple of chuckles.
"She's just an aqquaintence Jericho, it's a big coincidence. Katie told me a joke and I laughed that's all, I promise".
"All I know Cade is that you better be loyal to me. I'll be a fair man and take your word, I expect you to be by my side at Backlash".
Back to our show, our guest for tonight is the U.S. champion, and Mr. MITB 2009, Shelton Benjamin!
Benjamin comes on set with briefcase and U.S. title in hand.
Benjamin gets settled while Cade runs the Jeritron 5000.
-Mickie James shows how sweet she can be and dangerous as well. Zeke, Festus and Maria hit a bump in the road and Koslov continues to redeem himself by destroying whoever crosses his path. Ric Flair addresses Chris Jericho. Big Show main events with Edge, Matt Hardy, and MVP.
"Wow, can you see how pathetic MVP is? Here is a man who called out the Rock and he's just as old if not older. 38 years old and an ex-convict. Ballin? He hasn't checked his paychecks cause Shelton Benjamin is now the highest paid superstar on SD! I'm Mr. MITB, the U.S. Champ, and the Gold Standard".
"Forget the waste of sperm, I'm on to the big boys. On ECW, I single handedly pinned and defeated ECW champion RVD...his title is soon to be mine. Then on WWE SuperStars, I defeated the showstopper, WWE Champion Shawn Michaels. I've beaten two of the three world champions".
"It doesn't matter who will be world champion after Backlash this Sunday, I'm issuing a challenge to whoever is the WHC at WWE SuperStars next week. They too will fall and they'll be..
"NO STOPPING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--
"OKAY! We get it!"
Jericho takes back the mic and Benjamin takes his leave.
"On to the most of the important part of the night, roll the footage Cade".
“Now...I know that most of you have heard how Chris Jericho isn't going to come here because we're the 'B-Show'.
“I know, I know...he's a jackass. And he's and idiot. And he's really not SmackDown material, but we got him and since he's still a big draw, we might as well be able to use him.
“Whether he likes it or not, I'm his boss now. And he can sit around and say he's not making appearances all he wants, the fact is: Chris Jericho is SmackDown property now. Eventually, his grace period is going to run out and...well...he'll just stop getting a paycheck. Chris, there's no denying I'm old, but WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'm still the man. And dammit you are going to either listen to me or when you DO manage to get on here, I'll never grant you a title shot and your career will never....never...eeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr be the same...again.”
-Ric Flair addressing Chris Jericho on SD!
"Who let the rooster out of the coop?"
"WOOOOO! How much longer to you can't croon anymore?"
"This is the nonsense that I'm talking about. Smackdown continues to go down and people expect me to wrestle on a classless show with bottom feeders who have no respect or dignity. The man? Who said you are? Open your eyes, I'M THE MAN".
"No one wants to see Ric Flair anymore, they want to see Chris Jericho. No one pays for Ric Flair anymore, they pay to see Chris Jericho. Let me tell you something; SD! needs me, the world needs me, YOU need me".
"You want to threaten my chances at a world title? I've got bad news for you Flair, I'm the top of the card. Chris Jericho is the cream of the crop, the icing on the top of the cake, the jelly in the doughnut, the sprinkles on the ice cream cone, the pepperoni on the pizza, I'm the main event".
"SD! needs to be saved and I don't think I want to do it, you people don't deserve it. I only wrestle matches that are for world titles, so I guess you better change your plans. I'm the hottest superstar on the market, the demand for Y2J is undeniable".
"Jericho equals ratings, Jericho equals five star matches. The decision isn't difficult Flair, meet my demands, you should be doing everything you can to make sure I'm comfortable on SD!"
"Instead, you rather have a nurse feed you jello since you have nagging arthiritis. This is why senior citizens should remain in retirement homes. Hopefully I don't run you, it'll be a bad experience for yourself".
Jericho walks off the set with Lance Cade, the show ends.