Now is a great time to jump on the Ohio Wrestling League bandwagon. Tonight in Cincinnati, the OWL roster will be complete, as we award the final four contracts to determine our 12 full-time OWL wrestlers.
On Show No. 1, we began the OWL title tournament and awarded the first eight contracts to the winners of that night’s matches. Those winners were Xavier, Colt Cabana, M-Dogg 20, Joey Mercury, Sean “Val Venis” Morley, "Fabulous" John McChesney, Blue Meanie, and Mike Quackenbush.
On Show No. 2, those eight men picked partners for the OWL tag team title tournament, which will conclude tonight.
On Show No. 3, we crowned the first OWL champion, Joey Mercury.
So tonight, the final four contracts will go to:
- The winner of a three-way ladder match featuring Paul London, Sean “X-Pac” Waltman, and Justin Credible;
- The winner of the 20-Mortis Battle Royale, which stemmed from the gimmick and non-gimmick battle royales
- The winner of the 20-Man, 5-Team Leadership Rumble, which will crown the only official stable in the Ohio Wrestling League; and
- The winner of the Dojo Boy tournament, which will see the eight original OWL wrestlers picking a partner. The four winning Dojo Boy contestants will compete in a four-way dance to earn the Dojo Boy contract.
The Dojo Boy position is based around the wrestling tradition of “paying your dues.” He has to set up the ring, help the fans to their seats, sell concessions and programs, and tear the ring down after show, in addition to wrestling.
The Dojo Boy only earns half the money as the other wrestlers, but if one of the contracted wrestlers leaves the company, the Dojo Boy is promoted to a full-time spot.
So here we go!
Jeff Gorman is commentating solo at ringside, as a large crew of construction workers performs a huge overhaul of the “OWL’s Nest” commentary booth.
Colt “Boom Boom” Cabana opens the show with his “Good Times, Great Memories” talk show.
His guests are his opponents in the Dojo Boy tournament, “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross and Josh Prohibition.
“I know what Matt is up to, Josh,” said Cabana. “He’s going to make you do all the work, so he can win the tag team belts tonight with his REAL partner, Teddy Hart.”
“Okay, smart-aleck,” Matt retorts. “Where’s your partner?”
“He’s right here,” says Cabana, putting a Cubs hat on Josh’s head.
Josh clobbers Matt, and the match is on.
Match 1: Colt Cabana & Josh Prohibition defeat M-Dogg 20 in a handicap match.
Cross is no match for Cabana and Prohibition. Cabana hits the Colt .45 and allows Josh to score the pin after a 450 splash from the top rope.
After the match, Josh hits the T-Bone Prohibition-Plex and grabs the microphone.
“You should have picked me!” Josh yells. He is in the Dojo Boy four-way match.
Match 2: Mike Quackenbush & Gran Akuma defeat Blue Meanie & "Dastardly" Danny Doring.
Akuma pins Doring with the Yoshi Tonic (sunset flip powerbomb).
Gran Akuma is in the Dojo Boy four-way match.
Match 3: Xavier & Quiet Storm defeat Sean Morley & Johnny Devine.
Xavier pins Devine with the “Kiss Your X Goodbye.”
Quiet Storm is in the Dojo-Boy four-way match.
Ring crew workers set up a “runway” in the ring with Christmas lights, as ring announcer Chuck Roberts says “Ladies and gentlemen, this is Modelz Inc.!”
OWL champion Joey Mercury and manager “Hot $hot” Drew Lazario strut to the ring in designer suits. They introduce their Dojo Boy candidate and newest member of Modelz Inc., Chuck Palumbo!
Palumbo does his own supermodel strut down the runway in his designer suit. Lazario explains that Palumbo doesn’t mind going for the low-paying Dojo Boy spot, since Lazario has lined up several modeling gigs for him.
Match 4: Joey Mercury & Chuck Palumbo beat Fabulous John McChesney & Super Hentai.
Palumbo pinned Hentai with a pumphandle slam to round out the four Dojo Boy contenders.
During intermission, the ushers place Mortis masks on everyone’s seat for…
Match 5: THE 20-MORTIS BATTLE ROYALE
Most of the wrestlers immediately attack and roll out a huge 450-pound Mortis, who ends up being Big Daddy V (Viscera). Other eliminated wrestlers unmask to reveal Hardcore Holly, Snitsky, “Hard Work” Bobby Walker, Super Nova, and Villano IV (yes, he was wearing two masks and needed oxygen from a ringside medic).
With three Mortises left, one eliminated the other two with a flying karate kick. He takes off his boots to reveal a pair of red slippers. The DJ cues up James Brown’s “Sex Machine.”
The winner unmasks to reveal Ernest “The Cat” Miller! He grabs the microphone.
“Somebody call my momma!” Miller says. “I just whooped every Mortis in the house!”
Miller goes to OWL talent coordinator Norm Connors to sign his contract.
Match 6: Chuck Palumbo destroys Gran Akuma, Super Hentai, and Quiet Storm to win the Dojo Boy contract.
After the match, Kanyon wipes out Palumbo from behind with a Kanyon Cutter. He dumps popcorn all over Palumbo.
"I know you stole my gimmick!" Kanyon says. "Now clean that up!"
After the ring crew helps its newest member out of the ring, “Disposable Teens” hits, and Allison Danger makes her OWL debut!
She explains that “The Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels has returned to TNA. However, she says The Prophecy will unveil its new leader tonight!
Match 7: Paul London defeated X-Pac and Justin Credible in a three-way ladder match to win the OWL contract.
X-Pac was almost at the top when Credible shoved him off the ladder. Instead of climbing the ladder, Credible went to help the injured X-Pac as London grabbed the contract.
Match 8: M-Dogg 20 & Teddy Hart defeat Sabu and John McChesney (wearing the "Fabu" outfit to win the OWL tag team titles.
Late in the match, Sabu goes to the top rope as McChesney sets up M-Dogg on a table. However, Bill Alfonso comes out blowing his whistle and walks right into the ring to talk to Sabu.
This allows Teddy Hart to attack McChesney and put him on the table. Alfonso directs Sabu to put his own partner through the table!
Sabu gives the tag team belts to M-Dogg and Hart and walks away. M-Dogg drags McChesney’s limp body into the ring as Hart does a triple-flipping dive off the construction equipment onto McChesney for the pin and the title.
Alfonso takes the mic and blows his whistle right in McChesney’s face.
“Imitation is NOT the sincerely form of flattery, daddy!” Alfonso spits.
Match 9: THE LEADERSHIP RUMBLE for the OWL Stable Contract
Each team will have four members. The leaders of the five teams will come out last (Spots 16-20).
Elix Skipper draws No. 1 for Team Canada.
Simply Luscious comes out, and she is not happy. She half-heartedly introduces “The All-Around Best” Xavier, he is obviously very angry about something.
Choir music begins to play. Skipper puts out his hands, as black confetti rains from the ceiling. Also falling from the sky are black flyers that says “YOUR POPE IS COMING…” and on the back, “…to CLEVELAND, losers!”
Skipper takes off his Team Canada shirt to reveal a shirt that says “THE CONGREGATION.” The first Congregation member, “Notorious” Shane Taylor appears at ringside.
He tells Xavier and Simply Luscious, “Follow us. You won’t be sorry.” All four walk out of the building.
So the match actually starts with Johnny Devine of Team Canada and Scott “Sick Boy” Vick of Raven’s Flock. The rest of the competitors before the leaders emerge are:
5 – Tracey Smothers (Full-Blooded Italians)
6 – Dan Maff (The Prophecy)
7 – A-1 (Team Canada)
8 – Donovan Morgan (The Prophecy)
9 – Super Crazy (Mexicools riding the JUAN DEERE~! lawnmowers)
10 – “Wildcat” Chris Harris (Raven’s Flock)
11 – Billy Kidman (Raven’s Flock)
12 – Nunzio (FBI)
13 – Psicosis (Mexicools)
14 – Johnny “The Bull” Stamboli (FBI)
15 – La Parka (Mexicools)
Lance Storm leads Team Canada at No. 16. Raven leads the Flock at No. 17. “The Big Don” Tommy Rich leads the FBI, waving the Italian flag with his face on it.
No. 19 is Juventud Guerrera to lead the Mexicools. He takes the microphone.
“Finally, the Juice has come back to Cleveland!”
He gets booed out of the building. Finally at No. 20, “Disposable Teens” hits. Allison Danger comes out with the new leader of The Prophecy…
...“The Risen Angel” BJ Whitmer, wearing a white version of Christopher Daniels’ outfit.
The final four in the ring are Raven, Kidman, Harris, and Whitmer. Raven instructs the Flock members to dump Whitmer, and then to throw themselves over the top rope.
Kidman complies, but Chris Harris never hits the floor. He comes back in an tosses Raven out of the ring to win the match! He grabs the mic as his hometown fans cheer.
“In Cleveland, they told me to hit the road,” he said. “I am not a Flock member or anyone’s lackey. I’m from Cincinnati, and that means I am a winner and a leader!”
“The WWE let me go before I could show them what I could do. We will finally get a chance to shine! They wished us the best in our future endeavors, and I found the best Future Endeavors to help me dominate this company!”
He points to the curtain, as Ryan Braddock, Gavin Spears and Kizarny come to the ring wearing “Future Endeavors” jackets.
They give a jacket to Harris and stand shoulder-to-shoulder. The jackets read:
“THE FUTURE IS NOW”