Rex Ryan Tattoo: Coach's Mark Sanchez-Themed Ink Candidate for Tattoo Nightmares

Brian MaziqueCorrespondent IIIJanuary 5, 2013

ORCHARD PARK, NY - DECEMBER 30: Head coach Rex Ryan and Mark Sanchez #6 of the New York Jets walk off the field after losing to the Buffalo Bills 28-9 at Ralph Wilson Stadium on December 30, 2012 in Orchard Park, New York.  (Photo by Rick Stewart/Getty Images)
Rick Stewart/Getty Images

Rex Ryan is too old to commit immature and ridiculous tattoo blunders. His Mark Sanchez and New York Jets-themed tattoo—that also features his wife—is one of the weirdest I've ever seen.

The image shows a female—who is believed to be Ryan's wife Michelle—in a sexy pose while wearing nothing but a Sanchez Jets jersey. In case you haven't seen it, here's a link to the image (USA Today).

Because of the absolute certainty that the theme of this tattoo will likely be regrettable, I strongly suggest Ryan call the producers of the Spike TV show Tattoo Nightmares. The artists featured on the show specialize in cover-ups of silly tattoos like the one Ryan is currently sporting.

We've all known people who got tatted on a whim, and years later they matured and grew to hate the body marking. The ink concept wasn't well thought out, and it turned out to be something they regret.

Most of those people were in their late teens or early 20s, not their late 40s.

Ryan became the New York Jets head coach in 2009. He was 47 years old then, and Mark Sanchez made his debut the same year. Unless Ryan is psychic, it is safe to say he got this tattoo in the last three years.

What was he thinking?

Even if he was excited about his first head coaching gig, and the team drafting what he might have believed was destined to be the QB to lead them to the Super Bowl, this was still an overzealous decision.

This is the NFL, Rex, where you're bound to get fired and supposed franchise quarterbacks don't always work out. Ever hear of Tim Couch, JaMarcus Russell, Akili Smith, Cade McNown and others?

Maybe the scene was supposed to be a snapshot of what he thought his Super Bowl celebration would look like.

While I commend him for enjoying the spoils of a fantasized victory with his wife, I personally couldn't quite get up for the occasion with my wife sporting the jersey of a guy we both know.

Can anyone say awkward?

No matter how I spin this, Ryan still comes out looking dizzy.

He is seemingly hanging by a thread as coach with Jets owner Woody Johnson and whomever Johnson chooses to hire as GM (New Jersey Star-Ledger). Sanchez is almost certainly playing for a new team in 2013 (New York Daily News), so much of Ryan's "prophetic" skin role play isn't coming to pass.

His predictions are even less accurate than the Mayans and Sanchez's throwing arm.

Ryan better hope his next QB wears No. 6 and he leads them to the promised land soon. If things don't fall in place, he will have to call Tattoo Nightmares for a cover-up—or invest in a lifetime supply of long-sleeved shirts.


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