The Top 25 Movie Titles That Describe This Past NFL Season

Aaron LiebmanAnalyst IFebruary 21, 2009

With the Academy Awards only one day away, it seems only appropriate to announce the proposed titles for movies that tell the stories of specific players this past season.

Ultimately, these titles were scrapped, since they had either already been used, but were too close to other titles. 

In alphabetical order of the players' last names, here are some of the rejected film titles and the player whose story it attempted to tell.

Escape From New York: The Buffalo Bills and their attempt to change their losing ways by playing home games in Canada

The Pink Panther: Carolina, to describe the way they played against the Cardinals in the playoffs

Dog Day Afternoon: The only way to describe the Cleveland Browns season

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The story of the Dallas Cowboys' last game in Philly

The Whole Nine Yards: The whole Detroit Lions team, since that's pretty much the most they could gain

Lucky You: The San Diego Chargers, for clinching their division with an 8-8 record after the Denver Broncos lost three straight games

Fallen: Browns QB Derek Anderson

There's Something About Mary-Juana: Former Falcons RB Jamal Anderson

Home For the Holidays: Patriots coach Bill Belichick

Falling Down: Patriots QB Tom Brady for getting injured by of all teams, the CHIEFS!

Grosse Pointe Blank: Giants WR Plaxico Burress

Prince of Darkness: Raiders owner Al Davis

Definitely, Maybe: Jets QB Brett Favre

The Invisible Man: Bengals WR Chad Johnson, or Ocho Cinco, "Highlight Reel" was definitely not his nickname this season

The Spitfire Grill: Chiefs RB Larry Johnson

Dead Man Walking: Rams coach Scott Linehan, whose severance package was already lined up before the season started

The Tie That Binds: Eagles QB Donovan McNabb

The Man Who Knew Too Little: Lions president or whatever he was Matt Millen

Tears of the Son of a Bi*ch: Cowboys WR Terrell Owens

Payback: Chad Pennington

Choke: Cowboys QB Tony Romo

Blade Runner: O.J. Simpson for his ability to "run" through other people's homes and blade for, well...

Man on the MOON: 49ers coach Mike Singletary

Wa(g)ck the Dog: QB Michael Vick, okay, not this season, but I couildn't resist

White Men Can't Jump (into the crowd): Patriots WR Wes Welker, maybe not the best title, but how else can you describe a receiver who gets a fine for a touchdown celebration that's only a snow angel


    Eagles Must Let Ertz Loose vs. Pats

    NFL logo

    Eagles Must Let Ertz Loose vs. Pats

    Sean Tomlinson
    via Bleacher Report

    Solder Looking Forward to Facing Chris Long

    New England Patriots logo
    New England Patriots

    Solder Looking Forward to Facing Chris Long

    Josh Alper
    via ProFootballTalk

    Gronk in 'Pretty Good Spirits' After Taking Helmet Hit

    NFL logo

    Gronk in 'Pretty Good Spirits' After Taking Helmet Hit

    Tim Daniels
    via Bleacher Report

    Cowboys Don't Have to Learn from Philly

    Dallas Cowboys logo
    Dallas Cowboys

    Cowboys Don't Have to Learn from Philly

    Todd Archer