NBA Playoffs 2012: Grading the 10 Best Hipster Outfits of the Postseason
Merriam-Webster's definition of a hipster is someone who is unusually aware of and interested in new and unconventional patterns (as in fashion).
In honor of all the NBA hipsters, I thought we should take some time to hand out grades for the best hipster outfits of the postseason so far.
Ahead are grades for the top 10 hipster outfits of the 2012 NBA playoffs.
Honorable Mention: Carmelo Anthony's 1970s Kurt Rambis Glasses
I'm not quite sure what else Carmelo Anthony has on, other than these massive Kurt Rambis-esque glasses.
There's no doubt that 'Melo is a hipster at heart. I mean, he plays with one of the biggest NBA hipsters of all time in Baron Davis.
Unless 'Melo wants to keep that creepy old-man look, he should either drop the glasses or shave that pencil mustache. If he doesn't, he won't be allowed within a few hundred yards of schools just based on how he looks.
Honorable Mention: Dwyane Wade's Confused Librarian Look
This one is on the honorable mention list because I can't decide whether it's a hipster outfit.
I mean, the glasses are certainly hipster because there's a 99.9 percent chance that they don't have lenses, or the lenses are completely non-functional.
The suit, on the other hand, is a nicely tailored suit, so that evens out the hipster quality of Wade's outfit. If he wants to make this list next time, Wade needs to dress a little more sloppily, or at least put on something with fish or some sort of mythical animal on it.
Joakim Noah and His Angry Teenage Girl Look: F
I know a part of being a hipster is looking like you don't care how you look, but come on, Joakim Noah!
Noah looks like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided that he was gong to be angry at the world the entire day.
Noah gets an F based solely on the fact that he should never, and I mean never, wear his hair down.
That is, unless he wants to go with the awkward teenage girl look.
Amar'e Stoudemire Looking Like a Roadie for Simon and Garfunkel: F
The 2012 NBA playoffs were an absolute disaster for Amar'e Stoudemire on so many levels.
As if losing a fight with a fire extinguisher wasn't bad enough, he had to top it off with a terrible hipster outfit that made him look more like a homeless man than a professional basketball player.
The sling just puts Stoudemire's hipster outfit over the top in terms of looking like a bum. There's a fine line between looking like a bum and being a hipster, and Amar'e took it one step too far on the bum side of things.
LeBron James Trying Way Too Hard to Be a Hipster: D
I'm not quite sure if LeBron James was trying to look like a hipster in this photo, or if he just looks awkward whenever he's not in an NBA uniform.
Either way, those glasses are a little too modern-looking to be considered hipster, and aside from that, there isn't anything else that hipster about what he's wearing.
It's clear that LeBron needs to spend a day with Russell Westbrook and Baron Davis if he truly wants to become a hipster in the NBA, because right now, he just looks like a wannabe.
At least he didn't look as bad as Joakim Noah and Amar'e Stoudemire, though.
Blake Griffin Looking Like a College Professor from the 1960s: C
The "college professor from the 1960s" look doesn't really work for Blake Griffin, and it's mainly because he looks too manly to pull it off.
It's like Griffin is a mix between Arvid from "Head of the Class" and an angry, middle-aged dad. All Griffin needs to bump this hipster outfit up to a high B or even an A is a nice pair of thick glasses straight from the 1970s.
I'm disappointed Griffin hasn't hopped on the fake glasses bandwagon yet, and for that, he gets a solid C.
Rajon Rondo Wearing Clothes He Borrowed from Elton John: C+
Rajon Rondo certainly has some solid fashion sense, but this definitely wasn't his best day.
It looks like Rondo and Elton John have been hanging out and sharing clothes as well. If his jacket didn't have that weird brown leather part on it, it wouldn't be all that bad.
What Rondo really needs is some sort of scarf, a pair of wire-rimmed glasses or even some silly hipster fedora to top off his hipster outfit. Unfortunately for Rondo, he wasn't on his A+ hipster game when he went out for this post-game interview.
James Harden's Salmon-Esque Suit: C+
The only issue with James Harden's silky smooth, salmon-colored suit is that his crazy-looking beard takes away from the hipster factor. It's even hard to see the bow-tie underneath that massive pile of manly beard-hair.
Harden is a good case of what happens when hipsters get a little too out of control. Now, if he balanced out his salmon suit with a more vibrant undershirt or even had fish sewn on the outside of the jacket—like his buddy Russell Westbrook—then his hipster outfit would be complete.
Harden's man-beard would go nicely with some suspenders, too. That's a major part of the hipster world that hasn't made it into the NBA yet.
It's time for you to make your mark, Harden.
Nick Young Doing His Best Swaggy P: B
Nick Young looks like the kind of guy you see in a gangster movie who gets offed first because he's the way-too-vibrant and outspoken member of the gangster world.
With that being said, when it comes to looking like a hipster, Young absolutely nails it. He's got the goofy-looking sunglasses, the outdated shirt and a nice gold chain to complement it all.
Young might be an undervalued shooting guard in the NBA, but we can certainly recognize his impressive hipster abilities. He could fit right in with Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro 2, couldn't he?
Baron Davis After He Joined the Cuban Military: B+
I'm not quite sure if this is from this year's playoffs, but for the sake of the Baron Davis' reputation as a hipster, I'm going to include it in this slideshow anyway.
Davis is at the forefront of the hipster movement in the NBA, as evidenced by his classic beanie-hipster look during the labor negotiations this summer.
While this outfit is rather simple for Davis, it meets all the requirements of being a solid hipster outfit: It's outdated, weird and probably rather expensive.
Davis gets a B+, mainly because of his reputation as one of the leading hipsters in the NBA.
Kevin Garnett with the Intellectual Thinker Look: A
Who knew Kevin Garnett was such an intellectual man?
This hipster look works for Garnett because it makes him look like he should be in a library rather than on an NBA roster. He's got the stereotypical hipster glasses and scarf.
Yes, even in the summer months it's important for hipsters to wear scarves because you know how cold they all get.
The only thing holding Garnett back is his rather generic-looking sweater that he's rocking. A true hipster like Russell Westbrook or Baron Davis would've worn something a little more eccentric than that.
Still, nice work by Garnett on the hipster look.
Russell Westbrook's Hipster Fish Getup: A+
We're finally here. We've made it to the granddaddy of them all.
The Russell Westbrook hipster look that includes the fish polo and the goofy, red, lens-free glasses.
When I think of a hipster, this kind of outfit immediately pops into my mind. It incorporates the classic "old is cool" hipster feel with the Steve Urkel red glasses that certainly don't have lenses.
The Thunder need to team up with Westbrook and design a hipster version of their home/away jerseys so that Westbrook can be the NBA front-man for the hipster movement when he's both on and off the court.